By the last breath of the five Bastards that blow
I'll have revenge upon
Smile in their face I'll say "Come let us go
I've a cask of Bastardillado"

The one and only Nickleman snickers to himself as he remains shrouded in the darkness that has overcome him. A small candle is all that lights our scene, and the flame on the wick seems to be burning quick! The long-lost Bastard's silhouette is seen reflected against the shadowy wall. He appears to be playing with two XWF action figures, showing them at the top of a dollhouse, slowly descending a small plastic staircase. Do you wonder which bastard dolls he's playing with? Showing no concern for your query, The Nickleman continues singing his merry tune as the wrestling figures "walk" down the stairs of the dollhouse. 

The Nickleman can't help but let out a jolly guffaw as he shepherds the two action figures into the "basement" of the dollhouse. Through the silhouette on the wall, we can see that one of the action figures is significantly heavier-set than the other. The two dolls begin talking back and forth once they reach the basement, voice acting courtesy of Charlie Nickles himself. 

???: Yeah, and? You just rubbing salt in the wound like you usually do?


???: WELL THIS TIME, IT'S DIFFERENT! AND WE'RE GOING TO REALLY WIN THE BIG ONE, FOR MORE THAN FIVE SECONDS THIS TIME! And if you don't believe me, then your fatass can go take another lap!


???:  Different, eh? I think we'll see about that, buddy, but for now....you just keep on sipping on this sweet cask of Bastardillado!


???: Yeah, this stuff is pretty good. It got steroids in it? It tastes like it got steroids in it. I sure hope so, because everyone knows I can only keep up this big hulking figure by guzzling down a cockload of roids' everyday!


???: Yeah, it's full of something special just for you alright...


???: I think I'm starting to feel woozy...


???: Oh, so NOW you want to think? Well I guess there's a first time for everything, Mr. Comic Relief...


One of the wrestlers turns around to leave the basement, only to stop dead in his tracks once he realizes the door has been locked. 


???: Wait, why's the door-


Oh don't worry about that door, little dolly....


From the shadow on the wall, we can see Charlie Nickles lean back and let his dolls stand tall on their own two plastic feet. Once he's comfortable, the man in the shadows reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a pipe. Then, another flame sparks to life before quickly vanishing. A big puff of smoke fills the room in an instant, clouding our scene with a hazy fog.


My friend just has something to show you.

Somehow, on the shadow of the silhouette against the wall, we see one of the action figures suddenly reach out with vicious intent. It grabs the other doll and forcefully shoves it against the wall before reaching into it's clothing and pulling out some sort of wire. It quickly binds the other doll against the wall in an incredibly homoerotic pose. The man in the shadows watches on with the pipe in his hand, clearly amused by the action.


???: What are these chains that are binding my arms?!


The shadow of our broken angel sparks another bowl of his dust as the dolls come to "life" in the most twisted of ways.


Those aren't chains, old pal: THAT'S BARBED-WIRE!


The truly bastard doll reaches into it's clothing once again, this time pulling out a gag and shoving it into the mouth of his new victim.


Charlie's 'Friend': Say it's a game and you'll come to no harm.


The shadow of The Nickleman wipes the joyous tears out of it's eyes before tucking the pipe away. The bound and gagged doll cries as they struggle, but it's no use. There's not a single soul who wants to hear their desperate pleas and plastic screeching. This naturally causes our dastardly Nickleman to break into merry song and tune once more as he leans in close to the tortured figure.


You who are rich and whose troubles are few
May come around to see my point of view
What price the crown of a PooBob on his throne
When you're chained in the dark all alone!


Just then, we hear a creaking sound coming from the corner as a stray beam of light breaks through the darkness. The voice of a small child whispers through the room: the voice of Charlie's favorite daughter. 

The shadow on the wall shields it's face as a ray of light burst onto the scene.