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~~Sweet Cheapshots~~ · **04-01-2013, 08:13 PM**

{Episode 006}"The one in which our hero experiences a nightmare at 20,000 feet."

The location: St. Paul International Airport Time: 7:31pm CT

We sweep in from above and find Sweet Cheapshots and Natalie Foxx ready to board their plane. The sun is beginning it's descent from the sky out the gate's windows. Sweets has a grimace on his face as he tugs his suitcase behind him and gets ready to hand the stewardess his ticket.

Natalie Foxx: "Will you cheer up? You've looked like someone has pissed in your frosted flakes all day."

Sweets isn't really listening...

Sweet Cheapshots: "...thought they tasted a bit funny."

Natalie Foxx: "I'm being serious. Cheer up. You're in the main event on Wednesday."

Sweet Cheapshots: "I wanted to be on the pay-per-view. I'm better than half the guys who made the cut. Instead we've been stuck in Minnesota where twice I was asked if I wanted to watch Lumberjack Wars. That should NEVER happen."

Natalie Foxx: "I'm sure Witasick had his reasons."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Yeah, I bet. I'm starting to think he cares more about ratings than who's filling out his talent roster."

Natalie Foxx: "I don't see why you're so upset. You've been moving further up the card these last few weeks and now you're main eventing like you wanted. Baby steps, Sweets. Baby steps."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Yeah, yeah."

The line slowly trudges forward...

Sweet Cheapshots: "This holding your own carry on is getting old fast. Where the heck is Billy?"

Natalie Foxx: "Well, if your so called 'spiritual advisor' hadn't gotten kicked out of our hotel we wouldn't need Billy to drive him to Atlanta."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Wait. Why are they driving?"

Natalie Foxx: "Apparently the XWF doesn't take too kindly to the talent's entourage wrecking havoc in the hotel they're booked at. They wouldn't penny up for another flight."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Wow, and I thought I was cheap. Also, how is Billy supposed to drive with one good arm?"

Natalie just shrugs.

Natalie Foxx: "No idea. Oh, to be a fly on the wall for that trip..."

Everyone in line shuffles forward another few paces. Sweets, bored look on his face, glances over to the bar right next to the gate. He has to look twice to believe what he's seeing.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Nat, look at this..."

She turns, then follows his line of vision and her eyes widen amused. What they see --

[Image: 32938c10-bba6-40ed-beba-bc8aab92c279_zps37dcc0ce.jpg]

Natalie Foxx: "That's a commitment to fly like that. Let's hope he's not sitting between us."

Sweet Cheapshots: "How did he even make it through security?"

Natalie Foxx: "No idea. C'mon."

Natalie steps forward and hands her ticket to the stewardess who smiles and motions her on through. Sweets is still jarred by the man in costume at the bar, but finally shakes his head, and heads forward to board the plane.

We pull back... back... and we see our narrator step into frame.

[Image: articleLarge.jpg]

"Portrait of a fatigued man: Mr. Sweet Cheapshots, twenty-seven years old, son, friend, lovable jerk and a wrestler making a journey. Mr. Cheapshots is finally leaving the state of Minnesota, tired, grumpy, and with the fear that he smells like maple syrup and the type of desperation you find in strip malls. Tonight, he's flying all the way to his appointed destination, which, contrary to Mr. Cheapshots' plan, happens to be in the darkest corner of The Cheapshot Zone."

Sweet Cheapshots Fun Fact #7:
Sweet Cheapshots has taught old dogs a variety of new tricks.

The location: Inside the plane, duh. Time: 7:49pm CT

We track through the aisle of the plane until we find Sweets loading his bag into the overhead compartment. He takes the sent next to the window. Natalie takes her seat leaving one open in the middle.

Sweet Cheapshots: "What? Do I have cooties, you don't want to sit next to me?"

Natalie Foxx: "No, normally the middle seat belongs to Billy. I know how you like him to rub your feet during the flight."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Oh. Good call. Man, I'm going to miss those soft, porcelain like hands of his."

Natalie rolls her eyes as she starts to get comfortable in her seat. Sweets stares out the window as night has finally fallen.

Voice: "Sorry... excuse me..."

Sweets looks over to see a young man sliding into the seat next to him. He's got a bowl-cut style hair do. Cold. Hazel eyes. Athletic build.

Voice: "Hi there."

Sweets nods politely and goes back to looking out the window.

Voice: "How do you... want to... handle this?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Excuse me?"

Sweets looks down to where the man is staring at the armrest that only one person can use.

