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T.H.U.G.S · (12-21-2023)

“Due to the THUGS knowing their promo isn’t going to be seen, and knowing they won’t achieve shit against the duo…. Here's a promo from “them”... viewers discretion advised!”

[Then we cut to an All That type of intro with just “JB” and “T” (who are played by none other than Kennan Thompson and the forgotten Nickelodeon child actor Josh Server) where we see them doing random shit in the street. After the into ended, we see JB and T in a cafe somewhere, where T was doodling feet pictures on a notepad while JB was drinking his Mocha Tai Chi in the late afternoon. Then JB see’s on a TV screen in the corner that “Dolly” and “Corey” are supposed to make an appearance at an opening for a Cafe named “Doll-Rey Cafe” and JB stops T to get his attention.]

JB: Yo T… you heard about that new cafe that’s an hour away from this spot?

T: Uhhhhhhhh…what about it?

JB: That’s where Corey and Dolly are setting up shop. Don’t you remember the plan to kidnap them for ransom money?

T: Ohhhhhhh….rightttt…. Wait, what's the plan again?

[JB then sighs and looks at the screen again, then JB then looks at T again.]

JB: Okay so you dumb or deaf… we are going to kidnap Corey and Dolly!

T: But why tho?... I mean what they have to offer besides money?

JB: You know they are opps this coming Saturday at Warfare. We need to scare them into retreating!

T: I mean… that’s cool and all, but still… beside–

[JB slaps the shit out of his face for being an idiot, as T mouths “okay”. Then they leave the cafe and drive their whip to an undisclosed location. After some time passed, they rolled up to the event in a pink van with rainbows and unicorns on the side of it. As they were about ten miles away from the opening. T was scrolling on his phone looking at Dolly Water’s um…. Pictures of the lower extremities while JB was smoking on a candy laced blunt that he chews on. Then the car suddenly stalls on them as JB was trying to start it.]

JB: T where the heck did you got this crappy hoopty from?

T: Hey man, it was given to me by a local mechanic named REPAIR MAN MAN MAN…

JB: Really you got this rainbow van from him? What about that good burger van that you told me you could use earlier this week?

T: Man, Ed had his son Ed Jr use it for his driving test.

JB: You mean Ed got kids?

T: Man, I know it’s been over 26 years since Ed was a teen, but he runs a good burger and I had a brief moment with him.. He’s zany but cool as heck bro!

JB: Oh that makes sense… Anyways, are you sure they are the right couple? I don’t want to get the wrong one!

T: Man they are! I mean I think this is the place… or in Coreytopia…

JB: Coreytopia?... where the heck that at!

T: I don’t know Florida i think.

JB: Oh wait a minute…

[JB Legits pulled out his phone to search Coreytopia, and realized that the real couple shop was in Florida and not in Texas. JB then has second thoughts about the plan, until they see the couple walking into the Cafe. Then JB said fuck it and they decide to kidnap the not Corey and Dolly couple. As they waited in the backdoor, they managed to kidnap the couple with black bags over their faces and handcuffed them, and tossed them into the back of the rainbow van. Then they drove back to the undisclosed location, and placed the not Corey and Dolly side by side on chairs. They took off the bags over their heads, and the couple screamed at them.]

Girl: AHHH LET US GO YOU CREEPS!

Guy: YEAH LET US GO!

[Then as they were yelling out their lungs, JB and T go to another side of the location that looked like a garage, where they talked to one another about how to deal with them.]

JB: Look, let’s see if they got some clue on who we are. Let’s test em!

T: Nahh, I'd rather not… I don’t want to do this… how about this, you scare them i’ll go stay here and keep on lookin at real Dolly Water ummm… stuff.

JB: What stuff?

[T then ignores him while he was scrolling on the phone over pictures of Dolly, as he leaves the garage back to where the kidnapped are, who are still screaming like if they are bitching over paying for a parking ticket, then he pulls out a water gun and sprays them to shut up.]

Girl: WHAT THE MEANING OF THIS!

Guy: YEAH WHAT SHE SAID!

JB: Look, shut up both you! Sheesh, no wonder why the media calls y’all the two most annoying couples ever.

Guy: That’s not true!

Girl: What he said!

[JB then rolls his eyes at them and sprays them, with more water to the face and body, as they squirm in their newly worn Gucci clothing.]

