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If there is one thing that mother has taught us… It’s that we never play with our food, right?

DOCK’s deep voice bellows throughout the darkness and he drifts away from Thaddeus… As DOCK swims away he sees the boy’s body slowly sail away until, like ashes, it crumbles away and disappears into nothingness.

But what fun is that?! If Alias taught me anything throughout all of this.... Aside from some mad puppeteering skills You can’t just eat it.

BAH.

He prepped and marinated that left hand of his for months before he finally gobbled it up and, at last(!), after a strenuous wait, we were at peace from Alias getting maimed by a bunch of weirdos creatures of the night week in and out. I’d compare the saga to Duke and Page roasting on low for four to six months because that’s about how much everyone cared about all that. I guess look at it like Alias taking one for the team because no one really wanted to waste their OWN time destroying the absolute bottom part of the roster of this FINE FOUL federation. So, what is it? Because I don’t really know why everyone or anyone would be so happy about this guy being our top guy. Seriously!

DOCK floats some more. He flails his arms about as he talks in the darkness..

Now, I’m not saying the guy doesn’t deserve what he has or anything… All I’m saying is that is it worth all of the praise? I never touched on this too much but the start of this “craze” began when? Just before he beat Reggie Estrada for the Xtreme Title, right? I dunno, or maybe it started back at High Stakes with his fabulous puppet show. Regardless, one lucky strike after another led to Alias cruising through, what? Fourteen or so weeks as Xtreme Champion? Until, I… DOCK(!) Finally stepped ahead of the line at May Day and did my best to STOP this asshole from getting a briefcase and preserve this Goddamn place, only to get foiled by….. …… ….. . . .. . … . . Eh.

Yeah, yeah, wah wah wah. Get over it DOCK! But don’t tell me this fucker owns me when he just managed to live through what just happened to be the luckiest best day of his life. Don’t act like I’m just another meal when you all know that I’m not just some victim that rolls over and dies…. Well, not in a permant sense, I suppose. Alias has pissed around with fire before but has NO idea the fire he started and will soon find out he has no idea how to control it. Que sera, sera

He folds his arms and starts feeling around for a cigar in his pocket, but doesn’t find one. Sighing out loud, DOCK goes from a float to a walk and as he does so a red door appears in front of him. The door opens up into the office of Doctor Louis D’Ville. The infamous place where the good doctor would hold his sessions long before his second crowning as King…. Long before he went up in smoke. Long before he lost his damn mind. He approaches his desk and pulls open the drawer for a cigar. He lights it with a snap of his gauntlet then plops down in the big leather chair.

So, look what’s happened, Corey Smith basically worships the fucking guy. As much as Corey and I pass back and forth who is the most vile and disgusting, distrusting, piece of shit, nothing, fucking fucker in the whole universe, I don’t think he’s stupid. I know he’s not. He knew deep down Duke's intentions during the draft and knew that he would have to, no matter what, go with the champ. Corey is smart enough to at least surround himself with those stronger than him. That's why it was so easy to go with the flow in Continuum. In that scenario, too, you had the Universal Champion at your side and myself on the other. Talk about being in the safest place in the universe. Now, with the offer surely already dangling over your head before we left the venue that night, I must ask, why start the commune? To help people? Doubt it. You’re lonely? Hmmm, negative. No one squatting in your brain so you need a couple dozen real people voices to fill in the blanks? Oooh. Shiver me timbers. Disguised as some peaceful nap shack of a place for the screwed up and weary, you knew it would attract damaged goods like, say, Dolly Waters. Maybe, if you were lucky enough, even Alias. You can’t pretend anymore that inheriting some dead psycho’s mansion and a mysterious entity haunting you from your past doesn’t make you a super villain. Or, I guess, you could maybe be Batman.

DOCK scoffs and snuffs out the half-spent cigar right on the top surface of the desk leaving a large, quarter-sized burn. He disappears behind the desk and brings up with him a wooden box with action figures inside. One-by-one he takes them out and places them on the desk.

Hey everyone look at Corey pick apart teams like some retired basketball player turned analyst who can look at the cover and give us a nice broad, generic analysis. I mean, I guess we’re all guilty of it to a degree. EVERYone is doing it, but if anyone needs to look back and consider how well they drafted, it’s him, right? DisContinuum is still intact. BoB is, of course, still going strong. What the fuck happened to FUCKTHAD? I mean, FUCK Morbid Angel, too, right? That guy was no good for you anyway. At least Centurion…. Um… I mean, Centurion can…. He has….. Uh… You know you could always…. Hmmm… Yeah, lucky ducky. The guy just moped around your camp for special needs with you guys and bitched the entire time. And ya’ll say what I’m doing to MY partners is bad? Centurion actually looks like he's getting tortured during this venture. Then bringing him into War Games where he admits, openly, out-loud with that never ceasing mouth of his, that he knows he ain’t beating me. Alias will do all the work, right? Even Corey said it’s all about Alias. My goodness, let’s put all our eggs in one basket, why don’t we?

