"Apologies, did you think I was insulting you? Not the case.

I was reading notes from your last doctor's visit.

I did my best. I couldn't exactly 'read' the doodles in the margins, but to sum up, he drew you as a beached whale. The doctor labeled the Ocean you would never return to 'meaningful relationships' and the beach you were stuck on 'Oreos'.

Are you still rhyming, you fucking slab of lard and chocolate?

Is this how to reclaim the glorious XWF NorthKoreanWarCriminalweight championship? Fucking Vanilla Icing me into submission?

Could you not write a Plan B because you ran out of paper in the house writing up your grocery list for the week?

I'm glad you stopped by, Robbie. I'm learning a lot.

I've never heard the argument before that obesity makes you better at fighting. But look at the facts.

Who wants to wrestle when the second Robbie Bourbon steps in the ring, the ropes smell like yeast?

You can hide quite an array of weapons in those stomach rolls.

Plus, you can't get pinned or submitted if you couldn't pay someone to touch your malformed butterbody.

I'd take your advice to improve my in-ring ability, but I enjoy life's little joys too much: fitting through doors, having a functional reproductive system.

Side question, can you get hard without thinking about ice cream?

Thinking about frozen yogurt doesn't count.

Quote:Shit, you want to count Chins, sir, perhaps you aught to check the men pulling Kim Jong's strings.

...

...Oh.

Because Asian people are named Chin.

... Is that the best you have?

Didn't realize you were fat AND stupid.

Then again, you're American. Why wouldn't I just assume that?

Shit, is stupid communicable? IS IT SPREADING THROUGH THE AIR?

That would explain why your country's the way it is.

America is a disease.

Its symptoms are intolerance, obesity, fanatical devotion to a failed political structure, hatred of your poor, hatred of your marginalized, hatred of the intelligent, worship of your rich.

But, go ahead. Mock True Korea. A country that does less harm to the environment, has less nuclear arms and is currently occupying fewer objecting nations than yours is.

Assume I couldn't afford a fucking Nintendo. That company that has manufactured 16 million different varieties of products, millions of those produced and sold each, at the very least. Assuming I don't have electricity because your News spreads deceits and falsehoods about the North Korean people and infrastructure daily to keep your populace in fear and under their control.

Fuck yourself, your rotund bleating racist American sheep.

It's clear you devour American propaganda like you do slices of cheesecake. Daily, without remorse or consideration for its effect on your mind and body."

NKWC rolls to his feet.

AND DELIVERS A DEVOTED VALIANT SOLDIER'S SOCCER KICK TO THE GROIN.

Robbie collapses in a heap, inside cradling his small package.

"Can someone roll this fat fuck out? I'm done with him."