We've all got superpowers. From the little kid crawling in front of a bus, to the lady getting raped in the alley. We all have our own gifts and special abilities that nobody else can match.
From the Gilmours dropping and regaining pounds faster than Sebastian Duke gains and drops championships, all the way to the John Madison's being too goddamn stupid to team with the Boy With The Big Ol' Dick to finally claim his tag team title shot. We all have something we can deliver that nobody else can, or would want to.
But me?
The man with the largest pump in the world?
See, having an appendage this swoll ain't no fuckin super power. It's just a way of life. It's who I am and who I've always been. My own REAL super power is much more private. Much more impressive. Want to know what it is?
Remember what I've said before? Bitch, you can't make me cum. And there's a reason for that. Can you guess why?
BEHOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As I, the one and only Stellar Von Stella, the current reigning Mr. XWF, gifts you all with the very first glimpse of what it's like to REALLY be me.
Yes call for love! Get in touch with me! To feel my super magic space erotic X-stasy!
A day in the life
Starring the hottest single male on the entire wrestling roster, yes we said entire WRESTLING ROSTER baby. Not just here.
His real name? Stellar Von Stella
![[Image: h2fJgCO.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/h2fJgCO.jpg)
And he is..
Your
Mr.
XWF
Mastered the art of talking ghetto while being white as fuck
Mastered the specialty known as having a BBC even though he's white as fuck
Is there anything this man can't do? Oh yeah, LOSE! Eat your heart out, Morbid Ass Gel!
Yeah yeah yeah it's your boy again, THAT BOY WITH THE BIG OL' DICK! And it looks like your favorite sex idol has found himself slated to go one on one with the GREAT Mr. WGWF!!!!
And when I say GREAT, I mean stupid ass homosexual bitch with dildos stuck to his head. He grrrrreat!
Now let's get on with this scene. Clear blue sky, check. Some sidewalks and streets, check. People walking up and down the sidewalks with their jaws to the ground when they see Admiral Appendage's package bulging out his spandex pants, cha-cha-CHECK!
Now here I go strutting my stuff across the boulevard and I hold out my hands like a true playa as the cars all skid, niggas slammin on their breaks n' shit just to avoid hitting this big ol' dick. And I don't blame a nigga. Cars are made of plastic these days, homie, and that means if you ram one into this hard ass cock you pretty much just junked yo shit! They'll be towing your ride away and tossing that shit into the trash heap faster than Petey Gilmo' tosses little kids off swings at the playground!
It's like, "yay daddy look at me look how high I can swing!" and then Gilmo' comes creepin along rubbing his hands together like a perv and the kid's like "oh no daddy who is that guy covered in Vaseline lurking in the bush over there?" and then Gilmo' is like "come to papa little boy and let me give you a Gilmo Butter." and then the kid's dad is like "you sick ass bizzitch, get away from my son and go wash your ass" and then cue Clean Lucena to jump in on the scene to correct the dad and say "Clean my ass!" which prompts Gilmo' to think the dad is distracted enough to go beat up the little kid but the kid is like "fuck you Gilmo I have a gun!" and pulls out a fuckin semi automatic machine gun rifle 9 millimeter revolver cannon and that shit don't even exist but Gilmo's ass sucks so fuckin bad that he still gets his greasy ass wop head blown da fuck off by that shizzit, my dude! Awwwwww, jeah! "Daddy daddy I killed me a Gilmo' I killed me a Gilmo', what's my prize?" and the dad looks at the kid and says "son, ain't no prize for killing a cock sucker who shoves chicken parm up his arse and gulps down horse cock day and night while watching old re-runs of In This Moment" and then Maria Brinks crawls out of a pile of garbage under one of the slides nobody ever uses at the playground, tossing a banana peel off of her face and brushing some dried cum off her chin and she's all like "don't you fucks talk about my biggest fan, and what do you mean old re-runs of my band?" to which I gotta say she has a point. Not to say the dad was incorrect in his assessment of Gilmo's spare time doings but to say that Gilmo' is a fuckin idiot who probably has found a way to legit watch re-runs of a band that sucks more donkey balls than Mr. WGWF has fake cocks and balls stapled to hi'self. Yeah hi'self. I left out the M mudda fucka because that hoe ass nigga I'm facing this week ain't no man, bruh. He's undeserving of the whole word HIM but then again isn't there some
ass singer or band called HIM? Or wasn't there? Somebody call Petey's mama and tell her to buy him tickets to the new Him This Moment concert featuring a freshly closet-outted Mario Brinks with full blown ass-AIDS and H I V of the face, and this nigga don't even know what da fuck that means! And somehow that shizzit still applies because you can just fling 10 pounds of monkey crap stuffed in a 5 pound bag right at anything related to Gilmo' and it's gonna stick right to the side of his face until he takes his bigass tongue and licks that shit, no no slurps slurps slurps dat shizzzzzzit right on into his face and down his gullet!