JB: Listen, I know you aren’t the real Corey or Dolly.. But you both kinda look like them. Do you know who you are messin with?

Guy: No, we don’t.

Girl: What he said.

JB: Can you stop sayin that shit!

Girl: Force of habit!

JB: Fuck it, don’t y’all know who you represent? You both are the embodiment of what this world considers as a power couple. I mean, fine and all but damn… can’t y’all think for yourselves?

[Then the two looked at one another, and couldn’t come up with an answer. Before the scene could continues, the remaining footage gone missing in the files, where the real JB and T were trying to polish a clip of a new show. Then we see the editor scrambling to find the remaining footage, but after about two hours or so passed, and they couldn’t find any more scenes, so they ended up scrapping it. A couple of days after their failed pilot went up in smoke, JB, T and the editor named Joe all sat down in a lounge somewhere in Texas to chill.]

Joe The Editor: Sorry if I couldn’t find the rest of the footage, that harddrive on my laptop is beyond its limits. I need to find a new laptop to edit on.

JB: Don’t you use your PC at home to edit shit on?

Joe The Editor: Eh, sometimes I do. But I like doing it on the laptop more. Being in the moment was pretty much what I like to do.

T: I mean, you're right that the laptop looks older than dirt itself.

[Then the three men laugh, and they end up seeing Kennan and Josh from their failed pilot at the lounge meeting up with the trio. They had a look on their faces when they thought something was funny with their money.]

Kennan: Yo John, yeah, me and Josh’s check bounced on us.

Josh: We need to get paid, you know I could sue y’all for non payment and ruining the All That brand and theme song. So where’s the money?

[Josh pulls out a broken bottle, while JB looked at the two, and stood up to them with his frame. Kennan signaled Josh to put the broken bottle down, which he obliged. JB then smiles at the duo, and hands them each 1,000 dollars in rolled up cash. Then they look at the cash that was handed to them, and nodded at the cash.]

Kennan: Oh this is lot of dough, well thanks for using us in the project.

Josh: Yeah thanks for that, when it’s going to be released?

[Then Joe was given the look of “you tell em” from JB and T, and Joe then looked at them with worry as he has to break it down to them.]

Joe The Editor: Uh, well there won’t be a new show since the footage got lost in my laptop.

Josh: What? I flew from Chi town with Kennan for a show that isn’t going to be seen? Man this was a terrible idea!

[Kennan and Josh walk away from the trio to speak privately, as they were back into their own conversation. Then after some time passed, Kennan and Josh ended up shaking the hands of the trio.]

Kennan: Look, we talked to ourselves about this and we decided that if you need us to do some stuff you can contact our agents like y’all did.

Josh: I mean, I agree even if the show isn’t going to be seen… we can help y’all do some acting stuff with you guys.

JB: Well that’s good to hear, i’ll keep in touch with your agents if something comes y’alls way.

Then after that positive thing that transpired into a good side business, we get into something least greatest thing they got…

Somethin bou’ talkin ish’!....

[Image: giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e4726laan1q7bxc8afsbe...y.gif&ct=g]

[Image: giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e4726laan1q7bxc8afsbe...y.gif&ct=g]

[JB holds a picture of Corey Smith…. ]

JB: I know I know I will never be on the line of Corey, I don’t have the same wrestling acumen as him, title reigns and all the world wide recognized like him. Hell, I can’t even afford a land in Florida, I don’t even have a Jocquim or whatever the hell his servant’s name is. Fuck, I bet if I traded places with him, I still wont’ be known at all. I could be the richest man in the land, but nobody would give a damn at all.

I know I am not as classed as him, oh no, I am a nobody and I do wish there was a “i’m just here” championship because it seems like that is the main thing I got going for me. Fuck my brief reign as a X-Treme champion, fuck the whole entire hall of fame spot, fuck when people decided to flee to other promotions when this place was dealing with a man who rhymes with Sharver like in Far Cry game but without a hawaiian shirt on a remote island.

Fuck when I had to deal with two people who fled when I needed them the most when I brief run with the now dead Trio titles… fuck my meagear accomplishments in this god forsaken place. So I guess I am third in the turd, but at least I get the word in.

