Charlie pushes Tommy off of him before reclaiming his Federweight championship belt off of the floor and rising to his feet. He spits on Tommy's face.

"You know why I hang on to this belt so damn hard? So fuckwads like you can't pollute this division by passing this belt around to each other like it was airborne aids. Do you even understand what the Federweight division is supposed to be about? This is supposed to be the division where the baddest motherfuckers in the industry come to gab it out and throw down, going all-in on every god damned hand. Only those rare few who excel both at talking the talk and walking the walk are meant to shine in this division.

But somewhere along the way, pussies like you ruined it. You ruined this division for everyone. For the boys backstage, for the fans, and even for the late great Feder himself. This division has fallen on hard times, it's true. When job boys like Freak and Greggo are able to claim this gold, you know we've got a major fucking problem on our hands. That's why I can't let this championship belt slip through my fingers. I am all that stands between this division and the chaos that your ilk attempts to sew. I won't let it happen. Not now. Not ever.

I ESPECIALLY will not let Tommy Wish take this strap off of me so he can parade around with it for all of two days. Honestly, you should give your whole career over to Eric Pomeranian and let him run with it. What's the worst that could happen? It would literally be impossible for your stock to drop any further. Eric's reinventing that tired old gimmick you trotted around in, throwing some swagger and confidence into the mix. Let him graduate to the REAL DEAL Tommy Wish and you may actually be able to pick up two wins in a row. Crazier shit has happened, right?

Like what, you ask? Like when you rolled over into my autograph signing and thought you could walk away with my belt! If you want a match with Charlie, all you gotta do is ask! But instead you run up on me like some sissy boy, hooting and hollering gibberish no one gives a damn about.

I'm going to set the facts straight for you, son.

I've won ten matches since my debut. You haven't won ten matches this year. I've won six matches in a row. You've never won half that many in a row. I'm the greatest hardcore wrestler of a generation. You're an emo-child copy and pasted from a mid-2000s Myspace profile. Wish and Nickles? They simply don't compare. We don't compete in the same league. We can't be measured by the same statistics. Your greatest performance would be an absolute embarrassment coming from me, a total stain on my legacy.

Now fuck off!"