Ho
Ly
Fu
Ck
That was a long ass thought. Whew! The Dr. of Dickonamics needs to take a breath or two.
I breathe in. I exhale. I breathe in. I exhale. I breathe in. I exhale.
In, out, in, out. Yeah just like that, lungs. Take in that air and molest the shit outta it just like I'ma do to that cock faced bizzitch Mr. WGWF whose gay ass name still can't even be said on XWF telly without being transformed into some other gay ass shit. What does it turn into again? Mr. Cum Shitty
? Something like that, sounds about right.
Another breath. Ahhhhhhh and yeah let's talk more about yo dumb fuckin ass, Mr. WGWF. I guess my first question for you is just what da fuuuuuuuck is you supposed to be, nigga?
Me? I'm a white dude with long blonde hair under a silver dome who has mastered the sophisticated art of talking like the straight up G that used to be the guy under this silver dome. That's right I'm not even the original Mr. XWF and I'm still entertaining the fans, straining the yams, and never explaining shit to the fam about why I have cum stains all over me. Yeah I'll pop a glory hole or two on my day off. Yeah I'll go to the whore house. Yeah I'll sell myself on the strizzeet but who won't? Show me one person who won't take a buck for a quick fuck these days? I'll play escort for some fat, ugly, wringly, smelly, horse looking, hairy, crusty, limping, twitching old bitch like sayyyyyyyy oh I dunno ROSE SMITH and I'll accept 50 bucks a pop from her stank ass to show her a good time and to remind her, BIZZITCH YOU CAN'T MAKE ME CUM! But that doesn't mean I ain't makin HER cum left and right. It's fuckin nasty as hell bro when that bizzitch starts talking to me about how Gilmo' never satisfied her and then how Gilmo' moves on to some other crazy ass shemale named Johnny Johnson or some bullshit like that. Then how Gilmo' was always hitting on hot ass 12 year olds when they'd go to the mall to buy Ex-Lax. It's like, damn bitch, WHACK, shut da fuck up while I'm tryin to earn my fiddy bucks and stop reminiscing about ol' boy! You ain't even with him anymore as far as I fuckin' know. Ain't he with crusty blonde Him This Moment dude? I mean aren't they a happy item nowz-a-dayz?
Uuuuuuuugh, gawd diggity dog dizzamn, back to my point. I was just trying to paint a little picture for my bitch ass Mr. WGWF and let him know some of the dedication that runs through these here veins. I've taken on ALL THE JOBS of the original playa, the very first Mr. XWF, and I've left these hoes star struck. Ain't no secret that I'm stellar under this helmet, but what are you under your disguise, Mr. WGWF?
And what da fuck does
W
G
W
F
even stand for anyways, hoe? We Got Wicked Fucked? Is that their name? Since, ya know, the guy runnin' the place is a straight up cock sucking bizzitch who riggs 500% of the matches to just go in favor of whichever dude he's sleeping with that week, or to himself? Wait what? 500% makes no sense? Well it also makes no sense that the week we saw Chronic Tristan Borden fuckin Randy Page's babay daughter in her pussy because I thought that shizzit was reserved for dirty ass hillbillies like Tax! Some o' this shit's goin way over everybody's heads but that's ok because I'm here to entertain those couple guys in da back who know what da fuck I'm talkin about right now. Shane gave me the lowdown on those fagbags in WGWF and I couldn't help but laugh my cock off. I mean I knew something was wrong with a place that touts Mr. WGWF as their top star and sends that nigga over here to dumbinate us all, but dizzamn, I didn't know the full story about the backdoor polidicks that go around over there. Sheeeyikadoodle doo! Mr. WGWF, hearing about your family and friends from WGWF leaves me not knowing if I wanna take a shit, say yikes, or let out a big COCK-A-DOODLE-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
And yet, after all the homography and all the back dooring that goes on over there they still somehow exist? Is that how things are gonna go here with you too, Mr. WGWF? You shitty ass nigga is just gonna keep on going, and going, and going forever even though you can't draw a muthafucka out of the woodwork to save yo life? You couldn't draw fans if you stuck rubber pussies to yo damn self, I'm talkin ALL OVER YO WHOLE DAMN BODY SON, and gave everybody free invites to just cum all up on and in ya for free. And I'm picturing you offering this in a place like Milwaukee where Jeffrey Dahmer used to be able to go out and find gay dudes to tranqualize and fuck in the ear day in and day out before he ate their asses! You could even go down to fuckin SanFagSisqo and make yo offer and be left high and DRRRRRY!
