"Obviously, even the most substantial male member on the planet, would seem small next to the chasm of a pussy that is Kimmy Granger's snatch. We're talking hot dog down a hallway type stuff. The grand canyon. My dick looks tiny, compared to the great void that is her vagina. And I have a huge cock, in case you were curious. To witness it, is to view the impossible. It's like the Oscar Meyer wiener mobile, with several extra wheels attached. It can block out the sun on an average day, yet falls short when compared to Granger's gargantuan dick holster. Yes, I speak from experience too. I hit that shit. I like sex so.... no kidding, I hit that shit. Anyway. I felt like my dick was Bart Simpson's skateboard, sailing over Springfield Gorge. Still have nightmares about it. The point behind this is that your logic is defunct, Mingermind. Invalid. False. You are the weakest link, goodbye."

2x Universal Champion (First reign was less than a day though, lol. Due to Sebastian Duke cashing in his briefcase.)
2x Tag Team Champion
3x Triple Tag Team Champion
1x Television Champion
2x US Champion (Title retired during my second reign as champ.)
2x X-Treme Champion
1x Bombshell Champion
2x HMW Champion
2x SOTM