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~~Sid Feder~~ · (06-28-2013)

:3 x Better:
Holy mother of fucking god is this the most horrific trainwreck I ever did lay my Three Times Better Eyes on.

Swift Ion?

What ---- The ---- Fuck is a Swift Ion? A bitch that sucks so fucking much that you've got to keep a "swift eye on" him to make sure he doesn't lose the match while you're blinking? Yeah -- that sounds about right.

Andrew Morrison? The hell? What fucking backed up sewer did you end up floating up out of and washing over to XWF shores? Go clean yourself up; ya look like you've been sucking so much dick that you forgot to wash your hair for about 6 weeks straight. HEH -- "straight" -- a word you probably don't know much about from the looks of ya, eh pal?

Scott Charlotte? Wraith? Untalented hack who can't back his shit up so he puts an ugly ass fuckin' pillow case over his head in hopes that if he shakes violently enough while growling, we'll shit our panties? Uhhhhh sorry bud, but you do realize we're all grown ups here, right? Fuck a Wraith; with or without the colostoamy bag over his busted up grill!

John Austin? From what I've noticed on television it sounds like this Lost Boy lookin' freak has thought up one of Thee most original slogans in wrestling history. He's . . . he's . . . he's the Best In The World! You know who else used to say that shit around here? If you guessed CM Punk you guessed wrong, just like when you guessed you had a shot at gold by rewording your lackluster performances to sound impressive. Nice try shit for brains, but guess what -- THREE TIMES BETTER Sid Feder will take your "Best In The World" line, snap that shit right in half, and then shove both halfs deep into your coroated little pupils, you worthless fucking maggot.

Who else?

WHO the fuck else?

Hunter Payne? Braggin' about passing out instead of having enough brains to actually tap out? I'm sorry, dip shit, but if you got beat so bad that you were left unconscious then you just caused more damage to yourself permanently than if you'd've had the f'n brains to just give the fuck up. I don't even know what match you're talking about because I've never heard of you -- or most of you guys for that matter -- in my Three Times Better Life. Maybe that's for the best because from the looks of it I'd wipe my ass with the lot of you, ball you up, and then sell you on e-bay like you were that badass Bin Laden toilet paper complete with its own shit. And you know what? I bet I wouldn't get more than 3 bucks for you all. Every last one of you makes me so sick I could spit up my lunch from three days ago which should be physically impossible to do!

Dean McGovern? I guess you're the European.. you're the.. you're.. I just can't bring myself to say that shit! You look like you're the European Cum Guzzler from fuckin' Mars and shit! What the hell weird ass corner of the world did you end up getting scraped out of before you ended up here in the XWF? How about you just forfeit your belt so you don't have me punt kicking that little boy off of your tiny dick and de-dick-atating you in the process you pony boy lookin' pop tart bitch!

Who else? Who else that matters?

Oh hey! John Madison!

How's you're back, you sniveling little rat fucker? You still running around talking about Flo all the time? Why don't you show all these worthless ass losers your back. Explain to them just why in the fuck you have been permanently branded with "The Feders Were Here" with an arrow pointing down to your asshole? Explain yourself, you bent over buttfuck doll. Show them all your scars and let them know who their next king is.

Paul Heyman -- I'd suggest you get your jaw picked up off the ground. I'll wait.

Still waiting -- pick up those double chins too, bitch.

Alright, good! Now book me in this fucking match or I shoot you in your fucking face.

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