Closing time in whatever town Danny Sex lives in. Probably in someplace stupid like Rhode Island or Indiana. Someplace where there aren't really any good men and all the women are chubby and cock hungry because all the guys around them are bad in bed. Not like Tennessee, where Bilbo lives, because every vag in a 20 mile radius of Bilbo's apartment is in a permanent state of cream pie.


"Hi, I'm here for the rape class."


Bilbo's motorized wheelchair clunks into the glass door of the strip mall storefront, preventing the broad-shouldered woman from closing it all the way.


Thicc Woman: "Oh, sorry, it's four o'clock... everything in Shithole, Lamestate closes early because we're all lazy rednecks who get food stamps anyway. Come back tomorrow?"


"Nah, I'm rock hard, we gotta do this now."


Bilbo rams his scooter into the door again, harder. The woman recoils a bit because she's afraid the glass might break. Her eyes twitch in the direction of her nearby purse, which probably has some pepper spray in it because Boy Scouts are Always Prepared, even if they are trannies.


"Guys, she's made us. I need help because I'm crippled as fuck."


Bilbo pulls out a rape whistle with his twisted baby arm, but it's not that kind of rape whistle, it's the kind that assists with rape. When he blows it a really high pitched sound comes out and all of the dogs that were eating trash around the strip mall look up. Then, Dewey Gobblecoque, Gaylord Cockshafer, and Bilbo's son Smack rush the door and push the stocky woman into the store. Bilbo struggles to get his wheels over the small rise in the doorframe, but eventually succeeds.


"Dewey, you close and lock the door."


Dewey: "You're literally right there in front of it. All you have to do is turn that knob."


"I AM FUCKING HANDICAPPED! HOW DARE YOU!"


Dewey: "Jesus, fine, whatever. I got it."


So Dewey then leaves Smack and Gay to hold the obvious former softball player of a woman down on the floor, where she struggles and tries to get free but she can't, because even above average-strength women are inferior to just an average man lol.


Dewey locks the door.


"Great. Now get my dick out of my pants, I am absolutely bursting at my fly here."


Dewey: "Ed, I really don't want to..."


"Don't call me Ed, we're obviously on camera here. This is official XWF business and you have to call me by my ring name. Start over, and hurry up. My balls are just aching here."


Dewey: "Fine. Bilbo. Please don't make me pull your cock out for you. You can do it. You do it all the time. Your first day in the XWF HQ you pulled it out like seven different times."


"Fuck you, Dewey! You are my certified support animal, and I am a handicapped person. You are obligated to help me, and I need help pulling my massive, swollen dick out of my jean shorts so I can rape this handsome woman. Now do it, or you'll get fired again."


Dewey looks troubled but he gets on his knees like he was trained to do and wrangles Bilbo's turgid unit out of his fly. It wriggles like it has a mind of its own but its probably just because of Bilbo's obvious muscular dystrophy.


"Great. Now fluff it for a minute while I take one more Viagra just in case. I hate when I go soft mid-rape. It makes it like rape is bad or something, which is stupid because rape is obviously the best. Gay, Smack, please flip that female linebacker over onto her stomach and spread her asshole open. We're doing this in the butt."


Bilbo, cock out, wheels closer to the squirming rape defense instructor in preparation to rape her dry asshole.

---

---

---

"Hey Freshmaker.


I see you finally started using the nickname I gave you, which is good since I picked it due to Mentos being the exact size and shape of your useless peen. But then you tried to be creative and cut me down using bad trash talk, which is stupid because I'm the best ever at trash talking other people. That's something I'm really good at, along with forcible rape, and that you're obviously really bad at, along with regular male-female sex. Because you keep failing at the sex part really badly. I don't think you actually know what heteronormative means even though you say it 12 times in every promo you record. But when you have sex with women who started as men, those aren't actually women. Those are guys. Which would mean you aren't doing anything heteronormative at all, you're actually just being a huge .


Nothing's wrong with banging trannies, Freshy, just ask Barney Green or Peter Gilmour. They both bang transsexual ladyboys all the time. Barney says so whenever anyone asks, and we've seen dozens of promos where Gilly has sex with Rose Smith or Mia Yim or Maria Brink, all of whom were born as or currently still are men. Again, that's totally fine, but it isn't heteronormative. Heteronormative would be like the rape I just perpetrated on that woman from your first promo. I mean assuming she's a real woman and not a post-op. I didn't see a scar when I was raping her, but I did do it in her butthole so I might have missed it. She cried like a woman though, so I'm assuming she's a real one. So yeah, heteronormative, like man on woman rape, not like man on tranny gay sex. You get it now, right?


You know, I was watching old XWF DVDs yesterday and I was just thinking about how literally every single one of those guys could beat your useless ass in a match at literally any time if they were still around. Even guys who weren't that great like Dr. Emo or Chasm or Darren Zirado. Oh wait, both of those last two are still around. You shouldn't get in the ring with them, Freshy, they'll beat you pretty bad. Scott Charlotte would probably kill you. Sean Graves and Kore, too. Really anyone who has ever been in the XWF from 1999 all the way to 2017 would win if you were their opponent, I don't really understand why you're even trying. Are you a masochist? Is that your real fetish and not trying to squish your limp tiny wiener into transsexual surgically made vaginas?


You know it isn't actually sex if you don't get it in because it's too soft or too small, right? That's dry humping at best, or maybe wet humping if your baby nugget can actually cum. Do you cum, Freshmaker? Not that milky saline solution you obviously pump into your bladder before your promos, that's not real. I mean actual human ejaculate that usually can impregnate a cis-woman but in your case is probably just full of more bad swimmers than a public pool in a black neighborhood.

Oh my god, Freshy, are you a virgin? If you never really got it in you're a virgin. Not a butt version, since you definitely like to take dicks in your pooper like you will in the ring tomorrow night, but a virgin anyway. Does your foreskin grow back if you don't have sex into your mid-forties? Do your nuts dry out and start making sounds like maracas when you walk?


I hope your balls are okay, Freshmaker. I don't want them to die like a pack of sea monkeys that no one ever puts into the water. You should dunk them into a glass of milk and see if that helps, since it's the closest thing to pussy they'll ever get near.


Anyway talk to you soon. Try not to get anyone else raped, okay? Bye."

pin