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Lacklan · **06-30-2020, 08:57 PM**

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WAKE ME UP

WHEN SEPTEMBER

EEEEENDS

Sarah snorts awake from her standing sleep as her phone blares to life. She shakes her head to push away the grogginess.

Oh, I am so sorry, T-Ish! I fell asleep there for a moment! But I suspect that I'm not the only one, so hold on one hot sec...

She presses a few buttons on her phone and Billy Joe sings louder.

LIKE MY FATHERS

COME TO PASS

Sarah holds up her hand to stop Tommy from interjecting.

SEVEN YEARS

HAS GONE SO FAST

WAKE ME UP

WHEN

SEPTEMBER

EEEEEEEEEENNNNNDSSSSSS

Sarah smiles as she shuts off her alarm.

THERE we go. Now everyone is away after falling asleep from that 'retort.' Listen, its not MY fault that you're too dumb to know what a TED Talk is, or how absolutely convenient a portable screen is for people who actually have a job, but I suppose that comes with the territory of who and what you are. After all, when it comes to clocking in, you are WAY better at cutting promos AFTER your matches than you are leading up to them! Count ol' Timmy in for going all-in when he's holding seven deuce off-suit instead of pocket rockets. Count on him to give his all when it matters fuck all and then trip and fall on his face when it actually comes to matches. And also count him in for offering up nothing interesting, funny, pointed, or even half correct!

Playing superhero with Ruby? Using Daddy's money? Hey, its almost like you didn't pay attention to the months and months and MONTHS I was on top while around here! I'm here to make sure that the current job squad stays away from MY territory, which is kicking Rubes in the teeth as hard as possible, because that's my peculiar institution! I'd give you a few hours to google that one so you have any idea of what I'm talking about, but I know that you'll just skim the definition while doing a desperate search for your name and then give up and cry. But don't worry, all of those big bucks Vinnie and Theo pay you to just kinda-sorta exist will ease up that pain, right? Because they LOOOOOOVE having you around, right? Someone to fill up the card? Someone to book against newbies so that they can start off with a win? Someone to toss over to Ned so that he can break up his losing streaks now and again? Hell, you have a GREAT spot on the card and in the company, ya know? Because SOMEONE needs to help Mastermind out of a professional funk, right?

Now listen, I know what its like holding that belt and having to deal with dumb shit like Taco and the Boston Bruiser. So just let me reset my alarm so that everyone can wake up after your 'retort' sends us back into Sleepytime Zone.

Sarah resets her alarm and puts on a sleeping mask.

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