Corey, if there’s one thing I’ve learned around here over the many years… I’m sure that you’ve learned the same thing… There ain’t a single person around here that is unbeatable. Everyone’s day comes around sooner or later… He did eventually lose a championship so he’s definitely beatable, give or take some silly circumstances. Do you recall how close I was to walking away from May Day with that? I’m aware I’m beating a dead horse here, a loss is a loss, don’t get me wrong, but c’mon! If you’re going to praise this fellow at my expense I’m going to back it up with all the technicalities and facts that go along with it. But it still comes down to the champ escaping with his life and the King being slain, doesn’t it? Even though a sniveling snake couldn’t keep his… I dunno… slithery, slimey oven mitts scales? OH! Lying ass out of my match he was in charge of?

I think Duke made a fine choice, actually, because ya'll have seen we’ve been a proven force in the past. Heavy hitters. Top guns. Legends of the Hall. Hell, maybe we would still be champs to this day had you not been involved. I know, I know… Duke’s the one that lost them in the match, however, I have a strong feeling that just wouldn’t have happened if I was there. That’s not even a shot at Corey’s skill, there’s enough about that. I am actually quite used to carrying the weight, ya know? What I have doubts about is his faith in what he stood for. The bitter after taste following every match defending a championship won by his BFF and what could be his worst enemy some days… The pretentious prick was above defending this championship and never cared about it to begin with. Yes, they just fell on your lap. Yes, I am WELL aware that Thad insisted. And yes, regardless of your distrust for me you remained until there was nothing left. All I ever did was try and bring the best out of Duke, whether it was digging some darkness out of him or not… I know what’s good for the boy. We all know about his stupid emotions and if anyone toyed and fucked with any of those icky things it was you. Who hurt him the most, Corey? Which blow mattered more? You may not care and found new love in whatever the fuck Alias is, but Duke WILL have your throat at the edge of his sword someday very soon.

I know, “What did I do? If I’m so bad and wanted to take advantage of him, why didn’t I go after him while he was champ?” Well, that would’ve just ruined the whole facade, wouldn’t it? That would have made Corey less the victim and more of a…. *gasp* … villain? Is that why you’re so adamant about NOT cashing in on Alias and wasting a good briefcase on some fairy pussy nonsense because you feel bad about….. You? Does Alias even deserve that when he stole another one of my ideas when he phoenix’d himself back into existence after blah blah blah Atara blah blah blah?

Que sera, sera.

And let us not forget who else is on the roster for FUCKTHAD… Corey drafted a North Korean War Criminal. I mean… He doesn't hesitate to call me out on my "methods" all the time but holy jumping Jim Cricket, my foes… It is right in the guy's name for fuck sake. Drafting Morbid Angel from the start is one thing, but wow, look at THIS guy!

North Korean War Criminal.

Hmm…

He DOES seem to have a knack for spotting certain flaws, especially in American made products! Quite the skill coming from someone who lived under the rock of North Korean propaganda for…. What did Alias say? Three thousand years, or something? What is this shit about DisContinuum NOT being a solid team? We, too, all have our roles! Duke is, of course, le capitaine. Andre is our insider… Which, I am sure you can appreciate and understand being a, uh… war criminal and all, right? And Chaos is our cannon fodder.

I….

DOCK sneers.

I am the fire that burns within all of them. I am the combustion that keeps this machine running at apex performance. I am the burned, hardened, volcanic rock impenetrable to the likes of you. Yet, I am flawed. I am tattered. I am torn. I’ve been broken. I’ve been rebuilt from the ground up. Reassembled. Redesigned. While I am flawed I will never become obsolete. I will never be so flawed that I will lose my place, my face, my head in THIS universe and allow someone of the likes of you leave me in the dust. Centurion and War Criminal? Also cannon fodder. Remember what your leader said, not the short, emperor one, “NK”, but Corey! It’s all about Alias. You boys are the front line and if I have to go through the two of you to get to what I want, easy peasy. Centurion already knows his boundaries and capabilities, but YOU, War Criminal…. You haven’t spent enough time around here to get the gist of things, but that’s alright. War Games will teach you exactly who I am and what I’m about. I’m the big bad wolf, baby, and even though I ended up in Alias’s cooking pot one time.... I’m coming back with a jack hammer and a wrecking ball to end this for good.

DOCK arranges the action figures on the desk where one, a 4-inch tall Lion-O from Thundercats, sits on a small stack of books, another figure, Michelangelo from TMNT, beside it, and several of the same red rangers beside that one… all facing a single one, a black GI-Joe, kneeling before them.

