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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
Faith of the Heart
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Dionysus Offline
Active in XWF



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#1
05-03-2024, 10:44 PM

TICK

TICK

TICK

As fun as it was to celebrate the court win, the voices returning weren't exactly instilling me with confidence.

So, here I am.

Again.

With that same damn clock.

"So," Elbrook said with a smile, opening his notepad. "You are hearing those voices we've explored together. Can you describe what happened?"

"You seem eager to pry into my head again, Doc," I replied sarcastically.

"Well, it has been some time since you last saw me. And can I really help it if these voices intrigue me? Do indulge me, Dionysus."

I sighed. Elbrook took to my case like a cat to nip. May as well give him what he wants. "I really don't know what set it off this time. Things were good, y'know? The guys have their own lives helping to set up the vineyard, my career is better than ever, and I'm even feeling like my social life has improved. But then these voices come back..." I clenched my fists, trying to suppress the irritation I was feeling, "...and I just don't know why."

"It must make you feel useless," Elbrook commented.

"Worse," I replied. "It makes me feel powerless. I can do all the meditation in the world, all the practice in turning my focus away from these voices...and yet it will always come back."

Elbrook nodded, jotting down his notes in the notepad. "You must understand, Dionysus, that this process is going to take time. Recovery isn't immediate. You know that very well, given your medical history." He set the notepad aside, looking me dead in the eye. "Your mental health is very much the same way. There will be times that a mental injury like the one you have sustained doesn't hurt you as much, but like an old wound, it can reopen. That doesn't mean you've failed."

"Well it sure feels that way to me," I replied with honesty.

"Listen, Dionysus," Elbrook said sternly. "It is entirely possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That isn't failure. That is life." Elbrook leaned back, his own annoyance fading from his face. "Think of your own career. There must have been times where you have committed yourself to do everything in your power and still not succeed, yes?"

Immediately the thought crossed my mind. Each three that was called out. Each loss that rang while lying on my back. Each moment I felt my hand slap the canvas to tap out. I snapped out of it, shaking much more than I thought I had done. "You're right," I admitted. "It might not go away. Best to just deal with it as it comes up."

"In that case," Elbrook continued, picking up his notepad again, "Lets look at the cause this time. By establishing a pattern, we can find ways to shut out these voices more consistently. Now, one of the more common reasons for mental episodes-"

"I appreciate the use of the word 'episode' instead of 'breakdown,'" I remarked.

"Well, breakdown carries a negative connotation that ultimately doesn't help the patient," Elbrook commented. "But you're also deviating from the conversation."

"Apologies; I will try to keep on topic."

"Do."

There was a pause. "Beg pardon?" I asked.

"Do. Don't try. Do. There is no 'try,'" Elbrook replied, annoyed. Before I could follow-up with a response, he continued on. "Now then, what happened the last time you heard the voices?"

"I believe it was during the trial," I explained. "I was on the witness stand. The other attorney asked a needless question, and I believe I was sarcastic in my response."

"And...the voice you heard?" Elbrook asked while writing.

"It sounded like...laughter." I paused to think harder on the noise. "But it wasn't a creepy laugh, like something out of a horror movie. It was more like...a chorus of laughter."

"A large group?" Elbrook asked. I nodded, and watched him flip several pages back into his notepad. "There was another time...ah, here it is; laughing, more than one voice, wasn't scary."

I shook my head. "You're right, that has come up often. But that just seemingly came up at random. Why during the trial?"

"Well, court can be a source of stress. You were part of a lawsuit, after all; frivolous though it may have been, it still weighed on your subconscious," Elbrook theorized. "It is entirely possible that what you heard was a manifestation of your stress, with the laughter indicating...perhaps comfort? Ease of mind?"

"Or maybe it was making light of the situation," I added, "Y'know, to give me confidence."

"That is also possible. Either way, these voices do not seem to be harmful to you. This is good news for us; it seems nothing traumatic is causing you to hear these things."