Imagine that, son? A fuckin poop shoot open to all ages and sizes, rubber pussies and even some rubber assholes stuck all over you ALLLLLLREADY LUBED UP, and some big ass fuckin cocks strapped to yo dome and in the gayest cities in the good ol' U S of A you'd still be left a dry ass nigga playin wit hi'self and his own lube. Even the damn lube is gonna dry up and fall off yo ass as soon as you start touchin' and rubbin' that shizzit, hoe. Anything you touch or put on you wants to escape yo space! Dem fake dicks and pussies gonna eject themselves from yo unwanted body faster than a pilot ejects himself from a flaming air craft doing a nose dive!
You'z unwanted. You'z a fuckin' rabbit in a pit full of snakes and you still get left untouched, bizzitch.
So really I guess I just told you all about yo damn self, right ho? Here I was originally about to ask a nigga what he be about and instead I just gotta think about where he come from and who he represent. You trying to make it in a wrestling company when you wouldn't even be able to hang for 3 minutes in the ring with that faggerrific cum gargler on the reality show Chrisley Knows Best. He's a blatant, flagrant fouling homosexual masquerading as a husband to a fat ass beach whale of a wife and a supposed father of a little twink and a couple of hoes who look like they got beat with the same ugly stick/dick/whatever that Brooke Hogan got hit with. In fact they make her look good. My point being though, Mr. Way Gay Way
, is that the homosexual lead of that show would beat thee living fuck outta yo ass! THAT'S RIGHT HOMIE, HE'D DICK YO ASS SO FUCKIN HARD YOU'D BE GIVING BIRTH TO HIS NEXT TWINK DAUGHTER! AND YOU'D STILL HAVE DILDOS STRAPPED TO YO HEAD ALL THE WHILE, TRYIN TO TALK SHIT LIKE YOU RUN THE PLACE BETWEEN DOING HIS LAUNDRY, FOLDING HIS UNDERWEAR, CLEANING THE CUM OUT OF HIS ASS FROM OTHER DUDES, AND WASHING HIS DIZZAMN DIZZISHES!
That's right where you belong, hoe, in the bedroom gettin rammed by dudes with duck haircuts and funny lisps, and then hobbling your drizzling ass into the kitchen to make them some numnums and then washing their fuckin damn dirty dishes with your damn dirty tongue! Lick dat shit, boy! I SAID LICK DAT SHIZZIT! WHAM! WHACK! BAM! BLACK EYE! BROKEN NOSE! WHAT'S THAT? YOU DON'T WANNA WASH OUT MY USED CONDOMS AND CLEAN THE STOVE TODAY? BLIZZAAAAAMMMM NIGGA! SHOTGUN BLAST TO THE EYEBALL!
You ever been shot in the eye, jeah nigga just the eye with a shotgun? You know how much that shit hurts? I don't.
All the while I'm covering these bases and doing a little shopping for free because, guess what?
I'VE GOT A SUPER POWER NOW!
I'VE GOT A SUPER POWER NOW!
I'VE GOT A SUPER POWER NOW!
Awwwww yeah AND THIS BOY WITH THE BIG OL' DICK MEANS A SUUUUUUPER MUDDA FUCKIN POWA!
Here I am in some expensive store that I don't want to name because I don't want to give them free advertising but I'm trying on this here new suit. You like? It's aqua colored and has a really nice red tie.
Here I go turning around looking at my sexy ass self in the mirror to make sure it hugs my junk in allll the right places and I gots-tah-say nigga, Rose Smith is going to cum in her diaper the minute she sees me walking up for our hot date later tonight that I'm getting paid $500 for instead of the usual fiddy bucks because I told her I charge extra if I'm to be seen in public and dressed nice. Look how nice of a cock and ball outline these pants give me.
I twirl my ass around and snap my fingers, strutting all the way through the place like my name was Jeff Flair or Ric Jarrett, but why is it that I'm getting this suit for free you ask?
YEAH YOU BETTER ASK THAT SHIT! YOU BETTER HAVE PAID ATTENTION WHEN I SAID I'M DOING FREE SHOPPING!
But why? How? Just what did Dr. X-tremity do in order to get a free pass in any store he likes?
I'll tell a nigga. Yo boy got blessed with the best super power EVER known to man, woman or child.
You ready, ho?
You all watching?
What about you, Mr. WGWF? Keep yo eyes peeled as I walk up to this fucker behind the counter.
He looks at me, clearly he's a fuckin' fruitcake who likes what he sees but that doesn't matter because my super power is not to turn on guys like Clyde Baker, Sebastian Duke or Azrael Satellite. No no, I'm not here to please the homosexual kind and be their eye candy.
