Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Lacklan · (04-13-2019)

I'll tell you one thing about this wonderful morning:

You're going to see the staff of the XWF hand the Federweight Championship over to someone worthy of holding a title known for being the promo belt. Because right now? It's on a guy who can't do research, say create original content, or look beyond the surface. It's on a guy who thinks that “Eh...I did okay once in some pissant small fed...so that's cool?” is totes fine. It's on a guy who doesn't have the stamina to survive even a small blowing of the wind. And unfortunately for him, this Queen of Anarchy is a mistral.

Even if you had the skills and intellect to stand up to me, you don't have the stamina, Danny Boy. You wilt away with time. You snooze while others fly. You “won” this championship while someone was sleeping? Good timing, I suppose, but you'll never defend it as long as true class is around. Because a champion is someone that the entire fed can get behind, but even WITH this around your waist, no one notices it or you. They just see some lazy doughboy stinking up the ring so that fans can get a hotdog or some popcorn.

But that all changes today, dearie. That all changes when everyone realizes that the shining light, the sparkling diamond, of Sarah Lacklan has decided to take the Federweight Championship to Anarchy. Because there, with the entire world watching as the MARQUEE name headlines the debut show, they will see someone truly worthy of this championship. They'll see someone who offers a plethora of content as varied and bright as the tail of the smuggest peacock. They'll see the breath of fresh air and change that is the excellence that I bring. They'll see the person who captures the attention of the masses and inspires children to reach for the stars.

So while you cry about why someone as socially and professionally important as me has decided to look down upon you with “WAHHHHH WHY CAN'T SHE JUST BE HAPPY WITH BEING THE HAWTEST AND MOST SUCCESSFUL QUEEN OF THE RING IN HISTORY?! WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO PICK ON LONELY SAD PATHETIC ME?! WHYYYYYY?!” I will be making that title mean something. While you fill up space in your promos with shitty catchphrases that not even Gilly would use and so mamy failed observations about nothing important to the ring that even Lux and Blackwater are ready to pull you to the side to discuss what matters, I'll be redefining this company.

But I'll keep my light on for you.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode A Wild Pigeon Approaches
Author	Message