Brian Lance and 2 have had a rebuttal against Robbie and Pest, the Black Hand. Robbie, in effort to entertain more people, has conscripted a few of his students to create a puppet show of he and Pest using only Brian Lance and 2 as sources.

WAVE GOOD MORNING

We open to see a stage. A curtain draws back and shows puppet versions of Robbie and Pest.

Puppet Pest: Robbie, I'm super angry right now. Are you super angry?

Uh, hyuk, yeah Pest! I'm very angry! We have to actually work for a living and earn something in the XWF!

Puppet Pest: Curses, Robbie! This isn't fair! I thought we'd walk into a tag team tournament as the only people who signed up, like a pair of shitheads snorting ketamine.

Uh, hyuk, yer right, Pest! I sure am glad I"m evil now! I'm like a pawn, hyuk. Glad you fed me, hyuk.

The camera turns to show Robbie and Pest watching the show. Pest looks bored, Robbie is less than pleased.

I bought you Wendy's!

Pest: I did not write this drivel, and I sound nothing at all like that.

The camera turns again to show the puppet stage.

Puppet Pest: Robbie, we have to focus on these two dangerous opponents we're facing! They don't even care about winning the Tag Team Championships, because they're both masochists.

Uh, hyuk, they like pain, and that makes them edgy and dangerous and obviously bad ass. Hyuk, no self defense like just getting beat on with a smile, Pest ole' pal!

Puppet Pest: That's right, chum! Defeating them will be nigh impossible, but that's not a problem, chum, because we're going to pull them down a rung!

The camera turns to show Robbie and Pest. Pest is smoking and Bourbon looks less than pleased.

How the fuck do you pull something down from above?

Pest: How indeed, Robert.

Seriously, by the rules, I am not one half of the Tag Team Champions as of right now, but I can make an argument that I've been screwed out of holding them before. You know what, though? I'm not calling a lawyer, I'm not pissing and moaning to the brass at the office, I"m going down to the fucking ring and beating the shit out of these wannabe LeStrange assholes.

Pest: Is that what the people deserve?

Fucking-A right they do.

The camera turns back to the puppet stage.

Hyuk, hey Pest, did you know 2 has faced men like us before?

Puppet Pest: I know, Robbie! That's what scares me the most, is that our mysterious gangland tactics are no surprise to him.

Hyuk, and did you hear he's already heard everything we have to say about him?

Puppet Pest: Drat, drat, double drat! That rotten rogue has bested us at every turn! He even knows not to care about the fact people constantly make fun of his name!

Hyuk, hey, it's our pal Morbid Angel!

A Morbid Angel puppet walks on stage, obviously larger than Robbie or Pest.

"Grrr, we're monsters!"

Hyuk, boogeymen!

The camera pulls back to show Pest calmly walking up to the puppet theater, holding a red gasoline can. Robbie is sitting in his chair, downing what looks like a gallon of water. Pest starts batting at the puppets on the stage, causing them to go limp, as the puppeteers scatter. He pours the gasoline can all over the puppet stage, and then flicks his cigarette at it. It goes up instantly in a violent plume of flame with an unmistakable WHOO-HOOF.

Pest: Robert, tell your Bourbon Men they were disappointing, and you will never use puppets again.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Robbie walks up to the burning stage and we hear the sound of his fly being unzipped. He pisses the fire out.

C'mon, we gotta get to Mexico. And I think that Morbid puppet was actually a midget or dwarf, so we gotta find a dumpster on the way to the airport. Let's split.