NO! NKWC FORCES A SHOULDER UP!

“Actually, my real name is North Korean War Criminal.

My parents were hilarious.

You want to make fun of my name? Your name is Cole Adams.

Cole FUCKING Adams.

You might as well be named Tapioca Pudding or Paper Plate or CAUCASIAN MAN.

I got drowsy READING YOUR NAME. That’s the big risk stepping into the ring with you.

Your Saint Drop didn’t knock me out, IT PUT ME TO SLEEP.

Rule of thumb: Want to entertain an audience? Don’t tell them exactly what’s going to happen. It illustrates how predictable your work in the ring is.

I don’t know how you could be so thoroughly stupid on every front. It’s actually astounding.

If you think Shane signed me to profit off of existing current events?

Shane blew me up with a tank two years ago. (Look it up, True (Korean) Believers!))

No. Current events didn’t spawn me. I spawned those current events. The nuclear tests to inspire fear in the American populace, the sanctions on the North Korean people that will make them support further nuclear testing.

The endless cycle of violence and war. By my design.

I twist, I pull, I maneuver the puppet strings. When I want something to happen, it happens. And I want you to take your middle-of-the-road 6-out-of-10 trash talk and get the fuck off out of my division.

What makes me relevant? The fact that I am feared, that the changes I promise are happening. THAT THE ENTIRE LANDSCAPE OF THE XWF IS SHIFTING BECAUSE I WILL IT SO.

You think anyone gives a shit about some rookie that joined last week? You say you’re talking a big game? I sure as Hell didn’t see anything new come from your mouth.

Same old garbage every newbie that wants to make an impact shits out their baby-wet facehole.

In-ring ability? In the two years since I joined the XWF, I’ve never lost a match. Look it up, you uninformed sack of shit.

You want to talk about how obvious it is I’m struggling here? Apologies, but it seems one of us has made $62,830 of your American X-Bux since re-signing with the company 10 DAYS AGO!

ALL OF TEN DAYS TO GET ON THE LIST FOR HIGHEST EARNING WRESTLERS IN THE XWF.

Meanwhile, you’re sitting at… $1,483, in almost the same time frame…
Jesus. If you were in the 24/7 division, which seems to be your goal swinging at me, that’s $8.82 an hour.

Someone’s moving up in the world! I bet this beats your last job of flipping burgers and mopping floors, you unskilled bearded homeless-looking fuckhead.

Live your dreams! (of just-above-minimum-wage.)

Now. Pack up and get out. Cuz one promo in and you’re already beat.”

NKWC delivers a Hero’s Honorable Thumb-To-The-Eye to Cole Adams. One Thrust Kick later and Cole is up-and-over the top ropes.

The official begins a ten-count.