[T then holds a picture of Dolly Waters… ]

T: I will never be on the line with Dolly Waters, I too don't have the same wrestling acumen as her. I am not even close to being a gypsy queen of the XWF. Although I do have some runs as belt holder, I too am not in any position of recognition. Maybe, I should have picked Reggie to take them on, but what difference will it truly make for the outcome of this match?

I could NEVER get one on Dolly Water, or my stick will get too hard for when I somewhat beat her down on her level of the game. I could never get on that moi lookin type of woman, I know her daddy is proud that she’s sticking to the Waters name, because she makes me want to drown myself in water from her speech. I too will not be able to outlive this hustle culture, and be able to watch Price Is Right at night when it’s alright to fight it…

Maybe the thugs will never never NEVER improve beyond 2023 into the new year!

[Then each man decides to tear the photos of the duo and crush it with their hands. Then the look into camera that Joe was holding, as it swings back and forth towards the duo where it landed on JB].

JB: Let me say this, all this talk about us just wanting to get paid is true, lets be honest as someone else puts its bluntly… its all about the money and the miles. Every show, every meet and greet, and every single PPV overseas tend to take a told on your mind, soul, and body. Why else would I or T or even Reggie be involved in the first place?

Maybe if I had the same drive as the duo, by now I could have been the third or fourth black Uni champion who’s still active in this company. I could show up to every show, and still know that I won’t be accepted as a wrestler who’s good, all my time here I’ve been seen as a joke and nobody would want to take me seriously.

Back then, when I was rookie, I damn near worried about what the locker room thought about my in ring shit and my attitude for this business, but now as I've gotten more older and angrier, I just stopped giving a shit about all that. So what if we get paid to be bad, it’s get paid or not get paid. Hell look like Corey, this man bought an island and you think he gives a fuck about XWF?

[Then the camera pans to T.]

T: Don’t bother to answer because they know it’s true, yeah Dolly you tried to make yourself the gypsy queen of XWF but you had to miss moments that you can’t get back, well now it’s a full circle when you and I have to cross paths again. I know you wanted to be the big shot while Corey was out there getting his endorsement deals at Jim Jimson’s Sea World, you thought you wanted it all. Can’t have your cake and eat all of it, or you get a tummy ache.

Let it ache as you think what you are missing in your lives, we might not be the types to be all workrate like you two. We thrive on what we do, and it’s brawlin like a mafucka every single got’damn day in that ring. These fans might be hard pressed to ever see one of us pull a five star mat classic out the ass, so we do the bare minimum in order to get to the next time.

Corey, did you ever do the bare minimum while being in XWF?

Dolly, did YOU ever do the bare minimum while being in XWF?

If you both want to front like that’s not the case, then oh boy I got enough ideas to know you both are full of it. But I get it, that’s what happens when you have Corey bring up title reigns like if it's a measuring contest to see who has the biggest stick in the ring.

Justa let you both know, mine is a small one.

[Then it pans back to JB.]

JB: We don’t pop Christal, rain on strippers, or even buy car that are new… we damn near rent a hoopty and almost kill hoes in hotels. So that’s all a false narrative about how we move, maybe if I could come to Coreytopia, I can rain on your servants full of fake bills as they do our bidding to ruin that name. On the real, since you both want to come back and act like we got to prove somethin, then lets fuckin do it.

Let me and T prove to you both that we might not be proficient wrestlers or proficient with our wealth, mic skills, and all the above you guys have over us. Let us prove that, yes we can wrestle worth a damn even if it’s an opener to a crowd who would rather hear a shitty CRAM mixtape, let's make something happen.

I and T don’t fucking care who comes out on top, because you both want it to take it deep especially with Corey considering me third turd of the group, well let me flush y’all down to Mr Poo’s lair when we finish with you both after the night is over, because I want us to end this shit in the most interesting way as possible.

Do you have anything else to say T?

T: Yeah, well like what he said…. Fuck the fame, money, clout, title reigns…. Fuck all that shit, we are out for your blood in the streets of San Antonio, let the heat soak your bloods in the canvas like a Dali painting as we walk out of that arena with our heads held high, knowing that we finished the saga of Dolly and Corey.

While you both walk away from this place by next year, we still be here doing the so called bare minimum while getting paid, but fuck all that for now. If it’s a fight y’all want, then it's a fight y’all get from us…

We gon rumble in this jungle, this Warfare, we're out!

[Then it simply just fucks off into something else better than this honestly!]

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