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DeathMerchant · (06-22-2013)

Battling the Inferiority Complex
And what a mighty one it is!

We open with a shot of Neonero laid back on a sofa, giggling to himself as he watches Satoshi Daiki's promo on his tablet. Opposite him sits his PA Norris Cole, who looks a bit chirpier than earlier...Cole can't see the tablet screen but something about his demeanour implies he knows what's coming.

Ahh Norris...what do you think to that? Mask on or mask off for this guy?

Well, I...

On the one hand, that promo was the saddest thing I’ve seen in a long time. I almost want to go over and give old Satoshi a hug. And on the other, he just broke so many rules that I want to introduce him to the Torching of Rome a little early...what do you think Norris? Good cop or Bad cop?

Good cop is more fun...

Right, right, but Bad cop is just so much more to the point. 어떻게 해...

Yin yang perhaps?

Oh Norris, I could kiss you. What a perfect metaphor. The yin yang. Let’s go. First of all, since we’re here, mask on.

Nero turns to the camera, and we zoom in so that we see only Nero in profile, nothing out of shot whatsoever. He sits forward, elbows on his haunches, tilting his head aside, a grin permeating from beneath the mask.

Satoshi, dear Satoshi, you seem to be a little inconsistent. You don’t know a simple word like inane, yet you pick up an English dictionary – not a English – Japanese dictionary – and you read off all the synonyms as if you know them already. Including several words many times longer and less used than the word inane. I just wonder if you didn’t just put a foot outside what you want us to believe you are? I mean, when you speak it sounds like perfect English. Not broken English. Not Japanese infused English. No grammatical mistakes in your speech. You paint this picture of a guy who’s lost in America trying to be Bruce Lee trying to adjust, and yet you stand before us speaking the King’s English. Maybe it’s inane of me to pull you apart on this, but what did you expect?

Norris inhales deeply as Nero slowly removes his mask, his eyes darken slightly for a moment, as they glance down at the mask, but as they rise up at the camera again they burn with a deep cyan hued fire.

Sir, remember this is Wednesdays...

Oh I will Norris. I will mind my cuss words.

Nero sneers at the camera, simultaneously winking in what is a hideous combination of expressions. Out of shot Norris Cole mumbles something and falls off his chair, but Nero makes no attempt to readjust his gaze from the camera.

Mr Dookie – oh I’ll refer to you as that when the mask’s off, ironically its aptly Inane but in truth I use it because I’m not able to use more profane words here. So Dookie it is – Dookie because when I look at you, I’m reminded of that time I took a dook after a particularly spicy Indian meal. No, it wasn’t a long, tall dook like you might expect me to say. I mean, you’re certainly tall, and certainly long in the mouth – I bet that chin of yours requires its own overhead compartment when you fly...

Nero pauses, looking with a grin across the room.

Ah Norris, I’m so in this inane thing I can’t even stick to the serious side. Let me psyche myself up.

Nero closes his eyes, inhaling deeply and leaning his head backwards, then suddenly snaps it forward.

No, you’re a sloppy mess of diarrhoea. Sloppy from corn hole to toilet bowl. But instead of painting ugly pictures, let’s break down what a joke you are. Starting with this ‘Asians stick together’ nonsense. I don’t believe you’re a naturalised Asian. The fact you’d have this idea of ‘Koreans and Japanese’ sticking together tells me that you have not apricot one knowledge of your nation, my nation, or the history they share together. I can say this without being racist, because these are not my views. But Japanese and Koreans in general don’t like each other. Just like the English and the French. Funny how I have dual nationality and know both those things, and you have single – supposedly – nationality. And slip up at such a rudimentary well known fact...are you here under the false pretence of some race war I'm unaware of? I want to mention Hirohito here but I have the depressing realisation dawning on me - you wouldnt even know who that is.

Nero smirks again, nodding to himself.

Of course, nationality is irrelevant here. Two things shine through in every word you say. Firstly, you are either wildly deluded or a complete simpleton. And second, you have a major inferiority complex. And it’s this inferiority complex that amuses me the most. You are determined to cling to this idea you’re a noble lone stallion in a foreign land, clawing at the system and achieving things ‘for your herd’. No I don't think horses move in herds, but I wanted to stick vaguely to the metaphor – call me inane if you will.

Nero winks.

But thanks to your simpleton subconscious mind, you fail to notice where you are. You are in the bleeping XWF. Home of just about every kind of personality you could imagine. Not only that, you are sat on the one show that is designed specifically to appeal to a worldwide market and give equal opportunities to all. And you want to sit crying that an Asian man has to act like he’s in Enter the Dragon to get respect? Faces don’t determine success, faces don’t determine skill, faces don't determine a thing other than marketability, and we have had some of the least marketable faces imaginable running around here with gold. You’re a dolt Dookie. A real mother humming dolt. Your only true battle is with your self esteem and this bizarre inferiority complex you saddled yourself with when you boarded a plane and came here. Or maybe it was a pre-existing thing? Somehow I don't struggle to imagine baby Dookie not having a great life. So he decided that he’d get into bodybuilding, wear a white suit around so that people would think he was an extra from a 1980’s gangster flick and pay him no serious mind. Then when that wasn’t enough you decided to get into wrasslin’ because in your head, you thought it was this great and honourable sport.

Nero pauses, chuckling to himself, and placing the mask over his crotch. For a moment you’d swear it winked at the camera.

