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Barney Green · (02-11-2023)

I am finally in Texas after driving for the last 10 days on the road. What a fun trip its been. Most people would've traveled by plane but fuck it, Do it old school and drive down the coast. Wanted to have a fun little trip and see the world.

Paid quite a bit of money to that bar because of a slight misunderstanding. The party never ends in my life. Going all in with my balls out on full display. I am never gonna stop partying and fighting for whats mine. Daddy is always ready to go.

Dionysus may be smarter than me when it comes to the way he carries himself and speaks but that means nothing once the bell rings. Clean his clock like its nothing. Been doing this a lot longer than most people. How can you stop somebody like me? A person who has nothing to go home to. Some people might call me a butcher because of the blood i've spilled and watched flow from my own body.

My body aches at times but once that bell rings, the pain disappears long enough to get through the fight. I expect a war in that ring. Just gotta outlast what the other person does to me. I died awhile back. Xavius revived me on the 7th day. I am not truly human anymore. I died in a car technically and was revived by a car battery.

Fueled by electricity to keep the battery going. I am literally a monster who has nothing left tying me to this mortal plane of existence. What can you possibly hit me with? My body is literally one big scar at this point. Pass me another white claw!

Getting ready for a true battle at Warfare. I've seen what Dionysus has to say. He wants a war. I'll give him one. Don't need a chair or a light tube to win a fight. He may be about the fancy drinks but I am not. Whatever gets me drunk works. I've been around the world and seen sights half the world won't even get to see in their lifetime.

Not bad for some fat drunkard from Boston who just got lucky. This white claw tastes so good as it goes down my throat. Wondering what my next power up will be. Drinking until the night fades away and morning hits. Even at 39, I can still go the distance. To think that I have been in the XWF since 2008. Man, Time flies.

Drink everything in sight! Just not that foreign crap that costs way more than its worth. I am a very dirty individual when you think about it. Nights of drunken debauchery. Gotten into my fair share of fights. I'll never back down and never surrender.

Looking at this battle, I am not afraid of what is coming my way. I may be balding a bit but that's alright. Just shows age and experience. I have made my share of screw-ups but I somehow recover. Whether it be the bankruptcy of BG Studios, Working as a Garbage Man, or BarnCoin which wasn't a scheme. I don't know how many times i have had to explain to people that it was a good investment.

I even bought a bunch of fancy suits to prove that. Thankfully, I didn't face any jail time thanks to the great lawyer I had. He is worth every penny. I do what I have to in order to survive. What a life I have lived and its only beginning. I will never truly retire from the XWF.

Dionysus, You may think I am the weak link of Green Gravy but you are sadly mistaken. You and Blondie are definitely on our radar. I don't need much sleep. Just power up the battery inside of me and I am awake.

Let's see if I still got the skills to end this like my name's MCA. They call me Barney Green. Very violent dean. Switching up my style a bit. Going after this tit. Get out of my way. Be rocking this all day. Only need one eye to take you down. All you'll be left with is a frown. Be getting all the tgirls. Finish with a twirl. Nail you with a Green Dream. Gonna need a team. Try and stop me.

It will be Unlucky...For...You..

The camera turns on and we see Barney Green driving towards a local gym. He is dressed in his trademark black shorts with a gold stripe down the sides and black tanktop. He goes to speak.

Barney: Gonna meet up with an old friend of mine. The skunk himself. I remember the many antics we got into back in the day. Like that time we stole a mannequin so we could drive in the car pool lane.

Barney turns into the parking lot as he continues speaking.

Barney: Good old Louie. I heard he moved down to Texas because of work options. That guy was insane back in the day. Reason we called him the skunk was he was the only one of us at 16 to have a solid white stripe in the middle of his head. Made it much easier to get beer. Most places aren't gonna card a dude who looks old.

We then see some footage of Louie and Barney doing stupid stuff. One clip shows Green falling down a hill in a barrel.

Barney: Okay, I admit I wasn't exactly the brightest person in the world for letting that guy convince me to climb into that barrel but that is life sometimes. All I got was a lousy bottle of Rasputin. That shit is gross.

We then go back into present day as we see Barney walking into the gym. We then see a bald man approach Green.

Barney: Is that you, Skunk?

Skunk: Yes it is, Barn. You look smaller than you did in High School. Remember those days?

They shake hands and Barney goes to speak.

Barney: Yes. Fun times it was. I was the guy that didn't have much of an athletic build.

Skunk: Technically, Round is a shape.

Barney just laughs.

Barney: You got me there, Skunk. At least I still got most of my hair. So what brought you out here, anyway?

Skunk: Figured it was time for a change. The cold was affecting my bald head too much so might as well move somewhere warmer.

The camera zooms in on his bald head as Barney goes to speak.

Barney: Never change, Skunk. You ready to start working out?

Skunk: I am ready. I may be 41 but I can still outlast you on treadmill.

The camera cuts to a scene of them both running on the treadmill. Green starts out strong and so does the Skunk.

Skunk: We are just getting started.

The skunk increases the speed and starts moving faster. Barney starts to increase the speed on his as well. We then hear a voiceover clip from Barney.

Barney: Gotta give it to the man. He obviously took better care of himself and I don't know why we are about to show this.

We see Barney slip and go sliding off the treadmill and land into a guy lifting weights. The guy drops the weights right on Green's chestnuts as he falls over. The skunk stops the treadmill laughing. The skunk goes to speak.

Skunk: You okay, Barn?

Barney quickly gets up and shrugs that off. He helps the weight lifter up. Barney goes to speak.

Barney: I am okay. I think. Are you alright?

The man goes to speak.

Man: I am okay. Just be careful on the treadmill.

The scene cuts to a shot of Barney standing outside of the gym with the Skunk.

Barney: Well, We got some more stuff to do but for now, I am Barney Green and this is my life on the road. Stay tuned for the next part of this series.

The scene fades to black.

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