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**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · (10-04-2019)

When asked about this report, Mr.

had the following comments...

Damn, look how sexy I am!

Did you see how large the picture of my head was in that report, though? I may have the biggest heads in the XWF, and rightfully so, but goddamn even my upper head isn't the size of half of Slackland's body!!! She's not THAT tiny!

As for the tears, yeah, I have to admit I've been weeping like crazy lately because of something very sickening I was made aware of...

It's something so terrible that it may end up leading to the XWF just closing its doors for good and saying fuck it...

I've been crying because of what a joke the Lethal Lottery tournament is scheduled to become this year!

That's right... it's already a known fact that there's going to be a massive amount of shittery in the tournament that would make even Scatbear himself hold his nose!

That worthless piece of shit #Slackland is already being written as THE WINNER of the entire goddamn tournament in some of the leaked ads for future XWF events!!!! Watch in awe as she mysteriously overpowers teams with much stronger and more experienced members on them, and watch as some weeks when she's feeling extra lazy, it will be blatantly obvious that her opponents were shifted and hand picked by "somebody" instead of going in the order of the drawings for the tournament! She will magically end up with the weakest opponents possible even though the live drawings would have suggested her opponents would be someone who can actually hold their own! HAHAHA!!! Who cares if Slackland is drawn to the first team of the picks? If the weakest team is the final team, that'll be the team she gets to face! Such magic! Incredible sorcery! Wheeeeeee!!!

As for this glorious pool of hers... I'll admit, spoilers like this always make my fluids salty, but do you know which fluid has been known to be the saltiest of all?

Not my tears... no, no, no...

See, in order to fill up a pool as large as the one she purchased, they needed a little something "extra" once my eyes had run dry... so you know what I did? I supplied them with some of my glorious LOVE JUICE just to make sure the pool would be filled with the right amount of vitamins and taste OH SO SPLENDID! Just imagine how great Slackland and her boyfriend Ken's complexions will be after swimming around in my delicious, STD enriched salts! I've fucked hundreds of lifeforms in my time and not once have I worn protection!!!! Hell, there are diseases I've tested positive for that even my doctors couldn't pronounce the names of! Mmmmmmm, such smooth, silky skin!

You're welcome, you lovebirds!

HAHAHAHA!!!

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