I looked back at Elbrook, confused. "...But...I'm still hearing them. And this shit definitely isn't normal."

Elbrook shrugged. "Maybe not when applied to everyone, but you're not the first, nor the last, to hear voices in their head. Since they are harmless, at least for the moment, I would suggest continuing to meditate and strengthen your ability to tune them out. There will be times where they will come back regardless of what you do; when that happens, journal it. What were you doing when they returned? What was the emotion? Information is key, and the more you have, the more you will realize what sort of power it has over you."

I nodded, rubbing my hands nervously. "I appreciate it, Doc. I know its been a hot minute since I came in, but-"

"Oh, think nothing of it," Elbrook interrupted politely. "You're one of my favorite patients, after all. I know your schedule can be...well, difficult. But check in with those close to you and ensure that they are doing well too. I can only imagine how Daniel, Devin and Wade feel."

"I'll do that," I remarked, standing up and stretching.

I was halfway toward the door before I heard behind me, "Oh, one other thing."

"Yes, Doc?" I asked.

Elbrook had closed his notepad and set it on his desk, tapping his finger on the cover. "This...this isn't coming from me as a therapist to a patient...this is coming from me as a concerned guardian. I...well, where to begin..."

"Its okay, Doc," I assured him. "If there's something you want to ask me, go for it."

"Well...its about Elli."

I knew this conversation would come up at some point. The downside of being friend's with your therapist's niece. "Sure, what's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing wrong," Elbrook replied nervously. "Its just...well, your name has come up numerous times in recent weeks when we get together. And each time it does, her eyes light up. Your friendship with her has been a good one, if maybe a bit one-sided." He raised an eyebrow at me. "She has had to make several arrangements on her own to meet you, you know."

I laughed, feeling the tension thicken in the room. "Yeah well...you know my schedule, right?"

"Yes..." He paused, thinking about what he wanted to say next. "Dionysus...I have to know, as her uncle...what...exactly are your intentions with my niece?"

I had to give Elbrook credit; he knew how to cut to the heart of the matter. In that moment, I thought about all the times we spent together. Meeting at the bar, running into her while helping out Wade, getting lunch and coffee with her. Just little moments where we slowly but surely exposed more of our souls to each other.

In that moment, it was her smile that led me to tell Elbrook how I felt.

"My intentions?" I asked rhetorically. "Well...if I'm being honest with you, we get along great as friends."

...So much for having the courage.

Even Elbrook could tell I wasn't being honest. He rolled his eyes. "Oh come now, Dionysus. She told me everything. Do you really think you're going to get away with such an easy excuse?"

"Well I don't know what you expected me to say, Doc!" I shouted. I stopped to cool off, then in a more level voice, said, "I explained things to Elli as best I could. The life I lead...its a hard one for any relationship. I like what we have now and I'd hate to jeopardize that down the road." I looked down at my shoes, ashamed to look back at Elbrook. "Besides...even if I could do anything, isn't she already spoken for? He deserves to at least have his chance."

"Who, that Jacob fellow?" Elbrook remarked. "Oh dear, she hasn't mentioned anything to you then."

"...Hasn't mentioned what?"

"She flew out to Colorado to go visit him, since he hadn't returned back to the cities in the better part of two weeks," Elbrook explained. "He had told her he was taking care of a sick family member, and Elli, being as kind-hearted as she is, offered to help him out. He insisted she didn't need to come, but she went there anyway."

"...And?"

"I think it would be best," Elbrook advised, "if she told you the rest of that story. But what I can tell you is this. If you think you have missed your opportunity with her..." he paused, then shook his head, saying, "Listen, I'm not particularly fatherly, and I know more about your mental state than I do your own heart. I mean dammit Dionysus, I'm a doctor, not a matchmaker. But knowing that the two of you think of each other so highly and seeing you both hold yourselves back...its just-"

"Frustrating?" I asked, but in my own mind I was thinking of Elli. I needed to speak with her. Soon.

Elbrook nodded. "There really isn't a better way for me to say this. So Dionysus...just get the fuck on with it, will you?"