Voice: "Do you... want to... take turns... or... ?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "All you. I'm probably going to just curl up here and sleep."

Voice: "Cool... so... you're going to... Atlanta?"

Sweets sighs now, getting annoyed.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Yup."

Voice: "Cool... I'm going for this... big... video game... tournament. Love... video games. Hence... the... t-shirt."

Sweets looks over to see the man wearing a "Flynn's Arcade" t-shirt from the movie Tron.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Good movie. Good luck in your tournament I'm just -- "

Voice: "Sorry to... talk your... ear off. I just get... so... F***KING excited to KILL people in video games... I can't help it."

Sweet Cheapshots: "...right."

Voice: "I'm being rude... my name is... Robert... Robert... Myles."

He extends a hand and Sweets takes it reluctantly and shakes it.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Uh, nice to meet you."

When Robert isn't looking he wipes his hand off on his pants. Sweets tries to get settled, but Robert starts drumming on the armrests. This guy has apparently had too much caffeine. Sweets looks over to Natalie to see if she's seeing this but she's already got her headphones on and is reading a book.

Robert Myles: "I am so F***King excited for this... tournament. You know, believe it or not... I'm KING... OF... THE... MIDway."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Really? That's uh... fascinating and in no way sad. At all."

Robert Myles: "I even had the world record in... Dig Dug... well, for... thirty-one... seconds."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Wow. Impressive. I'm sure that's gotten you laid a lot, Robert."

Robert Myles: "Are... you... mocking me?!?! I'll come... over there and... smack your balls... with a... car antenna."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Jesus Christ, relax pal. I'm kidding."

Robert Myles: "I'm sorry... I have these... violent outbursts... I lost myself back there... for a second."

Sweet Cheapshots: "It's fine. If it's alright by you I'm just going to try to catch some sleep."

A SHORT WHILE LATER.

We find Sweets trying to get some sleep but he can't because Robert is drumming on the armrests like he's Tommy Lee. Oh yeah, he's also singing in a falsetto that every time he hits a super high note Sweets squints his eyes shut painfully.

He finally reaches across Robert and taps Natalie on the shoulder. She takes her headphones off.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Do you have any aspirin?"

She reaches down into her purse near her feet, but comes up empty. Shakes her head at Sweets. He tilts his head back frustrated and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Robert Myles: "Aspirin you said?"

Sweets opens his eyes and sees Robert staring at him. He sighs.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Yes. If you have some."

Robert reaches down into his backpack and pulls out a tiny bottle of aspirin and shakes two into Sweets' hand. Natalie leans over.

Natalie Foxx: "Do you need me to break the aspirin up in your food?"

Sweet Cheapshots: (Scoffs) "What? No..."

He laughs nervously as he chases the pills with a glass of water. He turns to Robert.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Thanks. By the way, what are you listening to at a thousand RPMs over there?"

Robert Myles: "Iron Maiden. Somewhere in Time. It's what... gets me... all jacked up... to kill... rookies who dare... challenge... the most hated man... in the... tri-state... area. "

Sweet Cheapshots: "Well, I'm not one to judge."

Robert Myles: "Though of course... I can't listen to music... too loud... I have tinnitus in my ear... I have to sleep... with a fan... on"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Okay, what's with the dramatic pauses? I feel like you're a bad Bond villain or something."

Robert Myles: "This... is... how... I talk."

Sweet Cheapshots: "No you don't."

Robert Myles: "Yes... I... do."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Seriously, Robert. No one talks like that."

Robert Myles: "Believe what... you want..."

Robert goes back to listening to his music.

Sweet Cheapshots: "I believe I'd like to be drunker right now."

Sweets scrubs at his eyes and stares out the window where the driving rain is pelting the wing. Something catches his eye...

There.

On the wing.

It's the guy in the pig mascot costume!

Sweet Cheapshots: "What in the...?"

Sweets turns away to see if anyone else has seen what he's seen. But Natalie is reading quietly. Robert back to singing in a falsetto.

Sweets looks back to the window where the Pig Man is trying to pull apart the wing--!

Sweet Cheapshots: "Hey!"

Sweets tries to flag down the stewardess who's come over to see what the commotion is. Natalie is looking over concerned. Robert has his headphones off.

Stewardess: "Is there something the matter, sir?"

Sweet Cheapshots: "Yeah I..."

He turns to the window, but the Pig Man is gone. Sweets' jaw drops.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Uh, never mind."

The stewardess gives a fake polite smile and strolls away.

Natalie Foxx: "You feeling alright? You look pale."

