Maaaaaaan…

Lemme tell y'all what happened to me earlier right..

So I'm walking down the street eating my daily bucket of Bojangles ya know? I mean dats how a nigga roll when you dis gucci winning all the matches. Y'all done seen me take over Savage and walk out victorious once again, makin fat stacks and peelin caps yo.

Anyways..

I'm just chewin chicken like I'm pussy lickin' and and dis FUGLY slut come at me like i'm Bearnie Flanders trying to get in my nigga Donnie Trump's white house again, yafeel?

You ain't gonna believe what dis bitch did. She ain't say a fuckin word, but throws a goddamn bucket of red shit all over me wndy chicken. I ain't gonna lie at first I thought she being cool and hit me wit a lil hot sauce so I take a big bite. I'm like “damn ma. Coulda aimed the motherfucker at da chicken.” Turns out that shit was ketchup..

BOI I WAS SO GODDAMN BENT. SHE DONE GOT ME 50 SHADES OF FUCKED UP..

She just starts screaming…

“MY NAME IS HOLLY AND IM THE LOCAL PRESIDENT OF FETA!”

I'm shook cause bitch obviously the president of some big cheese company round here..

Suddenly Louis phone rings..

Ello..

IM PINNED DOWN AND TAKIN FIRE NIGGA FUCKIN HAAAALP...DEY JUST FLOODING TO THE PROMO STUDIO LOUIE..

Louis looks perplexed..

What you talking about Sammy, you on drugs again bro?

OUR MATCH WIF BPLEX3..

Stop playin wit me nigga we ain't got no match..

YOU QUIT PLAYING WITH ME NIGGA..

So no shit we got a match..

YEAH..

Maaaaaaan…

Lemme tell you what happened earlier..

I came to New Orleans for chicken and dis bitch threw ketchup on me, so I'm not gonna make no match bruh..

The sound of Sammy's turds hitting the ground in sequence with the sound of a Sammy's heart finally seizing from his addiction to butter can be heard as the screen goes black.