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Bulk Logan · (09-19-2023)

In an office that exudes nothing but luxury, Larry Smith occupies the grand leather chair behind his massive desk. Wall-to-wall plush carpets, and a wall of windows showcase an awe-inspiring city vista. It's a space that practically shouts "Success!" at whoever walks in.

Larry sat behind his desk, with his oily black hair, aggressively receding hairline, and overly bronzed skin. The latter made his gleaming, veneer-capped teeth pop out even more.

Seated to one side of the room is Gary Newman, an accountant by trade and an unfortunate friend of Bulk Logan. He sits uncomfortably in his wheelchair, his arms and legs encased in casts, serving as less-than-subtle reminders of what may happen when you're friends with the Bulkster. Gary's face was twisted with discomfort and resentment, especially as his eyes locked onto the formidable figure of Bulk Logan, who stands awkwardly in the center of this office staring at the floor like a scolded child.

"Bulk, what the hell was that? A drunken promo outside of a bar? We're trying to salvage your image here, and you pull a stunt like that?"

Bulk, shrugging nonchalantly: "I'm in my 40s, dude. Ain't nothing wrong with a grown man enjoying a drink at a bar. Sheesh, a hero like me? You’d be an idiot to think that I DIDN’T drink, brother!"

"It's not about the drink! It's about the image, Logan. You're supposed to be this virtuous hero to the fans. Heroes don’t cut drunken promos outside bars, especially not while their accountant – and I might add, FRIEND – is being assaulted inside!"

Bulk, rubbing the back of his neck: "Look, Larry, the inspiration just hit me, okay? I felt the energy, the momentum. You always say 'strike while the iron is hot,' right?"

Larry, scoffing: "Not when the iron is drunk and making a scene!"

Gary, interjecting weakly: "And skipping out on the tab... leaving me to face the consequences."

Bulk, a hint of guilt in his eyes: "I told ya, Gaz, I went out to grab my wallet, and... you know how I get carried away sometimes... When I came back, it was too late."

Larry, pointing a stern finger at Bulk: "This isn't just about one night, Logan. This is about your future, your legacy! I've worked too hard to rebrand you, to rebuild you after... well, after everything. And I'll be damned if I let you throw it all away over a spur-of-the-moment blunder."

Bulkster, defiantly: "Maybe it's time for the XWF to realize that the Bulkster can't be tamed. I play by my rules, brother, and if they can't handle it... well, maybe they don't deserve Bulkamania!"

Larry, leaning in, his voice dripping with disdain: "Listen closely, Logan. You're getting a second chance in the wrestling business after being blacklisted for 14 damned years! I had to call in a favor with Theo over in the XWF! You think anyone else would've taken you back? Think about Gary, think about those fans who've stuck by you, and yes, think about all of MY money you'd be jeopardizing. You may think you're above the rules, but trust me, the world doesn’t. If you cost me even one red cent because of your antics, I swear, I'll ensure you're back out in the cold, and this time, there won't be any coming back. You'll be done, once and for all."

Bulk, breathing heavily, locks eyes with Larry: "You threatening me, brother? After all we've been through? You think it's been easy for me? Fourteen years in the wilderness, scraping together a living, while you sat up here in your plush office raking in the big bucks."

Larry, smirking: "You were damaged goods, Logan. No one wanted to touch you. It was my magic that made this little comeback possible. And now – before you've even had your first damned match back, you're in over your head!"

Gary, raising his voice: "Enough, both of you! We all have a lot invested here. Pointing fingers won't get us out."

Bulk, glancing at Gary, sighs deeply: "I'm sorry, Gaz. I never wanted any of this for you."

Gary, softening slightly: "I know, Jerry..."

Larry, leaning back with a sigh: "Your clean-cut superhero image was the one thing we had going for us after... the incident. You had the love of your fans, Bulk. The little Bulkamaniacs that still believed in ya, but after this recent stunt, it just reminded people of ‘the call’ *SIGH* ... I don't know."

Bulk, rubbing his temples: "That phone was recorded illegally! I was the damned victim, dude! It cost me everything, and all because of some drunken pillow talk, dude!"

Larry, shaking his head: "It doesn't matter. Perception is reality in the business of show business. We need something big, something that'll remind everyone just who Bulk Logan really is."

Gary, chiming in: "Not just a reminder, but a statement. One that says you've changed."

Bulk, slowly nodding: "Something genuine. Something that shows my heart, my passion. The real Bulk Logan."

Larry, skeptical: "And what exactly would that be?"

Bulk, a gleam in his eyes, suddenly stands up straighter. "I've got it. I know exactly what to do. The Bulkster is going to cut the most genuine, heartfelt promo the world has ever seen. No scripts, no rehearsals, straight from the heart. I'm going to remind the world, and especially the Bulkamaniacs, why they fell in love with me in the first place. It’s time for the world to see the real me."

Gary, smiling weakly: "That's the spirit, Logan. Be genuine, be honest."

Larry, still doubtful but willing to play along: "Alright, Bulk. If you think this is the way forward, then we're with you. Just... make it count."

