Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Lacklan · (03-04-2022)

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

This is your reason for being, the starter of the hottest fires, Sarah Lacklan-

[Image: erRkSGO.gif]

-YOUR favorite podcasting empress (#TrendSetter #Influencer #PleaseSubscribeToLikeLiterallyEverything) and I'm here right this hot second to give you some picks in the Plump Pigeon Tournament! Mind you, as YOUR Anarchy Commissioner #BestBrand (#WarfareSucks #SaturdaysAreLame #WhoEvenWrestlersOnMondaysAmIRight), I don't axly have any say in WHO wins these matches, but! As the World's Greatest Life Coach #FamilyFirstOfTheXWF, I sure do have insight, ya know? So, lets look at this current crop of matches, coming soon, VERY soon to your television screens, and see what shakes out.

#HotBoi vs. The Double V with the Double Bs - Now, EVERYONE knows how long and storied Lacklan vs Valenteen has been (#HelicopterGate #FakeChamp), but I give credit where it's due: She's tough as all hell. But Calvary? He's a #Hotboi! And I've seen the way Vita's beady eyes glaze over when she looks at him. Will that be enough to put her in a daze so he can put her down for three? I bet SHE hopes so! (#ThatsASexReference). BUT! I don't think she's QUITE ready to go down on for him (#AnotherSexReference), and would rather be the one on top (#MakeThatThree). Winner: VV for the W!

BarnDoor vs. Generically Gross - To quote my BABY Sister: Ew. No matter what happens in this, I'm pretty sure the fans are the losers. Winner: Draw

Rubes vs. Foot dude - Shouldn't be much of a surprise that I'm giving the nod here to my (non-spouse, non-family) BFF Rubes, but what SHOULD be a surprise is that I think it won't be by much! Tommy grossed me out, like, on the very first day when I showed up (#MarchMadnessWinner #SarahWinsLOL), but he is WAY better now than he was then! SOME of you peeps are STILL at the level from where you were three years ago. Tommy? Way better. I don't think he gets the upset her, but I think he has a GREAT chance of still winning his block if Rubes stumbles even once. Winner: Ruby

That foul-mouthed janitor vs. Rubes' pet zombie - Listen, I still haven't figured out why Vinnie let the overnight janitor into the tournament...just because he refuses to wear the regular custodial uniform and instead some weird green rags he picked up in the trash outside Walmart, or something, doesn't mean he should be allowed to enter a tournament...but I guess that lets Zombturion start off with an easy 2 points, I guess? Winner: Ruby's undead lover (#ViagraCantBeEnough)

Initials vs. the 4CW guy - Truth be told, I don't know anything about HGH. He's legit in the tourney because my passport to Mini Morbidonia is expired and I couldn't get a pigeon through. But what I DO know is that he's fighting a loser who gets heated by "no u." LOL! (#LoveYouClaire #LetsDoLunch #PleaseStopHittingOnKenziThroughTwitter #NoReally #tysm). So I'm going for the person who is NOT a weak bitch this week! Winner: HGH

Old dude vs. my ward - Ugh. Why didn't that bitch just TELL ME she was hurt?! SIGH. Winner: Boots by way of DOLLY HAS A CAST ON HER FREAKIN' LEG.

Welp, that's it for now, Baby Birds! Stay tuned for Anarchy and ALL these matches SUPER SOON!

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode The PrincessTwilightSexyFang Podcast!
Author	Message