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Lacklan · **05-13-2019, 06:47 PM**

The sad thing about all of this is it turns out you're THAT GUY.

You know who THAT GUY is?

The guy who can't come up with anything on his own.

The guy who can't figure out what to say unless he is able to bust out that CTRL+C and CTRL+V combo of sad nonsense.

The guy who quivers in obsessed anticipation of my words so bad that he has to send me a DM begging for me to validate him.

Pathetic shame that last sentence isn't a joke or jest. That literally happened. Like, screenshotted and everything.

How DOES that feel, anyway? How DOES it feel to be so incredibly mediocre that you leap at every opportunity to get noticed? How DOES it feel to be so entirely forgettable that a whole herd of elephants just shake their head and wonder what the hell all this was about? How DOES it feel to know that there are already, like, six people in my DMs laughing about how bad you are at this?

But you want to play a game? You want to talk about research? Sure, Tubbo Fattystein, here's a research game:

I've watched your promo, too. Ya know, the one where you hope beyond all hope that Rain gets permabanned before the show? The one where you REALLY hope that you get a slot onto my team? Yeah, that one. And know what I found? Nothing but generic comments and insults more uninspired than repeated attacks against a father that is dead and buried.

“DER YOU COULDN'T LAST FIVE MINUTES IN THE RING WITH ME OR LACE MY BOOTS HOLD ON I NEED TO SAY COUTER AND

IN ORDER TO SHOW HOW HARDCORE AND EDGY I AM I WENT TO DA SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS"

But by all means, keep harping on what you can read in my bio and not what I have done in this company and see how well that goes for you.

Research. Ha. Yeah, I grew up rich. But that doesn’t define me. Yeah, I had to battle for acceptance over who I am. But that doesn’t define me. But you? Your struggle DOES define you. Come from little and strive for greatness? You could be the next American Story. You could be an idol for kids to aspire to. But instead, you’re just another example of a nobody who failed to be somebody. Your entire life spent busting your ass and striving to be great, and what have you achieved? A bunch of empty words. A whole bunch of “PLEASE LOVE ME I’M NOT A COMPLETE LOSER JUST 2/3RDS OF ONE DOESN’T THAT COUNT FOR SOMETHING?!” while you fail again and again AND AGAIN.

Sweet Baby Jesus, this is starting to get embarrassing, Vinnie. Please close this up before Wonderbread over here admits to doing more than just stalking ice cream trucks. Seriously, dude. Like, woah, ya know? Graves ain’t got NOTHING on THIS piece of baby-raping shit.

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