Bulk, pumping his fist: "Trust me, brother, the Bulkster is about to run wild, and the world won’t forget it anytime soon!"

"The Bulkster waited all week with baited breath, dudes! Waited to hear, after 14 years away from the business, how fire my opponents shots against me would be, and let me tell you something, brother, IT'S NOT HOT, dudes!"

"First and foremost, let me address the blatant disrespect from the XWF, brother! Bumping me from the opener to the second match? What's up with that, dudes? I'm anything but mid. I'm like a five-course gourmet meal in a world full of fast food, and the only reason I’m being dragged down is because of the quality of my opponents, brother!"

"And let me make something crystal clear – this demotion definitely had NOTHING to do with that tipsy promo from last week! You think the Bulkster gets shaken by a drink? That's pure, passionate Bulk energy, and if XWF can't recognize that, well, that's on them, dude!"

Bulk, jabbing a finger at the camera: "Now speaking of opponents... Dolly Waters, I've got something to say to you, sister! While Bulkamania is running wild, you’re running scared! So scared that you’ve got a streak of yellow running so far down your back, it looks like you stepped on a banana peel, dude! For a 'decorated former champion' and so-called 'prodigy' as they call you, your commitment level seems real low, just like my opinion of you!"

"And then we've got 'The Judge.' Man, you've been laying down some serious misjudgments, brother! Talking about how I was never in the XWF, never a TV champ? Dude, I’ve never claimed to be in XWF! I made waves in the WPW, holding that TV championship with pride before the business turned its back on me. And as for focusing on facts, Judge? Looks like you need to get your eyes tested! When you can't even get the basic facts right, it just makes me wonder if you should even be called 'The Judge', dude!"

"And about me being a Hulk Hogan wannabe? Let me set the record straight, brother! Terry Bollea wishes he could be even half the man Bulk Logan is! It was 1984 when Jerry Logan—that's me, the real deal—set the world on fire! I was the one who slammed all 1200 lbs of Andre the Giant at Wrestlemania III, in front of the whole world! I carried the top prize in the business, the WWF World Heavyweight Championship, for over five solid years! I was the one who transformed wrestling by staring in Rocky III, and I was the one who made professional wrestling the mega-show it is today, dude!"

Bulk's voice rises with passion: "And then, when they found out that the Bulkster was actually just a Bulky kid not even in my teen years, dude? They panicked, brother! They had to let me go, but Vinnie Mac Daddy shuddered at the thought of losing his cash-cow, so what'cha think he did, brother? McMahon hired that skinny, second-rate Terry Bollea to steal my thunder, to rip off the Bulkster's unique brand! Just like TERRY BORDEN was doing a few years ago, RIGHT HERE, in the XWF, dude! The fans know the truth, brother. Even if you're too blind to see it! Todd, dude, throw up that comparison shot I emailed you, brother!"

"You see this, brother? This is irrefutable proof! Look at those two pictures, and tell me who's who!"

"Over here," he points to the bulked-up image, "That's the real Bulk Logan, brother, when I was setting the world on fire, slamming giants and running wild on everyone who dared step in my path. And over here?"

He scoffs, pointing to the skinnier version, "That's the imitation! That's Terry Bollea! When Vince and the WWF brass realized that the Bulkster was but a REAL child prodigy, they got cold feet, kicked me to the curb, and brought in this skinny Bollea fella to fill my size 16s!"

Bulk continues, his face turning a shade of red that matches his bandana, "They stole my name, my legacy, even my catchphrases, brother! And for what? To promote an imposter and keep that cash coming for a few more years, dude? We all saw Terry fall flat on his face and run towards the Thundering Paradise, dude! Never did much of nothing until he had a gang of hooligans to back him up, brother!"

"McMahon thought he could replace the irreplaceable, by taking my name and giving it to Terry! But look at the pictures, brother! The Bulkamaniacs know the truth! They know who the real deal is, and so will you, Judge, when come Relentless, the court of Bulkamania sentences you to career death along with the rest of your Misfit pals, brother!"

"Judge, dude, every word out of your mouth, just baseless claims and empty threats!"

"You tried to discredit the Bulkster's legacy, thinking you've got the evidence to convict? HA! Brother, all I've seen is you trying to twist the truth, but the Bulkamaniacs, they've seen the evidence, and it's right here!" Bulk pounds his massive chest. "And on that screen," he points back to the pictures, "Where the world can see, dude!"

"Let me tell you something, you've just painted a big target on your back, and the Bulkster has never missed a shot, brother!"

"You wanted the spotlight? You got it. At Relentless, it's gonna be you and me, one-on-one, because we all know Dolly doesn't stand a chance against the Bulk of the Bulkster, dude! And when the dust settles, your gavel won’t save you, brother!"

"So, Judge, I hope you've got your closing statements ready, dude. Because at Relentless, Bulk Logan is gonna close the chapter on your career, and when it's all said and done, there won't be any appeals, no retrials. Only one undeniable truth: that the Bulkster reigns supreme, and Bulkamania will live FOREVER!"

"So whatcha gonna do, 'Judge,' when Bulkamania runs wild on YOU?!"

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