Well let me tell you Dookie, your preconceived ideas about Wrestling may be true elsewhere. It may be that you rose through the rank of vanilla midgets and giants. It may be that you fought in the show matches beneath the MMA bouts on some K1 shows. Actually scratch that, I doubt you even know what K1, Dream or Pride FC are, you probably think they’re baseball teams. Dookie, this is the XWF, think of this more as the woodshed your father used to take you outside to a little too often, rather than the squeaky clean chapel of honour and sportsmanship you have in your deluded mind. If you want to come in here and be the good guy, you wont last long. Hey, you might gain a good record. I mean look at KnightMask. That guy was what, 10-3? 10-4? When I faced off with him last week. But I had no problem breaking his back over my knee. I would have no problem breaking yours, Dookie. In fact, your words and the sense of pity that they brought to my stomach...

Nero screws up his face as if he’s just eaten a lemon.

Oh, there's lemon in you boy. You’re the first person to make me sour. But not sour about my life. Sour about YOUR life. Imagine that. I tell people I’ll make them sour about their lives. You are the first cu- oops, you’re the first walking talking Dookie to actually make ME sour about YOUR life. Taking you to the woodshed will not be a task for me, Dookie. It will be something I do with a sense of duty. People thought Old Yeller was a sad story, well wait til they hear about the sad little ego that was deflated with one knee.

Nero bursts into laughter now, clapping with excitement.

I don’t just beat people, here, Dookie! Sometimes I lose too! You know why that makes me different to you?

Nero’s face again snaps from humour to serious in an instant.

No, not because 'I'm a loser and you're a winner'. If you keep that attitude you're going to be in for a real culture shock - get it? here pretty soon. No, it’s because I don’t derive the majority of my fun here from winning and losing. Or from chasing golden trinkets. I’ve done the championship thing here already. Oh I know there’s more gold out there and I will grab it if the whim takes me. But it’s not these things that entertain me most. What entertains me is confusing people like you. Seeing you hit me with all you have, and then the expression on your face when you look down at me and I am laughing in your face.

Nero bounces the mask up and down with his hips; bear in mind it’s still located over his crotch. This is a bizarre image which we might not be able to burn off our retinas for some time.

Some have asked me if I’m a sadist. Whether I get out leathers and whips in my free time and have my self a jolly old time being dominated or dominating some poor soul. But none of that floats my boat. It’s not that I enjoy pain. Because anyone can say they enjoy pain, after all everything is down to perception. As someone once said in a film you wouldn't know of, 'you can never attain true pleasure without experiencing exquisite pain'.

Nero picks up the mask now, looking it in the eyes, then nods as if it’s spoken to him, returning his cold gaze to the camera.

You’re looking at someone who can control his physical barriers a little better than most. No, that doesn’t mean you cant knock me out and pin me. It doesn't make me infallible. What that means, is that when we’re both worn and torn in the ring, when we’re both spent physically, every muscle and sinew in your body aches, your face screwed up in pain, you’ll look across the ring at me, maybe just as spent, with an smile on my face. And you will never know what I have left in my tank, because as much as your style may make me limp, I’ll keep smiling. I’ll shuffle my butt across the ring and make you cripple the other leg too.

Nero suddenly places the mask back over his face, and smiles sweetly. A little too sweetly.

Of course, I’m not saying I will let you break my legs. It’s much more likely I will break your spine, but I have to be charitable, this show has sponsors. If I let on how out of your depth you are, I may cost Mr. Witasick a fair wedge of cash, and I don’t need a pay cut any more than you need testosterone tablets. Oh, I assume you take those, that or some substance I am not able to mention. That ripped torso, unnatural muscle mass, small package - sorry for noticing that by the way, its not an Asian joke, it’s a well known side effect of taking steroids. None of it fits with a man of your height, well, unless you have some medical condition I’ve never heard of, or are just a freak of nature like Andre was. We all know how he ended though, despite being loved universally he was a well known alcoholic and died because his heart was never designed to support his frame.

A tilt of the head.

Bear that in mind when you’re stood opposite me, Satoshi San. I may stand an inch taller than you but your muscle mass is probably three times mine. Oh, yes, I’m being inane.

Nero claps joyfully, bouncing in his seat.

Isn’t it fun looking at someone and pulling something out of your backside? You know, like you attempted when you criticised my self christened title ‘Thane of Inane’, pecking at it somewhat like watching a small dog barking at a pit-bull. No, no British Bulldog analogy here. The metaphor here is simple; you’re a small dog in the big dog’s yard. You have no idea what the hierarchy here is, you have no idea what you’re messing with. A pit-bull would eviscerate a small dog were it unleashed, and the stupid little dog would never see it coming. You’re the small dog, and you don’t know what you’re toying with in this yard. You just best hope I’m domesticated, and only respond with a warning shot across the bow, rather than a feral cu-damn it, a feral son of a bitch, that’s not swearing, I’m being a dog. Because a feral dog wont stop at dominating you, it will rip you limb from limb.

Nero chuckles, slapping both knees at the same time and winking across the room at Norris.

Luckily for you I look at you with pity and not contempt. But I would strongly, strongly advise that next time you speak you do so with a degree of forethought, because testing my leniency? Not a game you want to play.

Nero shrugs, throwing his hands up in the air.

I tire of considering you now, so I bid you good day.

I said good day.

We fade

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