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~~Ginger Snaps~~ · (02-25-2016)

I kick out.

I'm sorry, did the little boy say something? Where's your mummy at? Does she know you're running around repeating yourself and not making a lot of sense while you try and talk to girls? And where did you learn to talk this way? You sound like you're struggling with the concept of coherency. It's ok. Not everyone can be good at everything. I bet you're really good at cleaning the floors and getting the dust bunnies out from under the couch, aren't you little guy? Can you do me a favour? Can you go get me something to eat from the McDonald's up the road? I'm a little embarrassed to order a happy meal, but you're the size of a 5 year old, so I'm sure no one will judge you for it. Just, you know, be sure to hold an adult's hand when crossing the street, look both ways, and please, get hit by a car on the way back. I know, that's borderline mean, but I think traction would help increase your outlook on life, and maybe teach you how to talk to people without sounding like an angry toddler. Or, are you actually an angry toddler? Why are you so angry? Is it because when you tried to have that shove it for the mini people, no one wanted to join it? But when people hear Ginger might be involved in something, there's a line to meet her?

Is that it, little guy? You're feeling less than I am, because you're not as good at drawing people's attention as I am? It's ok, champ. You've still got your cardboard title, don't you? You can use that to make yourself feel better about having the vocal skills of a Cocker Spaniel with it's vocal cords snipped to prevent barking. Which is really mean, by the way. Kind of like how letting you run around thinking you're a real boy is mean. We need to get you back on a leash, and give you back to your mother. She must be worried about you. How did you get out of your pram, anyway? That fall from less than a meter must have been awful scary for someone of your stature. What are you, like 60 centimeters? In case you're unable to do the conversion, that's less than 2 feet tall. That is a really cute baby wrestler costume you wear, when did Baby Gap start selling Halloween costumes that involve a mask? Maybe next time get one with less air holes. It might do you some good to deprive yourself of oxygen for a few minutes to a few days. We'll split the difference, just go about 5 hours without oxygen, that should probably make you more tolerable. Don't worry, I'll bring flowers for your mom at your funeral for that. Leave a pretty note for her, let her know it's not her fault that you're this terrible.

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