NKWC rolls a shoulder off the ground!

"...The match was on Saturday. 48 hours ago. The fuck do you mean, 'post'?"

"Like, 'post' the results on xwf.com? Can you not afford fucking DIRECTV to watch it live? Wait, sorry. Public Access star. Of course you can't afford basic amenities."

"Sorry I was in the fucking hospital with respiration issues and unconsciousness. I GOT FUCKING HUNG ON A ROPE BY A MISSISSIPPI MORON. I HAD TO RELEARN HOW TO WALK AS MY SEMI-FUNCTIONING LUNGS LEARNED MY LIMBS WEREN'T GONE FOREVER."

"My bad if I had to remember my victory by RECOVERING REPRESSED MEMORY. What the fuck is your excuse?"

"Yeah, I won. I got lynched BECAUSE I won. Because you garbage Americans so desperately want to silence me. Even after North Korea wins, you whine like a rotten, ill-tempered child and cry no fair, the Sun was in your eyes."

"Don't like my methods? X-Treme rules, shithead. Blame Peter Gilmour for not bringing fire to a flag burning match."

"Don't like that the USA lost? Fuck you."

"It's a W in the books and don't you fucking forget the day a filthy, emaciated North Korean won 3-vs-1 and burnt the stars and stripes into cinders. The better red, white and blue flew that night."

"How am I the one who was legally dead for 3 minutes Saturday and you're the one having auditory hallucinations."

"I'm speaking perfect English, fuckwad. You want to talk accents?"

Pictured below, vocal simulations of Jerkbeast's accent as if read as text.

"How am I supposed to hear this shit clearly? Your words slur together like the Micro Machines guy crawled inside a tequila bottle, your words rush and compress so tight that consonants bleed into each other."

"ANY TIME YOU TRY TO SAY THE LETTER 'L' I HAVE TO RE-THINK THE WORD FIVE OR SIX TIMES."



"What is a 'pian'?"



"What is a 'w-hole thing' and why are 30 Trump supporters pianning it?"



"A Fiamethrower? I can contextualize out that whatever it is, it throws fiames... what are fiames?"

"I'm the Asian, shouldn't I be the one having trouble with 'L's? You racist, non-articulating fuckhead."

"You lisp like you're deaf, appropriate considering you CAN'T SEEM TO HEAR HOW FUCKING MORONIC YOU SOUND."

"You want to claim that with North Korea in the news, testing warheads and announcing target cities... Instead of taking advantage of the American public's fear and panic, XWF should have one of its belts on someone unsigned with their flagship weekly program whose only previous credit is 'Seattle-only public access star'?"

"Sorry. Not wanting the belt on me and taking advantage of that national outrage viewership would be as stupid as a major network giving your upcoming Jerkbeast show longer than a half-season."

"Don't worry. I'll tune in."

"Just like the fans of your original show. I'm not here for comedy."

"I'm just starting to enjoy watching you fail at everything you do."

NKWC kips up, grabs Jerkbeast by his fucking underbite-exhibiting lower teeth and starts kneeing him in the face over and over until his head is cracked in half!