07-01-2020, 05:02 AM
Sarah hugs the Federweight Championship tightly and smiles in her sleep.
Ah, there's my precious, all wrapped up and gifted by a dumbass who thinks name dropping and referencing other people is how victory is attained. Ah, there's my precious, handed to me by an idiot who assumes that a band hasn't dropped record-breaking albums since that one he heard one time twenty years ago. Ah, there's my precious, thrust away from the breast by a man who can sit talk for five minutes without actually saying anything.
She pulls off her sleeping mask and winks at Tommy.
But that's who you are, huh? A whole bunch of words thrown together that never actually say anything, right? Want to compare me to someone? Let's compare you! You're basically the Konrad Raab of the XWF: Always consistent, always showing up, always talking, but NEVER actually DOING anything, ya know? We can count on you to be there, count on you to exist, but we can also count on you to never actually DO anything worthwhile. Believe you me, while I certainly have plenty of Grey Poupon...which has literally nothing to do with a TED Talk, by the way, but I assume you just thought those random words kinda-sorta sounded interesting next to one another for some dumb reason...but you're basically just store brand mayo. Like, it's decent enough to go into some egg salad, or perhaps covered up by a bunch of spices, but you'd never really want to serve it on something which is supposed to taste good, huh?
But that's you! I'm the grey poupon and you are the store brand mayo. I'm the glass of Cabernet Sauvignon from the hills of Bordeaux and you're that cheap bottle of liquor some drunk carries around in a brown bag. I'm the movie star the entire production is built around, and you're the extra in the background hoping to get their elbow in the shot. I'm the room at the Bellagio with the perfect view of the water and lights fountain show, with the curtains drawn just in time for Sinatra to sing 'Fly Me to the Moon' and you're an overbooked room at Circus Circus when the housekeeping staff forgot to clean up some kid's puke.
But to put it in an XWF-specific sense: I'm the person who, when they said 'So long and thanks for all the fish,' people cried and whined. I'm the one that multiple War Games captains asked to come in as a surprise entrant. I'm the one who, when she came back a few weeks ago, caused a massive pop and stir from the boys and girls in the back. And you? You're the one booker's begrudgingly put on shows because, hey, at least they won't completely suck.
Oh! And another thing, I-
Sarah's eyes go wide and she points in front of her.
OMG! is that Salsa, the Wrestling Bear?!
Tommy predictably turns around to look and BOOM! Schoolgirl pin.
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