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Kenzi Grey · (01-30-2021)

This episode of The Kenzi Grey Show opens with the host sitting alone, with only the images of her three opponents for Snow Job displayed behind her. Kenzi was silent for a long while before she finally spoke…giving a bit more weight to her words.

“I sat around for a good long while trying to write something clever and witty for this show’s skit…but honestly, I couldn’t come up with anything new and fresh to lampoon these three with…except..."

She turned to the screen as an image of Michael Graves as Norman Bates…as his “Mother.”

“I had this whole scene thought up in my head of Michael Graves being the timid caretaker of the b.O.b. Motel. He would lust after the female guests as he attempted to get them to join his cult. After they refused, he’d murder them and dress in their skin and underwear as he called himself Mother Fury."

The image shifted again.

“I considered mocking Ruby for robbing the Centurion family mausoleum and playing Weekend at Centy’s with a corpse!"

"Just imagine the fun of Ruby putting that stupid mask on a skeleton and driving around town trying to fight crime! It would have been hilarious!”

The image changed one final time.

“For Tula, I had thought of this skit where she was a newly hired knife thrower at a circus where she was attempting to perfect her performance. However, she just couldn’t stop hurling those knives into the backs of her friends every time they turned around. After she’d stab them, she’d be all like…”

Kenzi mimicked Urkle from Family Matters…

“Did I do that?”

Kenzi gave a small chuckle at the thought, likely making mental notes for future episodes.

“The fact of the matter is that I have too much respect for the three of them to lampoon them for some perceived minor character flaws. All three of them are the most deserving people on the brand to be in a match of this magnitude on the first major pay-per-view of the new year. I could make fun of Miss Fury for being Michael Graves…but there’s nothing funny about the fact that when it comes down to it, Miss Fury and b.O.b. have made Anarchy watchable in a way that it never was before. Laugh all you like…but win or lose, they have a presence that demands to be acknowledged…”

Kenzi shrugged.

“…no offense to anyone else in the group, but Miss Fury does tend to grab the most attention. Just saying.”

She turned her attention to Ruby.

“I have just as much respect for Ruby and her skills inside the squared circle. Yeah, sure…she’s corny as hell and is an apparent boner killer to everyone on planet earth…with the notable exception of ONE man. Still, Ruby has the ability to lace up those banana-lime boots and kick ass with the best of them and go on to become a champion at Snow Job. Hell! If you believe the XWF polls, she’s absolutely going to go on to do just that.”

Then to Tula.

“And standing in her way…all of our ways…the Champion of Anarchy…the woman I pegged as two-faced a long time before she let her mask slip.”

Kenzi held up her hands.

“NO! I’m not telling anyone that I saw what she had in store for all of the XWF coming. That was a bit of a master stroke on her part…so props to her for that. She was WAY more conniving than I gave her or Boris credit for. I appreciate everything she did to get where she’s at…”

She paused.

“But to stay there…that’s the real trick, isn’t it? Fool me once…shame you…fool me twice…shame on us…or maybe just me?”

Kenzi smirked.

“I’m not going to sit here and keep kissing the asses of Miss Fury, Ruby, and Tula. I’m sure they’ll do a great job of giving you all a reason to believe that they are going to leave Snow Job as a two-time Anarchy champion! Hell, maybe one of them will be really convincing when they do…but…they won’t be convincing me.”

Kenzi took a deep breath, leaning forward and resting her forearms on her thighs.

“I told everyone on this brand that I was The Face of Anarchy and that I was the one that brought prominence to our little neck of the woods. I talked about it…and I went on a magical run that led me all the way to the very top…and then…”

All she could do was shrug.

“Two opportunities to keep showing you all why I was The Face of Anarchy…and two failed outings. I should be down on myself…I should be crushed…I should doubt that I have it in me to win on Sunday, but I don’t. I know what it’s like to be the champion…and I know what it’s like to be a failure. Newsflash people…I don’t have any intention of continuing to be a failure!”

“I don’t have a faction watching my back like Miss Fury, but I also don’t have all the drama that comes with that same package. I don’t have righteousness on my side or the desire to bring justice to every show I appear on. I don’t have another face to hide my real one behind while I lull the masses into a false sense of security. I don’t have any of those things…but…what I do have…?”

She paused for a moment.

“I have the ability to walk into that ring and kick the asses of the three baddest bitches on this brand or any other…and walk out of Snow Job as Anarchy’s undisputed Champion! I won’t need b.O.b., I won’t need a mask, and I won’t need to trick anyone. All I’ll have to do is one thing…walk in as Kenzi Grey…and walk out with that title…”

She gave a wry smile.

“…and that’s just what I intend to do!”

The lights shut off and the credits roll…

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