*Gator looks into the camera, his head titled to side slightly, he inhales deeply and exhales, straightening his body. He lifts a piece of paper*

"NOTES!!!"


*Gator throws the sheet of paper to his side*

"Fucked over by the new general manager is right Tank. Thank you for sharing my slight annoyance. But, you assholes taught me a lesson? How!? You attacked me after a match and now I'm back, still fucking ready to kick all of your asses. That's not a fucking lesson, that's a goddamn invitation to some ass kicking. And I'm a dick? I don't try and put myself in the limelight every fucking match. Attacking guys who don't care about you and trying to prove you are a big, bad mother fucker makes you a dick. Running in, interfering matches you have no business in makes you a dick. Running boring ass videos during shows makes you and your team dicks. Walking down the ramp again for the third or fourth time at a show, making the audience groan with how you and the pussies you hang around with ruin their night, makes you a fucking dick."

"... I know I'm entertaining, I don't need some slack jawed cousin fucker to tell me I'm entertaining. I fucking know I'm entertaining. I wish you were more entertaining, I really fucking do but again you disappoint everyone! You're like a stripper with the tits cut off and replace with giant spider faces. Fun to look for a moment at but hard to watch. Next? ... Did I say it would be easy in this handicap scenario? Like did I? Because I'm pretty sure I said you guys had the advantage, it'll be pretty tough but nowhere near impossible. Hey, nice to see you have trust in your partner even though he clearly has zero trust in you. Seriously man, he wanted an elimination handicap because he knows one you will get knocked the fuck out. I mean, a fucking elimination last man standing handicap match. That shit reeks of distrust. "

"Mother fucker you are tall and fat! You have bigger tits than Shelby Cobra for crying out loud. It's not that everyone just calls you tall and fat, you are the living embodiment of tall and fucking fat. You are Pavarotti on stilts with none of the talent. Next you talk about wrestlers who will have much more fruitful careers than yourself and you talk about how other tall guys go mostly powerhouse, but you're a fucking mold breaker now aren't you! Why leave out Kane man? He could fucking move when he wanted to. Same with Bam Bam Bigalow, and Vader. Nice to see you only mention the guys who make you look faster and better and not the guys who actually were big guys that could be quick when they wanted too. You fucking scumbag."

"... Fuck me man, you sure love talking about yourself! Goddamn, half the stuff that I wrote down from your promo is all about you bigging yourself up. Don't say, fucking show! I am not impressed that you are six eight and can run. I'm six three and I can fucking move quicker than you, but you don't hear me go on and fucking on about it. No, I show what I can do. I will show that just because you are a tall, heavy son of a bitch I can still throw you into the air with ease and hit a Disaster Drop. All that speed with that weight you're carrying equals a lot of fucking momentum, do you know how much a person's momentum can be used against them? Let me give an example, you sprint towards me, I feel the mat shake under my feet and see this huge, green haired roid monster coming at me. Now, I'm no deer in the headlights, I'm a fucking Gator man. I'll stand my ground and wait till your close enough, just look you dead in the eyes while you're making all this racket, screaming or panting running full speed ahead like a freight train, I'll just look at you and wait. Then, when you're close enough I'll whisper this sweet nothing to you."

"You fucking moron."

"Then, I'll slide to the floor and give you a quick and easy drop toe hold, all the speed and velocity goes straight to the fucking floor, you land on your face, break your nose, bust up your mouth, lose a few teeth, probably two black eyes. But mainly, you're going to look stupid and you'll be out fucking cold, then all I have to do is hold off that paper bag called Moe Syzlak or whatever the fuck his name is and wait ten seconds. Piece of piss."

*Gator looks back at the paper making random noises to fill the silence, he looks back at the camera with an 'Ah'*

"You didn't stick with the lessons for long? Pfft, fucking quitter. You're not a new breed of beast, you're not a new kind of monster. You're just another gigantic waste of time, nothing new, nothing special, just another thing for the idiots in the stands to look and point at. Not saying everyone who watches XWF is an idiot, just some of you, but you know I love you guys with brains. Now you fucking insult me, saying I'm not the creative one? Bitch do you know who you're talking too? Sir Roidsalot? The fuck is that primary school insult!? You wanna know why I didn't call you shit like Sir Roidsalot? Because that's a fucking shit insult! But I can easily tell that you are not great at names. I mean Ghost Tank. Seriously dude? That shit sounds like an eleven year old's create a wrestler in XWF 2005: The Game. And then, you fucking learn from your shit partner and go back on your words!"

Ghost Tard lol I'm so fucking witty (sarcasm) Said: The only truly original thing you said is that I'd be better utilized as a bridge instead of a wrestler.

"Fuck man, even if you think that's my only witty barb, you can't go back on your word saying I'm not creative and then saying I made a fucking creative insult! And you fucking wonder why everyone goes for the big thing. You want more creative nicknames? Well, ladies and gentleman I think it's time for.... Other names to call that big stupid bitch Ghost Tank!"

*A audience clapping is played over the footage as well as generic game show background music, while Gator reaches down for small cue cards*

"Clifford the big green ] *ding*
[red] "Gas Tank! A little childish I know but hey we work with what we're given." *ding*
"Gay Twat! Again, pretty easy." *ding*
"Arnold Schwarzenegger's left testicle with gangrene!" *ding*
"An Earth elemental's less successful brother! Now we're rolling!" *ding*
"A punk rock chick's perfect boyfriend to piss off her dad!" *ding*
"A Chia Pet on steroids!" *ding*
"An unused extra for The Matrix movies!" *ding*
"Carrot Top's jealous, less funny, body building brother!" *ding*
"A Leprechaun, who got super pissed when someone stole his Lucky Charms!" *ding*
"And lastly, drum roll please... *The music and sounds stop* A stupid fucking asshole who doesn't realise how truly fucked he really is."

"I mean seriously dude, all this hate your giving me, it's fucking fueling me, I'm using your half thought trash talk like ammunition, and I'm hitting all the vital organs. Come tomorrow, there's going to be nothing left of you. How much can I truly prove that I'm your better? How can I prove that I'm the Asylum's better? By kicking your fucking ass up and down the ring? That's a start. By verbally destroying you like I'm doing now? Well, that's fun and must be humiliating for you. But how else can I prove myself? How can I prove to the big green that I deserved to hold the Television title for so long? Hmmm... Oh, I know! I fucking don't have to prove a goddamn thing to some punk bitch who doesn't mean shit! I just have to kick the ever loving shit out of you and your piece of shit brothers."

"I don't have to take this match seriously, I don't have to take you seriously. I don't want to take anything seriously. I want to have fun! Isn't that what life is all about? I want to have a good fucking fight, that's all, I don't want a serious feud or any shit. I want to fight you two and have a hell of a time kicking your asses, then I will dust my hands off with you two and stroll into my next match with another Asylum cunt laughing my ass off. That's a fair request right? Anyway, I'm done with you. Show me something good tomorrow dude, I get the feeling Moe will be a let down, but I hope you can back up your words at the very least."

Can You HearTank's Bullshit?

*The footage fades to black*