Sweet Cheapshots: "I swear I... haha... saw the guy in the mascot costume of all things out on the wing of the plane."

Natalie Foxx: "How many vodka tonics have you had?"

Robert Myles: "Wait, you mean that guy?"

Sweets turns to look out the window but there's no one there.

Robert Myles: "Ah, I'm just... f**cking with you."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Thanks Robert. I appreciate that."

Robert Myles: "Don't... mention... it."

Sweet Cheapshots: "You really need to stop doing that."

Robert smirks and goes back to his music. Sweets tilts his head back and closes his eyes. He tries to fall asleep but can't.

When he opens them Pig Man is staring into the window at him!

Sweets yells. The stewardess with another in tow come running over.

Stewardess: "Sir, are you okay? You're startling the other passengers."

Sweet Cheapshots: "There's... someone, a man... well, he's in a pig costume. He's out on the wing!"

Stewardess: "Sir, I'm going to need you to keep your voice down."

Sweet Cheapshots: "There's someone out on the wing. Take a look!"

The stewardesses, Robert, Natalie and Sweets all look out the window and -- NO ONE THERE. Just the driving rain.

Stewardess: "If you want, sir, we can try to switch seats or --"

Sweet Cheapshots: "No, it's fine. Just... forget I said anything."

Sweets closes the shutter on the window as Natalie stares over concerned. He waves her off and tries to find a way to fall asleep. A cold sweat breaks out on his head.

He can't help it. He has to look again. He peeks at Natalie and Robert who have both gone back to what they were doing. He slowly opens the shutter...

The Pig Man is out on the wing and he's... dancing?

Yes, Pig Man is cutting loose on the wing.

Sweets starts to hear music coming from somewhere.

Sweets turns away from the window and begins to examine his hands which have seemed to turn rubbery. He brings them close to his face to inspect them.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Hey, Robert. What were in those aspirins?"

Robert Myles: "I don't know, maaaaaan. Let me check. Oh, damn... I think I mixed up bottles again."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Natalie I ever tell you your eyes look like space crystals?"

Sweets looks over but Natalie is gone replaced by a Native American who looks over and grins.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Robert, I'm tripping balls. I think my legs are over in the seats across from us."

Robert Myles: "Hang tight... it'll pass... soon... I think."

Sweets looks back out the window where Pig Man lets go of the wing and zips off into the sky. Sweets just shakes his head in disbelief. He turns back to the cabin where the passengers are now doing a conga line down the aisle.

Sweet Cheapshots: "Dikembe?"

A man who looks very much like Dikembe except decked out in Captain's gear is bringing up the rear of the conga line.

Sweet Cheapshots: "I don't think anyone is flying this plane."

Robert Myles: "No problem... I may be overrated... but I know how to pilot a plane... I have many hours logged in flight simulators. Strap in! We're in the danger zone."

Robert unbuckles his seatbelt and takes off for the front of the plane.

Sweets closes his eyes as he can feel the plane start to dip and suddenly the lights go out and the oxygen masks fall from the overhead compartments.

We begin a slow, spiral down.... down... down....

A voice from far off begins to call...

"Sweets?"

"Sweets?"

Darkness...

Then, Sweets finds himself coming to. He squints in pain from having fallen asleep against the window.

He looks down to find Robert asleep and snoring on his shoulder.

He glances over to Natalie who is shaking him awake.

Natalie Foxx: "Hey, we landed."

Sweet Cheapshots: "What? How long was I out for?"

Natalie Foxx: "Pretty much the whole flight. Except when we hit some turbulence because of a passing storm."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Wow, I don't remember that."

~SMASH CUT~

Sweets and Robert holding onto each other as the lights flicker in the cabin. Both screaming at the top of their lungs.

~BACK TO SCENE~

Natalie Foxx: "Probably for the best."

Sweet Cheapshots: "I must have been wrecked."

Natalie Foxx: "Or it was the sleeping pills."

Sweet Cheapshots: "What sleeping pills?"

Natalie Foxx: "The ones I mashed up in your chicken fricassee because you have a gag reflex."

Sweet Cheapshots: "Oh. Well, thanks. Let's get to the hotel. I need a drink."

Sweets pushes Robert off his shoulder and grabs his bag from the overhead compartment. Sweets and Natalie follow the crowd out of the plane and into the airport.

We stay on the plane, though, that can be seen through the gate's window.

If you look real close.... part of the wing of the plane... is torn away...

To be continued....

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode EP006: "The one in which our hero experiences a nightmare at 20,000 feet." (RP#1)
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