Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

AerialKnight · **12-28-2014, 07:50 PM**

We fade in on the Knight watching television and doing nothing else. I say watching, but it's more like having his face buried in his hands in sheer disbelief. The Cambot 'looks' over to the television to reveal just what is causing the Knight to behave like this. Turns out, it was caused by watching MM's newest 'interview' about his match coming up tomorrow, where he wasted time using Adobe After Effects to clone himself to make it look like he has a news team that follows his every move. A groan can be heard from the Knight as the flying camera turns around to face him, where he has his eyes closed and is laying down on the bed. He stays in this position while addressing the bot and the viewers at home.

"I've talked about the diamonds in the rough before with Gator, now I have to talk about the actual rough surrounding that diamond. Sorry Jacob, priorities, you know?"

The knight sits up and opens his eyes to look at the flying camera. He doesn't seem amused with what he has to talk about.

"First up, we have Mastermind. It's about time that guy spoke. I thought he was going to pussy out of the match because he got his ass kicked by a new guy. Hell, in this match, he might as well be the new guy next to Zi over there. I mean, reaaly? Making clones of yourself to interview yourself? You'd be better off having the reanimated corpse of Liz Weinberg interview you while trying to avoid having your brain eaten. That is, if you had a brain to begin with. From what I've seen in that video of yours, you began in the middle of your fucking recording. It's like you spent a good hour talking shit about Gator only to stop and say virtually nothing of interest. It's like you came this match all pumped up to lose. Not to worry though, I'll fulfill that fantasy of yours by making sure that winning this belt here is nothing but a hope spot. You might have taken the entire week trying to study up on us, but it won't do shit for you if you don't back that shit up."

"Say something about us, why don't you? Say something about Gator's lack of commitment coming into this match, say something about my misogyny and how you think I don't deserve this belt because it was simply handed to me, say anything about Bobby's ability to speak and read English because the fucker still thinks that this is under elimination rules, say something for yourself! Have you no confidence, man?"

He sighs out of frustration.

"Then again, what do I know? I have yet to lose with this belt around my shoulder, and I don't plan on losing it to a man who was suplexed into a car and couldn't get up. Anyone with any fighting spirit could have found their way out of that, no problem. But as I can see, your spirit has been drained after taking one look at that record of yours. I'm impressed that you're still going after you lost twenty four times to people you probably needed the push from. Maybe it's a way of saying that you should just stop trying and head home. Wouldn't be a bad idea either. In fact, it will probably be the first good idea you ever had in the longest while."

The knight picks up the remote and changes the channel to feature Bobby Zi's newest recording.

"And now we're at Zi...ro. This guy is like the number zero. Sure it's helpful and raises numbers to a much bigger one, but it's absolutely worthless and needs to be added to something in order to make it helpful in someway. As a tag partner, you're decent, but on your own? Forget it."

"What have you done recently that I should care about Bobby? What have you done to deserve this belt that you've proven time and time again you can't hold? You've fought Steve Davids, and you were absolutely crushed in that match. And you think that after losing to a man like him, you have a shot at taking this belt? Jacob took that guy out twice, no problem, once in a triple threat and again in that Gauntlet match. Whoops, I can't compliment him, otherwise he'll think I'm going to drop his pants and suck his dick again. Anyways, you might believe that Madfare is the place where all of your dreams will come true and nothing will stop you from achieving them, but you have to realize that, with this belt, I can be able to reach heights that not even you can reach, Ziro. The Underground only has one champion so far, and that's me. I don't plan on having anything changed with an honor like this."

"But go on, prove how much you don't want to be a member of the Underground by beating me. Prove your status as a part timer by desperately trying to back up what you've claimed and fail when shit gets too real for you. Everyone will still laugh at you anyways, so your victory won't even matter."

Johnathan changes the channel again, this time we get to Gator, who hasn't said much about the Knight in his latest recording at all. He seems bemused at how little Gator seemed to mention him, as he rewinds the footage to make sure he didn't skip something. Sure enough, that was it.

"Really dude? You skipped a lot of my messages to you and chose the details you couldn't even bother to listen to completely? I thought you knew better than that man. You're pretty much telling me 'Yeah, you really won in that fatal five way and I couldn't bear the thought of shitting my pants, keep my belt.'"

"Oh come on, at least I put up some really good pictures of Wade Wilson not acting like a comical asshat. One even has his mutilated face, which you probably have from clawing at while listening to me. Hey, at least enjoy being called Deadpool, not just because of the looks, but also because of the personality. It's like I'm looking at a mirror image when I watch one of your videos, sans the fact that you have cameramen and can't regenerate. Oh, and he's actually cooler than you are and breaks the fourth wall regularly. Hell, the fourth wall is already demolished, might as well kill the guys that are trying to rebuild the damn thing."

"I'm sorry that I forget things like every other human being on the planet. I'm as flawed as any other man, much like you are. Oh wait, unlike me, you're trying to become a star pupil by writing everything down like the fucking nerd you are. I know that those notes were made about me, who wouldn't know that those notes were made about me? Bobby might not, but he's a foreigner that doesn't really get the grasp of what we're doing, even though South Africa was inhabited by English men. According to history, you should be his teacher, you should be the one giving him English lessons and ordering him to wash up because all Africans are just dirty whites to you people."

"Before you try to deny it, I have a picture saved into the little bot's memory that will make you ashamed of your own nationality. Cambot."

BEEP BEEP.

"Load picture: 'Pear's Soap'."

The camera then cuts to this photograph.

[Image: kaufmann-mercantile-com.jpeg?w=1140&h=835]

"Yeah, good luck trying to get that out of your head now."

"You're confident? Really? All I'm hearing out of you is 'fuck' 'shit' 'dumbass' 'wah' 'wah' wah'. Maybe if cussing wasn't sixty percent of your vocabulary, I'd consider what you throw at the wall is confidence. But nope, you have to give away a fuck every other sentence to make yourself look cool and tough, when you're just tossing them at me like you just heard those words for the first time. The head of the alligator that I sliced clean in half is more menacing than the way you're acting right now. That must really say something about your intimidation skills."

"Alligators are strong, yes. They are also fierce creatures that are willing to bite if they need a good meal. But do you know what else they are? Afraid. Why else do they back away from fights when they start? Remember those cat videos that keep going viral? Yeah, one of those cats whooped the shit out of two alligators, and they had no choice but to back off like the chicken shits they are. Wanna see it? I have that saved in the Cambot's memory too. Never mind, you can look that shit up on YouTube for yourself. The point is that if that cat can take on those two gators with no hesitation, then why shouldn't I do the same to you? Why should I be afraid that you'll take the belt away from me? Because of the added benefits as champion? Because it looks nice? Because it was the only thing that you had that made you look like a threatening competitor? Sorry, but as long as I'm around and able, I will not be letting go of this belt."

"Can't hurt for you to try though. Roll the die, see how many spots you get to move before you have to slide back to the very bottom. Want to know what I rolled, Jacob? A one. Guess where that puts me? Thirty eight steps further than you. Nothing wrong with trying to catch up, but you'll have to give it your all if you want to do so, which I am clearly not seeing from you at all. It's a matter of luck they say. Would you be willing to risk it all? Cambot."

BEEP BEEP.

"Turn off."

The scene cuts to black.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode The One Who Clashes Swords With a Knight
Author	Message