Taking a page out of X-Treme Champion Austin Fernando’s playbook, NKWC no-sells that bullshit attack and kicks out!

“Thanks for the recognition! It took a lot of hard work and dedication to my craft to say ‘one competent thing’!”

“I mean, it’s truly tragic that to an American, knowing basic animal terminology qualifies one for ‘competence’, but I’m honored that you would acknowledge my effort!”

“Maybe some day you’ll get there yourself! … But with you repeating the same shit over and over without any originality or nuance? It doesn’t look like it’s going to happen today.”

“Did you think that ‘KIM JONG-UN SUCKS!’ and ‘YOU’RE A COMMIE!’ and ‘YOU SUCK KIM JONG-UN’S DICK!’ was head-turning, game-changing, earth-shattering trash talk? Did you really think you ‘had that shit’ when you’re saying the least clever shit already said by the challengers that came before you? The ones with actual material and functioning brain cells? All got knocked the fuck out. I mean, Jesus. You’re the 4th person out of 6 unique challengers to say I suck Kim North Korea’s dick. Tommy Wish was #1.”

“Let that sink in, Jerkbeast. You’re three degrees of originality below FUCKING TOMMY WISH.”

“Although, that’s not even the most unbelievable thing about this fucking encounter.”

“The most unbelievable thing about this whole thing is this moronic giant puppet creature with the education of a first grader and the humor sensibilities of a mentally challenged first grader thinks that I’m the dumb one for treating him like a ‘stuffed toy’.”

“Me? stupid? I’m the one between the two of us who knows that the word ‘fucking’ has a ‘g’ at the end and not an apostrophe, you clod.”

“I’m sorry, you want me to knock off the ‘stuffed toy’ game? Were you really expecting anyone here to take this stupid bullshit seriously? You’re a giant weird mascot entity that hosted a Seattle public television show 13 years ago that no one cared about. You’re right, I’m the loser here. I’m the one who looks bad for calling you a ‘stuffed toy’”

“And if you’re saying I’m not funny, you must be right about that. After all, you’re a walking punchline and a cosmic joke. You must be an expert on humor.”

Quote: A STUFFED TOY IS MAKING YOU BLEED LIKE KIM JONG UN'S POPPED HEMORRHOID!

Quote: NEWS FLASH, WALTER CRONKITE!

Quote: IT WOULDN'T SURPRISE ME WITH HOW WELL YOU SUCK YOUR SHITHOLE COUNTRY'S DICK!

“…Jesus Christ. I can’t even pretend you’re funny sarcastically.”

“Stomach cancer is funnier than you.”

“My grandmother’s death was funnier than your wacky comedy.’ At least my grandmother’s passed quickly.”

“You’ve been shitting the bed here trying to talk trash for FUCKING 16 hours now!”

“Girard… I’d even take Gladiator at this point… Please send this kid home.”

“If he had anything worth putting out, he’d have put it out by now.”

NKWC sets Jerkbeast’s weird puppet body on fire.