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JimCaedus · (04-05-2017)

I kick out of the small package and rise to my feet before kicking the guy in the ribs. I don't bother dusting myself off as I've been quite used to being in the dirt for far too long and...old habits die hard.

Who the fuck...

Calypso rises and moves to attack again before I hold up a warning finger halting him and pull out my phone. I snap a photo of my attacker and run a search while I catch my breath. I identify the culprit.

"Cal...Ypso? Christ what a fuckin' amateur. That's a shitty fuckin' name and you should feel like an idiot for havin' it. Truth be told it's such a bad name I find myself infuriated to the point I'm currently trying very hard not to grab your sac, twist and rip it off before tossin' it over to good ol' JR like a velvet pouch o' polished rocks. 'BAH GAWD,' he'll say, 'that man COULD'VE had a fam-' and that's where he'll fall silent realizing who it is he's describing. Cal...you are beat as FUCK, bro. I mean by Beelzebub's big blazing brick red balls you are hard to squint at in the light, dickhead. Fuck the light, a blind hooker would keep her distance. Seriously, that visage is all sorts of wrong but...chin up, there IS hope. I hear a point blank double barrel blast to the face will clear that right up.

Wait, wait...did you call me a fucking dick? You're right, I forgot the fine print reads 'when you succeed, make sure to slack off'. Tell me, Cal Ypso, ya fuckin' Mr. Mxyzptlk lookin' prick, what exactly is it about me that would lead anyone to believe I'm being a dick? For fucksake, I've got people tellin' me to stop bein' so insecure of my ability, people making fun of my backstage cordiality and now I've got you claiming people think I'm being a dick? For what, trying my best? For taking my career and the XWF seriously? I'm to blame for my rostermates nominating me for OTM accolades? Listen, cocksucker, I'm trying to put my life back together. You're prancin' around in fresh threads you chose from a full fuckin' warddrobe, I don't even have a motherfuckin' home let alone enough clothing to justify anything beyond my cartoonish way of having to appear in the same shit every episode, asshole. Yeah I know, 'how can I be a paid multi champ without a home or at least a really nice trash bag fulla kick ass gear', right? I've spent enough time in poverty, pussy, it's called saving up enough to ensure that shit never happens to me again while enjoying brass hotel bookings. Are you telling me I don't deserve to turn my life around? You telling me I should let some gap-toothed jealous jag-off like you take food offa my table and money outta my account? Fuckin'

, I should wrench those spaced chiclet incisors out with my fingers and replant 'em properly with a meat tenderizer. I'm grateful for everything I earn and receive in the XWF, I work hard for what I accrue. The fuck do you do? Nothing in pursuit of your own success while you phone in a half-assed half-asskissing critique to cut me down? Tell whoever sent you you failed, fuckstick."

I put all my weight behind a powerful shove that sends Calypso backpedaling like a geek into an alleyway where he crashes into a couple trash cans winding up on his ass covered in used condoms, dirty syringes and Crimson Dong's fecal feast leftovers. A passing trio of large breasted hot college chicks stop to point and laugh at Cal cruelly before continuing on their way.

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