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Kuda · (04-02-2019)

"Allllllllll that bluster and yet all you can do is sputter and gag on the afterbirth of that lingual miscarriage you were probably so proud of when it raced through your underdeveloped cortex. Oh, your poor little bundle of joy! It never had a chance, much like you and your Kid Koolesque attempt to wrestle this worthless trinket away from Kuda."

"You think you're special because Kuda called you out? Truth be told it could have been you, it could have been Centurion, James Raven...it doesn't matter, Kuda was calling out the notion that you irrelevant and obsolete relics belong in the XWF today. Kuda has had ONE match in his XWF career and is already more memorable than you, which explains why you're so desperately pawing at him for the attention he refuses to show you. All Kuda had to do was mention your name once, and you developed Stockholm Syndrome like the rabid fanboy you are. You think people were talking about your return? That the XWF was abuzz at your pending arrival? You got less coverage that the fifth roll of flab on Gilmour's back when he applies sunscreen. Nobody cares about you, Fuzz. Nobody cares about Centurion. They care about Raven because he was handed the tag team title, but that's more of a pity thing."

"But don't worry, soon they'll pity you too. They'll see you stomping down the hallways shouting your list of blase accomplishments like a dementia patient arguing with his bowl of Alpha-Bits. They'll see you curled up with your tongue hanging out of your mouth while you desperately try to taste your own seed because you are very clearly the only one on your dick. But mostly, they'll just see an out-of-touch nobody trying to crank his own hype machine up only to fail miserably and be branded a loser before he even has a chance to step into the ring. Sad."

"Imagine our surprise when you rattled off ALL these things that you -used to be able to do- only to see you come out flaccidly swinging like a blind dwarf. You're a worthless antique and any organization that would list you in its top 50 of anything other than 'Most likely to die by phallus suffocation' should really take a long look in the mirror. And then, in the most ill-advised move in the history of guys pretending to not be-scared-shitless-but-already-in-too-deep, you decide to follow up with a somehow even MORE desperate ploy for affection. It's clear to the world that you want to lovingly nuzzle up to Kuda and what is surely and impressive member, but could you at least try to mask it? Maybe not look directly at his penis while those vibrating panties you have shoved up your asshole are working overtime?"

"Kuda gave you the only 15 seconds of fame you'll have in the XWF. Why'd you choose to waste them?"

Kuda kicks out.

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