I'm here to get me a free suit!
"Yo nigga, I'M TAKING THIS SUIT!" - Is exactly what da fuck I say to the gay dude behind the counter. He smiled and nods his head and had the audacity to start ringing me up and telling me a price!
"Nah nah, nigga, I said I'M TAKIN' THIS FUCKIN' SUIT, BIZZITCH!" - And my voice being a little more harsh this time seems to make him hesitate. Then he asks me if I'll be paying with cash or charge.
Oh no he didn't.
He did not just ask a mudda fucka with a super power if he was paying with cash or charge.
That's when I do it! THAT'S WHEN I UNLEASH THE GIFT!
BEHOLD!
I drop my pants and I grab my cock.
I start stroking that shit, oh yeah, stroking stroking stroking as THE PEOPLE'S COCK gets harder, harder, HARDER AND HARDER.
Ol' boy behind the counter can't take his eyes off it. You'd think I was the Iron Sheik with his 12 inch cock but no I'm just Dr. X-tremity with a super powered cock!
I stroke my shit and I start to twitch. I go faster and faster, oohhhhhhh yeah baby and it feeeeeels so gooooooood.
Uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh.. Uh uh uh uh uh oh oh oh UH UH UH UH UH
The guy behind the counter starts to feel a little funny down below himself, too. He can't help but touch himself and realize he's erect as fuck right now.
Why?
Because super power, that's why!
I bring myself closer to climax. I stroke, I squeeze, I pull, I tug and I yank my shit around like I was racing around in a stick shift car.
OH GOD! I'M GONNA CUUUUUUUMMMMMM!!!
And right then and there nigga, BAM, my super power kicks in. Instead of ejaculate coming out of MY OWN COCK, the guy behind the counter has no choice but to rip his own pants off and grab his hard ass dick like a fire hose and HE begins to cum MY load!
You hear me right!
I just came THROUGH HIS DICK!
Ol' boy has no control. Do you have any idea how much cum I cum when I cum? I cum so much cum that to cum my cum means you can't come back from it for at least a good 30 to 60 minutes, bruh.
When I orgasm, whoever the fuck I'm looking at right then and there, THEY HAVE THE EJACULATION OF THEIR LIFE!
Look at him, all freaked out looking and holding his dick as it leads him around the whole store now. Squirt squirt squirt nigga, enjoy my ejaculate shooting through and rupturing your main vein! I just got me a freeee suit!
I skip my ass right out the door as he covers the walls, ceiling and floor with my cum. I've heard of other niggas stealing somebody's powers, or being able to control somebody's mind. But me? Admiral Appendage? I leave niggas hunched over and paralyzed by the time I'm done with them. Why take somebody else's powers? Why be able to fly? Why be able to turn into other things? Why shoot lasers from my eyes or dick? Why even bother with the famed SHARK COCK that you all heard so much about in the past?
Fuck it.
I'll just jag the fuck off and look at any mother fucker who I want to take complete advantage of as they have no choice but to break out into full orgasm for anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes. Yeah, I said they'd be fucked up for 30 to 60 minutes and sometimes longer and can you blame them after 5 to 10 MINUTES OF NON STOP CUMMING SO HARD THAT THEIR DICKS FEEL LIKE THEY'RE FLYING OFF THEIR BODIES?
What's more? Oh you thought that was it but it's not. What's more is this power works on any person of any age, but we'll get more into that in my next piece. I wouldn't want to spoil all the fun just yet.
Get ready, Mr. WGWF. Get ready to FEEL. MY. PLEASURE.
By the time I'm done with you, every dick on your body and head is going to be so limp and sore from constant ejaculation that I'll be able to ball your whole body up and bounce you around like a basketball before stuffing you right up Peter Gilmo's ass!
NOW CAN
YOU
SUCK
THAT
NIGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
IF YAH SUH-MEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL............................ ALL THAT SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGE.......... THAT ALL THESE DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDES......................... BE SQUIRTING OUT THEIR DICKS ALL THANKS TO THE MAN WITH THE LARGEST PUMP IN THE WORLD!
BIZZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!
Score so far: New Suit = 1
Next stop, the ice cream shop. Oh yeah babay.
![[-]](https://xwf99.com/images/portal2/collapse.gif)
The following 7 users Like Mr. XWF's post:
![[Image: mikupd.png]](http://i47.tinypic.com/mikupd.png)
![[Image: 2gxfjma.png]](http://i48.tinypic.com/2gxfjma.png)
![[Image: jgtn2t.png]](http://i45.tinypic.com/jgtn2t.png)
