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Ricky Maine · (08-09-2014)

Iolani Palace, Downtown Honolulu

Outside the Iolani Palace in downtown Honolulu Ricky Maine and the Politburo wait for their good friend Alohi Hokuikekai from the Hawaiian sovereignty movement. He had asked the three men to join him in a protest against US rule in the hope that their star power would influence Hawaiian youngsters to support the sovereignty movement.

Kaiser: "Hey man the card has been announced, you face Kennedy Nikomedes, the gubbernor of Florida."

Kaiser had just checked his facebook account and found the update from the XWF. Maine looked curiously at Kaiser when he heard he was facing the governor of Florida.

Ricky Maine: "What? The Governor of Florida? You serious?"

Kaiser does a quick google search and all the results say the same thing, indeed Kennedy Nikomedes was the governor of Florida.

Kaiser: "Yeah man google, facebook, wikipedia they all say he's the governor of Florida."

Ricky Maine: "Why the hell would the governor of Florida be a fucking wrestler? Fuck it just another rung on the ladder."

Finally their friend Alohi Hokuikekai arrives. He greets his friends with a traditional haupia pie.

Ricky Maine: "Aloha, brother."

Alohi Hokuikekai:"Aloha, please enjoy the haupia pie. Welcome, welcome to Hawaii, never ceded, never will be. Brothers, today I teach you about the history of the military occupation of Hawaii. Ricky, this will help you get some points over your next opponent, of that I am sure.."

The four men head off next door to the Hawaii State Capitol, or what the native Hawaiians call Haimoeipo, a former Palace of the Hawaiian monarchy. As the group of four quickly turns into hundreds,slogan after slogan are heard screamed out in Hawaiian. Many Hawaiians notice the three white men, they're the only ones after all, and as a result the three men get a serious education in the struggle of the native Hawaiians against the Government of the United States.

Ricky Maine: "This is really an eye opener my friend, I never knew the history of Hawaii, I am with the people of Hawaii and fully support Hawaiian independence.. I do have one question though, you said earlier that this would help me against Governor Nikomedes, how so?"

Alohi Hokuikekai:"Do you not know Governor Nikomedes? He is one of these Libertarians who pines for the days of the good old United States of Lincoln, or Washington, of Coolidge."[/color]

Ricky Maine: "I see. Well I'm in Hawaii for until next Thursday, you've got my number, if you need anything contact me. I'll have some tickets sent to you, just in case you want a front row seat."

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Ricky Maine stands in front of a large American flag as the Presidential march plays in the background, Kaiser can be heard laughing from behind his phone as he records this for his youtube account.

Ricky Maine: "My fellow Americans.. Tonight I bring you a message of... reality. Next week on Warfare I go one on one with the Governor of Florida, the fricking Governor of Florida.. Now I don't know where he finds the time to moonlight as a professional wrestler, but apparently he does. It wouldn't be the first time the people of Florida elected an incompetent Governor, eh Jeb?"

"Last week while I busted my ass to get the win over whatshisname and whatshisnamespartner, the Governor was seeing stars courtesy of Zoey Ryback. Maybe he took a dip in the polls after that loss because nobody has heard from him since."

"Listen Kennedy, you run around the States talking about how you're a man of the masses, how you will bring the second American revolution, how you will bring back the days of Kennedy, Lincoln, Washington, Coolidge.. The only people impressed by bullshit like that are the NRA gun slinging tea party dipshits. Real people don't buy you crap, I don't buy your crap."

"You want the good old days back eh? What good old days would they be? The days of George Washington? When slaves were building this country into the economic powerhouse it is? The days of honest Abe? when he promised to free the slaves, only he forgot to mention they'd still be treated as sub-human? The days of Calvin Coolidge? yeah his laissez-faire policies worked wonders for America, nothing significant happened in 1929, nothing. What about the days of your idol John F. Kennedy? Here's a guy loved by Liberals, yet he was elected in much the same way as a certain Republican in 2000. These good old days you talk about, they ain't good old days for African-Americans, for Native-Americans, for immigrants, for workers, for those struggling in poverty, for Hawaiians."

"See here in Hawaii, the people of Hawaii never wanted to part of the US of A. They were already a free and independent state, without the explicit racism seen in the America of the 1890's. But the Hawaiians were forced into being Americans. Does that work with your political M.O? Did you even know Hawaiian history? Or did you think the natives gladly gave the United States their sovereignty? Here's a little snippet of the Kū’ē Petitions, signed by over half of the adult Hawaiian population in 1897."

Maine puts the document in front of Kaiser's camera phone pointing out what he is reading.

"To his Excellency WILLIAM McKINLEY, President, and the Senate, of the United States of America. Greeting - Whereas there has been submitted to the Senate of the United States of America a treaty for the Annexation of the Hawaiian Islands to the said United States of America, for consideration at its regular session in December A.D. 1897; therefore,

We the undersigned, native Hawaiian citizens and residents of the district of.............Island of.........who are members of the Hawaiian Patriotic League of the Hawaiian Islands, and others who are in sympathy with the said league, earnestly protest against the annexation of the said Hawaiian Islands to the United States of America in any form or shape."

Maine looks at the document before handing it over to Killer Instinct. Now with an intense stare directed at Kennedy Nikomedes through the lens of the camera phone.

"See Niko, you may have the people of Florida fooled with your false promises, but me? Not in a million years. I'm far too smart, far too engaged to listen to the bullshit that flows from your lips. In the end you will end up hosting a show about the fucking twin towers being brought down by mini nukes. Or being some insignificant congressmen who starts a new revolution every election before being humiliated with two votes. Kennedy Nikomedes, next week on Warfare isn't about politics, it's about wrestling and I'm a pro wrestler 100% of the time. You do the math. The way this ends is the same way your political career ends, you tapping out."

Maine drops the mic as Kaiser turns the phone to Killer Instinct, who is wearing a Lincoln inspired top hat.

Killer Instinct: "Fade to black mother fucker, fade to black."

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