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Mini Morbid · (08-05-2019)

Mini Morbid fires an arrow directly up and through the glass ceiling of the Federweight Hallway's garden alcove, where Sarah Lacklan sits smelling a flower or something else feminine and stupid.

The arrow strikes the underbelly of a passing MANTICORE, killing it instantly because MORBIDCITO is a champion of ARCHERY!!!

The massive beast crashes down through the glass and lands atop of the fragile and sad Sarah Lacklan, who is most likely mewling for mercy beneath the thorax of the legendary behemoth, ALLEGEDLY, because this cannot be proven though it is most likely true!!!

"ALAS, THE MIGHTY PHALLUS BETWEEN MY LEGS SERVES AS A DIVINING ROD AND HAS BROUGHT ME HERE TO FIND MY CHAMPIONSHIP!!!

Sarah Lacklan is an IMPOSTER! For too long she has been assumed to have regal blood in her PREMATURELY VARICOSE veins! But LO! The only thing in Lacklan's blood is a negative level of IRON, baffling modern medicine and shamans alike! PERHAPS SHE NEEDS A GOOD LEECHING!!!

OPEN YOUR ASS to the inevitable penetration of the VISCOUNT OF YOUR VAGINA!!! Fulfill your destiny as a BREEDING MARE for the future STALLIONS of Mini Morbidonia, or suffer the fate of an accidental periniotomy! YOU SHALL BURST AT THE SEAMS LIKE A WORN PAIR OF DUNAGAREES!!!! Then, when our young have finished suckling at your unimpressive teats, I will discard you upon the pile of used up fleshsacs and your GENEROUSLY ANOINTED WOMB will be donated to create the finest of shampoos and conditioners for my own personal use! YOU WILL GIVE MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR THE EXTRA SHINE AND BODY IT DESERVES WITH YOUR PLACENTA!!!! The hairs from the heads of the Mini Morbids are made to STRING THE HARPS OF ARCHANGELS! THIS IS A HIGH HONOR, YOU UNGRATEFUL SOW!!!!

If you are lucky, your PHRENOLOGICALLY INFERIOR HEAD will be shorn of its fleece, and the strands will be used to create bows for ceremonial cellos and violas FOR VIOLINS ARE AN ATROCITY AND ARE NOT PERMITTED IN OUR KINGDOM!!!! Songs of my conquests will be played on these instruments!!! YOUR BALDNESS WILL BE SEEN AS A TRIBUTE TO MY VIRILITY!!!!!

Also you will cook dinner."

Mini Morbid scales the corpse of the manticore, striking a dominant pose on top of its now motionless abdomen. A phalanx of the finest painters are shoved into the room and forced to compete for the best portrait of Mini on top of his kill, the winner will be permitted rations for the week, whereas the others will be disposed of.

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