(ooc: I've been sick for what feels like three weeks straight. I thought I was over but I woke up today with a cough and a headache I had planned to do more, but I'm just not feeling it.)

Chapter One : Anjelleka

Sitting at her vanity looking into the mirror she examined her puffy red eyes. She had not stopped crying since the day EMO left weeks ago. The wounds were still very much fresh and her voice still raw from the screaming. Most would have told her that she needed to go out and be around others, but instead she did the opposite.

She hadn’t left the loft since the day EMO left. Her loft littered with the remnants of takeout food wrappers. Isolating herself from the rest of the world was the only way that she could really handle her issues. Most her life was spent alone trying to deal with everything herself. It wasn’t like she could pick up the phone and just make a phone call and someone would be their to console her in her time of need.

Her brother Jackson had been gone for quite sometime now and she had no idea of where to start looking for him. Could she call Nellie? They two hadn’t talked in almost four maybe five years at this point. She never really did keep up with the daughter of XWF legend Centurion anyway. That was her first crush. Her first love.

She slightly smiled thinking back, but it quickly faded.

There was her sister that she met a couple of times, but really what would her sister tell her? Again she hadn’t spoke to her in years.

With both of her parents also dead. Not that they would have been much help to her anyway. The constantly physical and emotional abuse that they caused her. It’s why EMO leaving hurt so much.

He was all she actually had. When she felt down she would go to him. Whenever she couldn’t take it anymore and was haunted by her demons. Waking up from the nightmares at night. EMO was right there next to her to make everything better.

The day her rabbit died, EMO was there for her.

Though now stuck in a situation where the only person that she felt like she could go to was the one that put her through this in the first place.

She grabbed her phone and took a couple of deep breathes. SInce the day he left she hadn’t tried to call him. Figuring that maybe a little bit of space would help him possible work whatever he was going through out. Going on about three weeks she was worried that she would lose him for good.

“Maybe he’s waiting for me.” She tried to convince herself. Scrolling through her contacts pressing his name.
She didn’t immediately make the phone call. Instead she once again looked at her face in the mirror while going over what she was going to say in her head. She figured that he probably wouldn’t answer and she would just leave a voicemail, but what if he was to answer?

Standing up she started to freak out a bit because of the thought. Pacing the loft she continued to psyche herself up and give herself the courage to make the call. Finally she did it and called him. The phone rang a couple times as she was helping that she would just get his voicemail.

“Hello?” She froze when she heard the voice on the other end. It wasn’t Gia’s voice that she heard. Immediately she hung up and fell to the floor. Again the feeling of heartache overwhelmed her as any type of progress she had made since he left was washed away.

---

I apologize that this will be all I have to say leading up to my match Wednesday against John Holliday. Valentine’s Day is coming up and being Dr. EMO this is the busiest time of year for me. It doesn’t help that I’ve felt like shit leading up to tomorrow night.

Plus it’s always hard to find the right things to say when you’ve been away for so long and don’t really have any knowledge of your opponents.

Though it’s felt good to be back. Even though i still feel like I still have plenty of rust that I need to knock off before I fully find myself in the ring again. It’s the best I’ve felt in awhile. Granted that was almost a month ago at this point.

I can’t really figure out why everything feels a little different this time around. Even with this being my second match since my return it just feels different than anything I did in the ring four or five years ago.

Maybe it’s the fact that I seem to actually care again.

Maybe it’s the fact that I’m not worried the company could close it’s doors at any moment.

Maybe It’s just I’ve accepted who I am at this point and finally got rid of the expectations.

Expectations.

For the longest time I believed that their were these expectations for me to become great. I started hot and only ended up burning out every step of the way. Really I don’t even know if the expectations were real. Maybe I just put them on myself?

Those expectations no longer exist and that’s probably what’s different this time around. Now I find myself in a position that I’m not used to. I was main eventing shows week after week. I’ve main evented ppvs.

Maybe I’m a lot more humble than I was then. I let my little bit of success go to my head and I thought I had already done all I could.

Whatever I caught is really kicking my ass. I think that’s going to be it. Just a little bit of self-reflecting. I think I’m just going to take a nap now.

I’ll see you wednesday.