The shot opens in a quaint middle class home. Engy's sitting in the dining room. There's a “Live. Laugh. Love” placard on the wall just behind him. To his left a shelf is adorned with Hummel figurines. Yes, they still make those little guys you saw in your Grandma's house. Who knew? There's even goddamn doilies on the dining room table. Doilies!

And Engy? Even he looks like he made an effort to clean himself up. His hair stubble looks like it may have been washed. He's wearing a smoking jacket and puppy slippers. What the hell is going on?

I done got domesticated!

Oh. Well, at least he looks happy.

Hey Chris. Tryin' somethin' new here. Oh, I almost forgot! All the cool kids are putting music and shit in their promo's so I probably should too.

Engy pulls out a cell phone, likely purchased with your tax dollars. He starts stabbing his finger at the screen, but before long seems to be having some trouble. He whines in a frustrated fashion, and then pulls a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. He unfolds it on the table and whatever is on it appears to help him resolve the issue. He gets the phone working and puts the phone down on the table. It starts to play the sounds of pigs being butchered on an infinite loop.



Engy allows himself a relaxed “sigh” before continuing.

I gotta say Chris, these new drugs the doc gave me? Fan-fucking-tastic. I've never seen things so clearly! I know what I want now! I mean, before my mind was just one big jumble of shit. But for the first time in my life, I feel good, ya know? Really, really good. I mean, sure, I sometimes I see snakes with eyes of fire crawlin' out the walls, but ya gotta take the good with the bad.

So, yeah, you said a lot of stuff. Most of it about ol' Engy was true. I did shit my pants today. But not because I found out I was facin' you cuz I already knowed that. Which, I'm kinda confused 'cuz you said I probably didn't even know I was facin' you. But you responded to me talkin' about facin' you. Now I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, but even I can tell that's pretty . Are you sure you ain't ? You might wanna get checked out. I know a nice lady down at the social security office who could help.

You also said ol' Engy ain't done shit in XWF yet. I reckon that's true too. But that ain't a fair comparison! You been here a lot longer than me! Had more time to worm your way into the cracks here, face all those top guys. That's kinda like askin' somebody who just came to the party why they ain't drunk yet.

Whoa, I just did one of those, uhhhhh, anal-ology things! I LOVE THESE DRUGS!

Good job, Engy.

You said a whole bunch a other stuff too, but I got bored and stopped watchin'. Why you gotta spend so much time tryin' to tell people how much you're gonna win if you're so sure of it? Plus, I don't even know who this Travis guy is. How could I talk about somebody I don't know?

Chris, are you really, really sure you ain't 'tarded?

Well, one thing I do know is that you're borin'. You say all the same shit everybody else does and it sucks. But at least you know some cool people. Tell Pigeoneater Pat and Rufus that Engy says hi. Was Stinky Pete there, or did the rotgut finally get 'im? Poor guy. He could never shit right. He did teach me how to fight though. Stuff like spittin' your own blood in people's eyes, ohhhh that really freaks 'em out. I'll probably do that to you, Chrissy boy. A doctor once told me I got lotsa letters in my blood. Like A and C. I don't remember the rest. Point is, you should probably get tested after I fuck you up next week.

Engy gets up from the table and goes to the counter, where a mug reading “#1 Dad” is waiting for him. He picks it up and takes a sip.

[lime]Ahhhhh. If Schlitz isn't the finest beverage on God's green Earth I don't know what is.

He takes the mug with him and starts ambling into the living room. But before we even fully enter the room we can just barely make out an odd sound. It sounds like a whimpering. The camera pans the entire room, revealing the source of the disruption: “Pinkie Pie” is tied up and laid out on the floor. A disgusting looking wash cloth has been wedged in his mouth. He's looking pretty rough too, dried caked on blood is matting his hair to his scalp, and his cheeks are punctuated with deep bruises. Engy plops down in the recliner at Pinkie's Pie's head, and he starts nudging the furry with the puppy face on his slipper.

Another good thing about these drugs is that it's helpin' me see WHO'S FUCKING LYING TO ME!

Engy leans over and screams the last part into “Pinkie Pie's” ear, causing him to wince and whimper anew.

Like this little shitbag, all this time tellin' me he's the real Pinkie Pie when he's just some guy in a Pinkie Pie suit. Little fucker!

”Pinkie Pie” starts to try to speak through the gag. Engy rolls his eyes.

Now what? If you scream I'm putting the needles under your finger nails again.

Engy removes the rag from his mouth.

My mom's gonna be home in like a half hour! Please just let me go and I won't say anything to anyone, swear to God!

What the fuck do I care if your mom comes home? This is my house now.

...huh?

Yeah, I talked to Uncle Donald and made it happen. I own this place now.

How?!

Fuck if I know, do I look like I'm in reality estate? Don't choke on your own vomit.

Engy forces the crusty rag back into the hapless dork's mouth again. He looks back up at the camera, clearly pleased with himself.

That part's true by the way. I'm a home owner now! Suck on that Chrissy! No more gettin' bitched at by Madison for leaving the toilet seat up or waffling a turd down the drain in the shower for me!

But ya might be askin' yourself, “Engy, why get yourself a house? Ya don't seem like the settlin' down type.” And that's where your wrong!

He takes a sip of Schlitz before continuing.

It's actually been my dream my whole life to be able to settle down. Get married. Raise a family. You know, THE AMERICAN DREAM! Ya'all take the ability to have a normal life for granted. But not ol' Engy. I know just how special that is. And I know that to truly make a house a home, ya need somebody special to share it with.

And that's where you come in Jenny Myst.

Now, I know! I know! It's a tough sell! I ain't exactly normal. But I can be, Jenny. I can be. Close your eyes baby, picture it with me.

Engy closes his eyes and draws in a deep breath.

