Angelica Vaughn
The One True 5'11 Vaughnemous One!
XWF FanBase: Families & Kids, casual fans (fighting the odds; helps others; disliked by most adult male fans)
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05-08-2023, 03:31 PM
’t Was the eighth of May,
beware ye, beware ye, those who may…
Have expected more than a half-assed rhyme out of this.
It’s the XWF Draft, and like any draft, overthinking it is lethal!
Angelica Vaughn and Edith Seybold stood on the back of the podium, looking pretty pleased already, having drafted both Vita Valenteen, vamp chick extraordinaire who suspiciously stayed away from silverware other than the XWF Tag Team Titles, and the Lion Kid himself, who got his teeth and claws on all of the wins in sight.
Seemed like a recipe for success, but as any great bar tender knows…
The mixer, aka the Captain, decides where the drink goes.
The first spirit, aka Vita Valenteen, decides what flavor it’ll take. But the second liquor in the maelstrom decides how hard it’ll hit… and Raion Kido is a hard hitter…
But none of it matters unless you get the herbs and spices right. And that’s exactly what would turn this last pick into the perfect overall cocktail off Kitty Kaiju Destruction.
Angelica Vaughn herself was up on the podium to declare her last pick.
”My friends, my citizens, my… Candaians! Last year I was but a humble meat clown, but… No wait, scratch that. It makes it seem like I was embarrassed to be a part of such a great group of competitors. I was not, and I am not, and I will never be. All I’m saying is that this year I have a chance to show the world the kind of leader I am. And I’m not doing this as some kind of vanity project, I am doing this to show that we’re all stronger together. I have always believed in that. And therefore, to announce the last pick of who will make the Kitty Kaiju’s GREAT!... is poetry laureate Walter Veidt. My I have a big hand? AND NO THAT WAS NOT A RHETORICAL QUESTION."
Up upon the stage stepped a small man, who was nevertheless broad of chest (IT WAS NOT JACUINDE) in front of the microphone, his voice boomed across the deserted plains. This is what he said:
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desart.
Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
Welcome to the future War Game Champ, mister Land of...
That makes the KITTY KAIJUs complete!
It's:
Angelica "Five Foot Eleven" Vaughn
Vita "Freakin' Vamp" Valenteen
Raion "Not From Detroit" Kido
Mister "Not Wizard of " Oz "at least I don't think it's meant to be taken literally"
After dozens of mock drafts, finally the process has come to and end, and we can definitely say:
Bring on War Games!
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