“It’s your girl Big Beautiful, but you already know me name;
Three ‘undred pounds of dead sexy internet champion fame!
Oh no, I’s not a porno star even though I’s th’ reason you came;
But I’s about to beat the fuck outta two dicks all the same!”

“Microphone CHECK ONE, I’s come to claim me strap;
Microphone CHECK TWO, ya’ll couldn’t wait to ‘ear me rap!
Microphone CHECK THREE, get yo’ asses up and clap;
Microphone CHECK FOUR, two punks ‘bout to take a dirt nap!”

“I burned Noah like a ciggy after ‘e tried to dis the way me speak;
Bloke got crushed so ‘ard ‘e forgot to do ‘is promo last week!
Ned ‘ad mad sick bars and ‘is shit left me feelin’ a bit bleak;
But I spit the ‘ardest fuckin’ Avengers rap and silenced that geek!”

“Last week I waited patiently to come ‘ere and claim me title;
I’s got forced to listen to bad raps like the start of American Idol!
The wait is over and Anarchy is ‘ere so let’s end this musical recital;
Noah and Ned gonna get beat PERIOD, so I ‘ope they both took a Midol!”