Static.


Then a blinding flash.


And finally... picture and sound.


"Greetings and salutations XWF!"


"It is I - Azrael Erebus, your friendly neighborhood spaceman!"


"Coming through your media devices, whatever those items may be, with a message just for your eyes and ears. Don't you feel special? Well, you should because tonight, I'm going to do something I've never done before... not ever... not even once, in the history of my career here in the XWF. That's both past and present, thus far. I'm going to educate you on my past here. Somewhat anyway. You all should know I'm never one to brag. Not unless I'm talking specifically about myself or the things I can do both in and outside the bedroom anyway. These trinkets you hold so dear and cherish with all your might though... not so much. They mean nothing to me. They're bits of gold and leather. Nothing more or less. The true accomplishment that I enjoy is taking them away from the people... the humans, that hold them in such incredible value. I can only describe that feeling is being pretty damn ecstatic. The memory of the losing party after they've lost, well that's just priceless. Totally worth the bullshit that I went through in order to achieve the victory. And sometimes, something that I look back on and laugh about, to this very day. "


"I won't name, names because the intended party, isn't relevant anymore but if I did and I tossed on the fact that I achieved this victory with only one arm and being no taller than 5'9". You might be prone to a chuckle as well. However, that's pointless, really. For this message to you all isn't about that. No. Tonight is merely about enlightenment. Then I'll address Mandi Rider. Whom I'll be facing in two days. How exciting. I know. I can't wait for this to happen."


"I'm sure Vinnie Lane is practically salivating at the prospect of seeing what lies beneath the spaceman's clothes. This is the second time that he's stepped out of his way to have it done too. So I might as well be a good sport. He's all hot and bothered about it. Might as well throw the dog a bone, so to speak. Ironically because he does resemble a dog. I assume that's due to the fact that his prostitute mother conceived him with a Cocker Spaniel. I'm sure it was a beautiful moment too. Like Lady and the Tramp, except with a human female and a dog. I suppose that version would be called Whore and the Mutt. Ah... all in good fun, chap. All in good fun. Or not. Who's to say? It's really irrelevant by this point. Vinnie will just call me genderless. Then I'll point out the fact that the shape of his head isn't quite right. Seriously. That's not the shape of a human skull. Just look at that banner that's plastered everywhere of him and his hooker. Weird. His mother and his... girlfriend? Wife? Cock holster? I don't really know or care, what her title is to him but she's something that doesn't mind straddling that grotesque, mannequin looking freakshow. Anyway, his mother and that woman that he bangs, are both street walkers. Women of the night. I wonder if they have the bestiality factor in common? Curious."


"Anyway, enough with all that. Time for the illumination portion. Pay attention cause I'm only going to mention this once. Just for all of you out there too lazy to do the research. Here goes."


Azrael takes in an over emphasized deep breath and exhales loudly.


"I'm a..."


"Former 2x Universal Champ, 2x X-Treme Champ, 1x Television Champ... which was my longest title reign, lasting a whopping, 9 months 22 days, 2x Tag Team Champ, 3x Trio Champ, 2x United States Champ... that title was retired by me, so I was also the last US Champ and I've held the Heavy Metal Weight title. Who hasn't held the HMW title though? I am one of the few beings within this company to be a triple champion. US Champ, TV Champ and HMW Champ, all occurring at once, simultaneously. Oh and I've been declared Star Of The Month twice."


Azrael gasps and takes in a heavy breath as he holds up a single finger, while he composes himself. It takes a couple of moments but soon enough, the spaceman has accomplished the task and smirks directly at the camera. And really, at all of you.


"Now I'm in line for the Bombshell title."


"You know what though?"


"It's just another trinket to me. Bits of leather and gold. Nothing more. Sure, some of you might snicker and giggle... like little school girls, tee-heeing at the concept of me wielding that title but rest assured, as it has been and always will be, it really doesn't matter what you think. Truth. I have lived too long for that and have experienced things, beyond your wildest imagination. I'll still be here when you're nothing more than worm food. Do you really think a few words proclaimed by you will effect me? Ridiculous humans. I surpass you in every way possible, even when I lose in the ring. This whole match is just as much of a lark to me as it is to you."