I was taken aback. Both mentally and physically. I had never heard Elbrook be so insistent on any action in my life. "I...I'll go talk to her," I stammered out, before quickly leaving his office.

Its definitely the strangest way to receive a loved one's blessing.

But hey, at this point in the game, I'll take it.


A long time ago, in a wrestling federation far, far away...

It was a time of unrest. The rent was due, medical bills were piling up, and it was only a matter of time before our hero, Dionysus, wound up living on the streets.

The dark side tempted him, in many ways.

"I know a guy who needs some muscle. Could make some easy money with him."

"We've got these unsanctioned fights that pay top dollar."

"Come join us at Mary Kay and be your own boss!"

But he knew that with time, patience, and careful consideration, his pay day would soon come.

That was my life prior to entering this business. Not as a god among men, but your average joe simply trying to survive. My father's old gym was my home when my mother was put into memory care.

Now, I live...no, I thrive in the ring. This very ring.

Having to choose between the light and the dark never interested me. The darkest of intentions inevitably are thwarted by the light anyway; you may as well learn how to manage with both.

Pariah, meanwhile, seems to think he has the entire universe figured out, bent entirely to his whims.

It must be a wonderful chip on your shoulder, entering into this match not only with a win over me, but also recovering the very same belt. An inadvertent rematch to once again reclaim a prize I gambled with...and lost.

I imagine this must surprise you, Pariah.

No excuses? No "Had I done" statements? Was this man truly not phased by his loss to me?

If you are asking yourself those questions, then you really do not know me as well as you think you do.

It is no secret that I am my own harshest critic. Being able to talk a big game is but one aspect of this business. Backing up those words is another. In an all-out brawl, I came up short. That is the truth of things. Revising that history to make myself look favorable changes nothing.

Indeed, Pariah; in our last outing, you were the better man.

...But what happened after that?

Lets take a look at the journey of light and dark, shall we?

After your victory, a proper declaration was made. You intended to make yourself fully known to the rest of XWF. You came out, fresh from your victory, flush with the swagger of a newly minted champion.

...And you proceeded to become upstaged. By yours truly.

One roll-up, Pariah.

One roll-up was all it took to shatter your will, after a fight to the death.

No more matches were made. No more words were uttered. You knew the stakes of the belt that you carried. And so, with that power clutched in your hands, you cloistered yourself in the hallowed halls, prepared to defend yourself at a moment's notice.

Only for Robbie Bourbon to snatch the belt from you. Not even in a ring.

A shame.

The seclusion became comforting, as the darkness began to overtake you. Unlike a little runt sitting on a log, your hermitage became more permanent. And it is only now that you return, swiping the opportunity where you could, and managing to rip the belt back.

You know how to become a champion.

But you do not know how to be a champion.

And that is the difference between you and I. You see, when you defeated me, it was certainly a setback. My clearest path to the world title fell out from underneath me. I even set aside my ambitions for March Madness in order to secure the coveted briefcase.

But rather than embracing the darkness like I would my own mother, I strode through it, facing the next challenge as it came. It would envelop me, but I would not permit it to slow me down. Victories were attained, momentum was recovered, and I carried on as I normally did. While the way I describe this makes it seem easy, I can assure you this is far from the truth.

There were days that I wanted nothing more than to crack every bone, squeeze out every drop of blood, even split every atom of your being.

But did I even try to recover the Xtreme Title out of revenge? No.

I intended to send you a message.

That message was, "You have my undivided attention."

And believe me, this is not a message you should have received.

The opportunity presents itself once more to reclaim what I had lost. Nearing the eve of Revelry, I can only imagine that fate smiles upon me. Fate itself is an overwhelming force of change. Come Warfare, you will fully understand two things:

I am one with that force.

And that force...is with me.

[Image: Many-Faces.png]
1x XWF Xtreme Champion (November 2023)
2x XWF Television Champion (May/August 2023)
2x RP of the Month (March/October 2023)
2023 Rookie of the Year
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