Jacksonville, Florida

The Friendship Fountain


Da Bing Bong Twinzz are throwing a block party to celebrate purchasing every last trailer park in Duval County.

All of their friends are there. Spider and Tanya from PWT. Pill Shovel and Tony Percs, who brought the party favors. Darren Dangerous is there and he’s bleeding into the fountain. Ruckus is sitting and staring at a bunch of girls who are probably pretending to be old enough to smoke cigarettes even though it’s a school night.

MC C-Munqqquee and Li’l Ca$h-App are behind a set of turntables, blasting hot jams for the molly-addled attendees.


MC C-Munqqquee BathZaltzz: "Yo yo you seen Lexi anywhere? I been had sent her a invite in her DMs and I think she’s gonna show up this time, fam. She can’t get enough of this thickdick twin meat,  shiiiiiiiiiiiii"

Li'l Ca$h-App Yung Dolla Billyunnai$$e:"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"

MC C-Munqqquee BathZaltzz: "How these corny ass clowns in the XWF fixin’ to have us wrestle in front of nobody, bro? Ain’t they see how we be blowin’ up on socials? We viral, bro bro. Now we gotta just smack up these three fools with nobody watchin’? That’s sadder than Atty Themis’s pussy lips sealing shut because her husband couldn’t get it in."

Li'l Ca$h-App Yung Dolla Billyunnai$$e:"Plus they disrespected us by not putting us in the War Games draft. They should just give us the tag straps honestly because they know we the best team in this industry, but instead they got us wastin’ time with some nobody named Domink Strike? Who the fuck even is that? This the best they got now that Jason Cashe pissed himself and ran away when he seen us coming?"


The Twinzz watch as a ring is set up next to the fountain. It’s a smaller than normal ring, though, and it only takes a few minutes to get completely put together.

XWF Minis GM Quentin Quinn then wanders over.

“I hope you gentlemen are ready for the peak of entertainment! The pinnacle of pugilism! Grappling from the greats! The minis are guaranteed to breathe a new life into this… mostly empty park!”

The ring starts to fill with familiar Minis. You know them. You love them. Hubcap. Pebbles. Tremble the Clown. Dodecahedron. El Buho. There are also many new faces in there that must be new signees to the division. One is dressed like a robot and calls himself Beep-Boop. Another is apparently an alien with a symbol for a name that seems to be pronounced “Zip-P-Pah.” There’s a tag team of matching Mexican minis named Los Cholocitos. A fat rapper type named Smallie Biggs. The world’s oldest mini, Badger  Boondoggle, who is 76 years young. Nannerpuss, the yellow cat mini.The Gimp, a bondage themed submission specialist.  There’s even one named Killroy whose whole gimmick seems to be peeking up from behind the apron like those doodles everyone did back in the day.

Then Mini Morbid arrives and cleans house! He sends all of the the minis flying out over the top rope, and they all make sounds like squeaky toys when they hit the ground.

For a brief second it looks like Pebbles might get the better of Mini Morbid, but no! Double M drops into a splits and punches Pebbles right in the nethers, giving her a fat lip!

Pebz is then dumped over the top and minis referee Tater McGillicutty calls for the bell. It’s all over folks! Mini Morbid grabs a hot mic!

“Listen up PUTAS! I am coming to REIGN FUCKING BLOOD all over Ca-FOOL-ton Jeff Borden this upcoming Anarchoween! I have my costume ready, and I am DRESSING AS THE MOST TERRIFYING MONSTER OF ALL TIME MINI MORBID!!!! TRICK OR TREAT JEFF!!!!! YOU SHALL SUFFER AT MY HANDS AND DIE A CRUEL DEATH IN THE RING!!! I promise to literally murder Jeff Borden and disembowel his corpse before making love to a beautiful woman inside the husk of his empty body! IT WILL BE HIS MOTHER!!! She has gotten enough money from a scratch off ticket for a  Greyhound ticket to BULLSHIT KENTUCKY just to WIDEN HER MOUTH AROUND THE GIRTH OF MINI MORBID!!! FUCK YOU JEFF!!!”


Mini Morbid is handed his prestigious Minis Championship belt as Big Preesh saunters over to the Twinzz with an obscenely large Slurpee in his hands. It appears to be a mop bucket filled with Pina Colata flavored Slurpee.


“AYYY did y’all playaz know they just let you fill up whatever the fuck you want in the 7-11 these days? Check this shit!”

Preesh sucks down a full quarter of the mop bucket until his eye starts to twitch.

“Got DAYUMM I got me a brain freeze, kid! Shit I’m strokin’ out like Mastermind in an Elimination Chamber-free pay per view! !”

Preesh starts punching himself in the head to overpower the brain freeze. He then notices a mini wrestler waddling back toward the horse trailer they get delivered in - it’s Nannerpuss! Preesh decides to use Nanner as a proxy for his Anarchoween opponent, and he snatches him up by the legs before steaming into his backside.

”YOOOOOO Latoya Hixx! You better stand up when you speak to me so I can hear you talking out yo ASS! Listen to what Big Preeshy baby gon’ do when we get in this ring baby girl… Preeshy gon’ smack it. He gon’ twist it. He gon’ flip it. He gon’ spin it. Preesh gonna go full BOP IT on a bitch and knock the grills right off your teeth, you feel me? You betta RECKANIZE! Big Brain Chop!!!”

Preesh hits the devastating maneuver onto Nannerpuss and the mini is left a quivering mess. Quentin Quinn comes over with a wheelbarrow and scoops up his employee.

“You only get half pay now that I have to assist you back to the horse trailer!”


The party continues…