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BIG PREESH · **02-23-2022, 08:04 AM**

The Disintigrators walk into the room with their manager, the UNDEFEATED tuxedo match king, Freddy Fabulous - as well as their towering friends Big Preesh and Big Mad Ivan.

Johnny and Dave look ready to rumble, but Freddy waves them back and pulls a mic from behind his sequined dinner jacket.

Freddy Fabulous: "Well my, my, MY if it isn't the Portland Princess, the Kennebunkport Queen, the BITCH from Bar Harbor herself! Mademoiselle Sarah Lacklan, the alleged heiress to an alleged empire that allegedly matters to a number of people somewhere between zero and two. Listen to me, half pint, I remember back on the Penobscot Ciscuit your old man had you running his spit bucket to and from the ring at three years old - all the boys in the back called you Little Miss Sunshine, which, of course, was meant IRONICALLY. I'm happy to see an entire childhood of PMS has led to a dully functioning member of society - NOT!"

The D-Grators along with Preesh and BMI hoot and howl at the incredibly witty line.

Freddy Fabulous: "But you see Sarah, not EVERY professional wrestler is as quick to sell out as your father, the man known to slap his last name on anything he might be able to sell. Why do you think he started up that Path of the Light seminar business anyway? Look at the timing, Sarah! 1993! He saw Waco on the news and said I CAN DO THAT! We all thought it was a rib. Now you stand here and insult the two BADDEST men to ever walk the halls of the X-Treme Wrestling Federation over MERCHANDISE??? I'll have you know, those little dolls you bought online are knock offs. There ARE no Disitingrators action figures! These men have INTEGRITY! They have GUMPTION! They have PRIDE! And unlike the Lacklan Corporation of Officially Licensed Products and Performances - aka, your FAMILY - THESE men have a BOND of FRATERNITY! THESE men would not sully themselves for every nickel and dime they could put in their coffers! THESE men are MEN'S men. And if you want to challenge MEN'S men... then first you have to go through THEIR men! Preesh! Tell her."

Freddy hands his mic to Big Preesh, who points one clubbed finger at Lacklan with a snarl.

Big Preesh: "You listen up right here right now you little WITCH! You want my friends Dave and Johnny? First you gotta get your ugly pigtails twisted up by me and my BOY, the BIGGEST and the MADDEST, Ivan the Terrible! You got you a partner? I DON'T CARE! We'll smack your little girl scout ASS two on one if we have to! And we'll steal all your Tagalongs, Do-Si-Dos, and Adventurefuls too!"

BMI: "Don't forget the Samoas, Preesh, those are my favorites."

Ivan states calmly. Preesh continues screaming with all the veins in his neck popping out.

Big Preesh: "AND THE SAMOAS TOO!!! You're gonna GET IT little girl! I hope you brought your little red riding hood, sister, because these two BIG, BAD WOLVES sre gonna huff, puff, and KICK YOUR FREAKIN' ASS! WOO!"

"Dangerous" Dave Mustang: "WOO!"

Johnny "Twisted" Steele: "WOO!"

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