"I will proudly claim that Bombshell title. I'll hold it up high and I'll do it with a full on erection. Because I don't wear underwear. That's right. You're all interested in what goes on under these trousers. On the 27th... I promise you, you will get an eyeful that you won't ever forget. Trust me. My cock is that fucking glorious and memorable. That's not bragging either. That's fact. I have never received a complaint and have never been turned down. Be it man, woman, beings that seem like both and others that seem like neither. Not once have I been rejected. Eh... of course, with the exception of Kendall Sawyer... but I suppose, everyone has to have one white whale. So there you have it. Should I be stripped of my clothes and Mandi Rider be declared the winner. You're all going to see a very naked spaceman. Should I win, well I'm simply going to drop my trousers and end the debate. Once and for all. So be prepared for that XWF. You will definitely behold space cock, one way or another."


"Okay then, now that all of that is settled. I'll move on to addressing Mandi Lane. Mandi. May I say it is extraordinary to see you again. True... we were never close, but seeing you as a bright shining star here in the XWF is a delight. You were always fierce and formidable in the ring. A deserving champion."


"Now, if I remember correctly. Back when I knew you... you were a siren. Having troubles with control. You even sought out my aid. To which I gladly gave because I never turn down someone seeking help. Just ask Ghost Tank. I made him fight a bear. I'm not sure how that helped him but deep, down within the very cockles of my heart, I know it did. He's the man he is today because of that one gleaming, instant that he fought a bear. Anyhow, the point is that I remember you from my past career and our brief personal history outside of the ring. Not sure what's been going on with you these days but I do hope that my services were helpful. If you claim to be a siren anymore or if something happened to change that, it's all foreign news to me. All I have is the past. Ancient history really. That's the information that I'm working with because I've been a tad busy, aiding Nathaniel Adolph Zachary Idenhaus, with a small issue that he was stricken with. Proud to say that problem was snuffed out. Before it turned into a full blown epidemic and the XWF became nothing more than a federation of werewolves."


"All besides the point. Nothing more than excuses. Words to be taken as you like. With that being the case, I must admit, in all honesty, this fight is a treat for me. I respect you as a fighter and I look forward to what this battle brings. Although, now that I disclosed that I go commando, I'm certain you don't feel the same. Rest assured. When I address my anticipation for combat, it is only in the sense of that. The actual fight that will be had and getting the opportunity to face someone as extremely versed in wrestling as you are, and have proven to be, time and time again. Well, it's an honor."


"I have no ill words for you. No trash talk. Just the statement that I will bring everything that I have to this fight. I won't hold back and I hope you will pay me the respect of doing the same. You are remarkable and proof that while this planet has proven to be a great ball of idiots and dullards, there are still sparks of greatness. Beings like you are why I stick around. It's absolutely worth it to wade through a million pieces of trash, just to encounter merely one extraordinary lifeform. However, I am fortunate to have come in contact, with hundreds. My prize for living as long as I have. Those hidden gems, stored away within the vast population of dum dums. It's what makes this planet and it's people worth my time and effort. I say this now because I want you to know that my words are never given lightly. Especially when delivered to another warrior."


"Enough chatter though. I've said all that I need to, the rest will be declared in combat."


"Ordinarily... Mandi, I would gloat and say that I'll see you at your loss. Instead, I shall leave you, with this. See you in the wrestling ring shaped, battle field, Mandi Rider."


"End Transmission!"

2x Universal Champion (First reign was less than a day though, lol. Due to Sebastian Duke cashing in his briefcase.)
2x Tag Team Champion
3x Triple Tag Team Champion
1x Television Champion
2x US Champion (Title retired during my second reign as champ.)
2x X-Treme Champion
1x Bombshell Champion
2x HMW Champion
2x SOTM