Now, speaking of ideas, Alias has recently reminded me of what a joy it was to watch his puppet production all them months ago. I know my collection of XWF figurines is probably no match compared to all the work he put into the Lamb Chops, sock puppets, and dollies…. But, hey, a little extra use outta the old imagination never hurt anybody!

DOCK waves his over the desk and all the action figures change into actual XWF'ers. Lion-O turned into Miss Fury. Michelangelo to Bobby Bourbon. All the red rangers to identical looking Thunder Knuckles. And the GI-Joe turned into a little Andre Dixon. A mist of pixie D'Ville dust wafts through the air and tickles his nose… He huffs…. He puffs………..

AH!!! CHOOOO!!!!

Next to DOCK a *POOF* happens with his sneeze and the "Cereal Killa" Cadryn Tiberius, DOCK's long, lost jester, appears. It looks like he was in a shower as he's soaking wet, yet fully clothed with a shower cap on, eating Cap'n Crunch no crunch berries from the box.

HAI DAWK!!!!! *GASP* WHATCHA PLAYIN?!?!

NOT NOW!!!

As quickly as Cadryn *POOFED* in, DOCK swatted his gauntlet down on the desk *POOFING* him away again. DOCK looks all around the room, under the desk, back and forth, forth and back until he lets out a sigh of relief and grabs the Fury toy.

Grrrr!!! Order in the court!! Order in the court!!!

DOCK chuckles and acts out a scene we might remember from an Andre Dixon experience.

Guilty!!! Blahahahahaha harharharhar!!!! Get him Ghost Tank!!!

DOCK tosses the Fury figurine down and produces an even bigger T-rex from under the desk and slams it down onto Andre!!!

BLAAARRRRRGH!!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!! Hahaha!!

DOCK stares down at the scene he just made, sighs, then tosses the Andre and T-rex down and gets up out of the chair.

He made it look more fun than what that actually was… oh well. Poor Andre Dixon though, right? The one BoB left out of the stew. The odd man out. I noticed everyone noticed that, too! I even had my doubts about the guy and his loyalty towards a group that could potentially face the Baddies in the end. Que sera, sera. Here's the thing though, everyone, do you think it would really matter? Of course I was an accuser and he denied it all, but even if he was a BoB spy…. Would it really affect the end result of War Games? Don't get me wrong, I have faith in the fellow's abilities, but heh, not if the tables turned and the gun was pointed at me. And to say that I am manipulating this poor soul to do our bidding is just ridiculous. I merely showed the guy what could be. Do you really think BoB are sitting around kicking themselves over the fact they were stuck with literally the weakest of links? I doubt it. Do you think when DisContinuum and BoB clash in the finals that they're going to be pulling any punches? Hardly. They are so excited about the fact they're together that they will literally do whatever it takes to be the strongest team walking out of this thing.

I'll admit, Those Couple Bastards… they're great. They are definitely the best of the group and, of course, currently holding the top spot in not just one Tag Team Division… but TWO!! Bobby Bourbon just defeated Corey Smith for the Television Title and Fury is basically the face, chest, and toes of Anarchy. Should we all be concerned about allowing this to happen? Or did everyone not care? I chuckled a bit at the thought of them rampaging through War Games like some super group and then I remembered something! It's JUST BoB.

Duke and I beat the team that dominated this place for the better part of a year and don't get me started again on how they ended up with BoB. BUT. They know as well as anybody that when I'm in the room, things can change drastically. Odds are turned upside down and chances become the slimmest they can possibly be. Snow Job, I pinned Marf to defend the titles in a match the Bastards could NOT win. Deny me my victory over the Bastards all you want. Steal phrases like Worstein about not getting pinned so they add another, separate column to their win/loss record to save a bit of face. Do whatever it takes to keep that confidence up because it will be all you have. Oswald's money isn't going to help you. Fury with all of her global scheming and enterprising isn't going to help. The only thing that BoB has going for them are the two decorated in all that gold…. But when your absolute best barely even scratches the surface of my worst, you can have all the gold in the world, but all that shit tells me is ya'll lack a DAWK validation. Which you all know, I know, TK and Bobby know… They will never get.

As DOCK paces around the room he notices another red door that just appeared out of thin air.

Ruh roh… Looks like we have some more work to do!

He approaches the door and opens it to reveal a grand hall. A red carpet is laid at his feet to guide him up to a throne where his captain, Thaddeus Duke, approaches a throne. DOCK enters the room and as he crosses the threshold morphs from his nasty, ashy-ness to “OG” Doc… The man in the white suit and hat and sinister smile….. He folds his hands behind his back and approaches the throne where Thaddeus awaits.

Your grace.

Your highness.

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