-The ZOO!-

Joy: Tell me again, why the hell did you drag me to a zoo on a hot day like this?


Payne: I told you, I'm studying...


Joy: For?


Payne: My Australian Creatures Match... in Space...


Joy: Do you realize how stupid that sounds?


Payne: Nevertheless... I need to learn something about the animals that might very well kill me on Saturday...


-Hunter flags down a fat zitty zookeeper-worker guy-


Payne: Hey bro, where would you keep the animals that are only indigenous to Australia?


Zoo employee: They are scattered, if you actually look at the notes by the animal's cages, you'll see it shows you where the animal is located in the world on this thing called a map...a mmmaaappp, like Dora the Explorer... Do you comprende senior?


-What a little cocksucker! I hope he enjoys cleaning animal shit for the rest of his life-


Payne: First off, I speak English. Second, IF YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AG...


Joy: Watch and learn amateur!


-Now Joy gives it a shot-


Joy: -seductive voice- Excuse me cutie... Can you tell me where I can find Kangaroo's and Crocodiles and shit like that?


Zoo Employee: Yes, you're looking for animals that are more indigenous to Australia? While they are kinda scattered, but you can find most of them just North of here.


-Little zit faced cocksucker points Joy in the direction that is North-


Zoo Employee: I can show you if you'd like?


Joy: No, I got it...


-Payne grabs Joy's hand and starts walking North, getting farther and farther away from the zoo employee as the conversation continues-


Payne: Nah, I'll show her bro, you should get back to jacking off endangered species to help them repopulate...


Zoo Employee: Hey, That's not my job here!


Payne: No one cares semen gatherer!


Joy: See how easy that was for me?


Payne: Well I don't like your methods, but you do get things done...


-By means of being a flirtatious succubus slut, but still-


Joy: Ok, so what is the reward for risking your life on Shove It this time?


Payne: A TV Title shot later that night, with space weapons legal.


Joy: Oh geez, what a geek fest that should be. By space do you mean some type of comic-con thingy?


Payne: I don't know, all I know is I'm going to get to use my mothafuckin' lightsaber bitches! For one night only!


Joy: Nerds fighting all night? BORRRRRINNGGG!!!!!


Payne: You don't have to go. It's just going to be me and a couple of other guys like Jonny Rebel, Smoke Man, and Matt Lennox.


Joy: Alright you talked me into it, I'll go.


-The Fuck? -


Payne: Ummm you were just complaining about it...


Joy: Yeah, but you need me there. So I'll do you this favor and go with you.


Payne: Uhh geez, thanks?


Joy: Yeah... Hey we're here.


-Payne looks around until he spots a Kangaroo habitat. The Kangaroo is just layin there, fuckin' chillin'-







Payne: The Red Kangaroo... "WARNING: Not all Red Kangaroos are Red"... blah blah blah... "Their fur is velvety to the touch"... "When they fight they appear to jab like boxers"... "They have a naked muzzle as does the Wallaroo"?


Joy: Aren't all animals naked???


Payne: And what the fuck is a wallaroo?!


Joy: Isn't that the Nixon Scandal thing???


Payne: That's Watergate Joy.


Joy: Oh.


-Joy and Payne move on-



Joy: What the fuck is that thing?!


Payne: A carnivorous marsupial the Tasmanian Devil.







Payne: Hahahaha Ever heard of Wrestlemania? Well it says here " Tasmanian Devil's are only for on the island of Tasmania"! Hahahaha


Joy: Does it say why they're so ugly?


Payne: "It says they are not aggressive until food enters the picture."


-Joy walks to the next habitat as she doesn't care for Tazs' (Tazi?) and Hunter follows her. As they look back they can see the zookeeper guy going into Tasmanian habitat to clean their shit and probably jack them off since they are endangered. Whew, glad they didn't stay for that-


Joy: AHH! HUGE RATS!!


Payne: Badicoots!







Payne: Says here "There are over 21 different types of Bandicoots"


Joy: Uhh, It's a rat...


Payne: "Bandicoots hop around like Kangaroos"...


Joy: But it's a rat...


Payne: It's not a rat... It is a... Marsupial... That is native to...



-Joy moves on without Payne, Hunter realizes he was talking to himself and follows Joy-



Joy: Hey, What are these ugly duck squirrels?


Payne: These are Platypus's (Platyply?) Joy.







Payne: "Found in Eastern Australia"... Blah blah blah... "Has a bill that resembles a duck but it is really an elongated snout" .... Hahahaha It says here " The male Platypus has a sharp, hollow, horny spur about 15 millimetres long on the inside of both hind leg ankles. This is connected to a venom gland which produces a very strong toxin." Hahahahaha They have a poison dick! That is... Fucking awesome! Hey Joy... Joy? Joy???


-Joy walked away a long time ago-


Joy: Hey come look over here!


Payne: Why? What's over there?


Joy: Awww wook at the wittle babies!!!


-Joy spots a uhh... a flock? Yeah, a flock of Kutie killa Koalas-






Joy: Sooooooooooooooooooooo cute!!!!!



Payne: Joy it says here "Koalas despite being adorable, they are very violent creatures"...


Joy: Bullshit. AWWWWWWWW!!! Look, the baby is looking at me!!!









Joy: AWWW! Baby you wanna come home with me???





-Just when she said that, as if the Koala can sense the evilness in Joy, it gets angry-










Joy: AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



-Joy runs off terrified. But Hunter falls to the floor, laughing his ass off!-

---

OOC: Animal facts/quotes source: http://australian-animals.net