You're home with the kids, givin' 'em each a hug as they come bouncin' off the bus. Oh, but they are adorable little scamps. Little Betsy and Dexter Junior. Betsy just lost her last baby tooth at school, she shows it ta ya all proud of herself. You promise her the tooth fairy is comin' tonight with a crisp dollar bill under her pillow. And Dexter Jr.? First place at the science fair. Oh, he ain't like his daddy, he's smart one! Takes after his mom.

Jenny, you got dinner all ready for when I get home. I come in the door and the kids run up to me, one on each leg. “Daddy, I love you!” they says. Then I says, “Dinner sure smells great honey!” and you come up and give me a kiss and say, “Engy darling it's your favorite! Chicken Alfredo straight from the box!”

Its dinner time now, and we all hold hands and say grace. Dinner is really good Jenny, you did a great job, babe. You help the kids with their homework while I go mow the lawn. We both tuck the kids in bed, kiss 'em goodnight on the forehead and check under the bed for monsters. “Monster's ain't real” I tells 'em.

Monsters ain't real....

He repeats this in a hushed tone, eyes going far away before he abruptly snaps back into the present.

And now it's night time and it's grown up time and baby, I've had you on my mind all day. Those creamy thighs. Those big bouncin' tits. That plump ass with each cheek just the right size for holdin'. I slide in under the covers next to ya and start kissin' ya on your neck like ya like. But ya don't do anythin' back, ya just kinda lay there. I look over and your eyes are kinda teary like.

“What's wrong baby? I said dinner was good.”

But it ain't dinner, is it? No, it ain't. That's when all the hard words start comin'. Words like “settled” and “trapped”. You ain't sure you're attracted to ol' Engy anymore, but ya stuck it out for the kids and now you resent me for that. Ya don't even like it when I touch ya anymore! But I been thinkin' about ya all day and I'm ready to go and we ain't done it for like a week! How's a man supposed to go that long, huh Jenny? Ya fuckin' TEASE!

Engy starts to tremble with rage. “Pinkie Pie” starts to scoot away from him with fear in his eyes.

So yeah, I force ya to Jenny! I FORCE YA! I ain't proud of it and I swear baby I'll never do it again! But I come home the next day and there's a note on the fridge I can't even FUCKIN' READ but I don't need to. I know you're gone....I know....

FUCK!!!!

Engy swats at the mug. It rockets across the room and explodes against the wall. He leans over, putting his head in his hands, still trembling. Finally, he looks up and ashy black tears stain his face.

But we can save this though, Jenny. It don't have to end this way. We can sit on that porch out there and hold hands as Aiwass burns the world away. Because Aiwass is comin', oh yes he is. And even if ya can't bring yourself to love me, I'm the only thing that can save you. Not Chris Chaos. Not nobody else. Me. So if nothin' else, baby....

...come with me if ya wanna live.

The sounds of a car pulling up into the drive way are heard. “Pinkie's Pies” eyes go wide, it would seem like mommy is home early.

Well, looks like it's time to break the news to her. But bein' homeless ain't so bad. I should know! I just hope she don't do anything foolish. She won't do that, will she?

”Pinkie Pie” looks at Engy pleadingly as the keys start rattling in the door. Engy balls up a fist as the shot abruptly cuts to black.

ELSEWHERE....

The esteemed Dr. Bennie is there, but where exactly is difficult to determine. The room is black as pitch, it's only illumination is test patterns on a series of nine screens in front of him. He's sitting in a simple wooden highbacked chair. He pulls off his trademark red and blue shades, inspecting the lenses for smudges.

One by one, the test patterns start to disappear from the screens, and in each one a hooded figure appears, kinda like this one....



As soon as the eerie visages began to pop onto the screens, Bennie instantly straightens up in his seat and replaces the sunglasses.

Ah! Muab'Dei nox aeterna!

**All in unison**NOX AETERNA.

Bennie shifts in his seat a bit.

Should I....ah, should I stand...or?

One of the hooded figures speaks.

It is not necessary. But our time is short so make your update brief.

Of course. I have given the avatar the first round of Algernon. But it will be some time before the effects truly started to take hold.

So he is still an imbecile?

This hooded figure had an oddly familiar sounding voice, like maybe something you've heard on the news before...?

For the time being, yes. But you have to understand these are complicated neurobiological processes we're talking about here and...

Another figure cuts him off. This one is a female with a familiar sounding twangy voice.

Female: Well how long's it gonna take? I mean, its just a buncha pills right? My Xanax's kick in like that! **she snaps**

With all due respect this isn't Xanax, it's a highly experimental agent and...

Another one chimes in, this one with a French accent.

My mistress is going to be here in like 5 minutes so can we hurry this up?

Yet another calls out.

NO IDENTIFYING INFORMATION!

French one: Sorry, sorry.

Dr. Bennie looks a tad annoyed, but proceeds.

As I was saying, Algernon is a highly complex compound, but we should start to see the effects on IQ in maybe two months.

Female: Two months?! Why I could slaughter a whole herd a moose in...

Angry One: NO IDENTIFYING INFORMATION!

Yet another hood speaks up. This voice sounds REALLY familiar!

Really Familiar Hood: I think what my companions are trying to say is that we thank you very much for your efforts, and if there is any further support we can give you feel free to call on us.

In fact it sounds like...

NO IDENTIFYING INFORMATION!

Sorry.

I will keep you all well abreast of the avatar's progress. But at this point, with so many x-factors at work, his exact responses to the compound are not an, erm, exact science. So please bare with me. We're all learning this together. I will say this though. After interviewing him, I am more confident than ever that he is the avatar we seek. This man will surely be the death of us all. Praise Aiwass.

**All in unison**BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD.

Blood for the blood God, indeed.