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Mastermind · (06-22-2014)

The camera fades in to a forest, and in that was forest, was a clearing, and in the clearing was a camp fire, and a tent. Sitting around the camp fire was Mastermind. He looks at the camera.

"Thank you Mr. Camera Man for coming all this way to shoot my promo. We're a few days away from the Leap of Faith Pay Per View, and I've just had a match on Monday Night Madness, which I lost against Frodo, so I needed a couple of days away in the wilderness, to relax and think straight, and get my head sorted again."

Mastermind looks into the hot flames of the fire, and then back of the camera.

"This Saturday I am involved in the first match of the Pay Per View, for the Ark of the Covenant Title. There are six of us in this match, which includes myself, the Ark of the Covenant Champion, Mr. XWF, Alexandra Callaway, JJ Zilla, Soupcan O'Malley, and Joey Hawkins. It's a 20 Minute Xtreme Rules match where the title can change hands over the course of the 20 Minutes, and then once the 20 Minutes is up when the bell rings, the one who holds the belt is the true champion.

"This brings me to a story that I want to tell. It involves the 6 of us, and in a way how this story is related to this match."

Mastermind looks back into the fire, and then grabs something beside him. It's a stick with marsh mellows on it.

"I love roasted marsh mellows."

Mastermind puts the stick into the fire where the marsh mellows are heated, then after a minute or so, pulls it out. He grabs the first one and starts eating it. He finally finishes the first marsh mellow.

"Okay so this is a story that is from my home land of New Zealand. The native people of New Zealand are called Maori. Most like the native american indians here in America. So let's get started."

Mastermind holds his hands up to the fire to feel the warmth.

"We go all the way back to the start of time, when there is nothing but just darkness."

"And then came the light, the beginning of the universe."

Mastermind pulled the 2nd marsh mellow off of the stick, and ate it.

"And in that light came planets. We all know that Earth was one of those planets. But according to the Maori, earth was not as we know it now. Earth was stuck together between the sky father, and the earth mother. The sky father to the Maori is called Ranginui."

"Let's say Soupcan O'Malley is our representative of Sky Father.

"Mother Earth is called Papa -tu-a-nuku,

"Let's say our representative is the beautiful Alexandra Callaway, as she's the only female in our match."

Mastermind smiles, and grabs his third marsh mellow, and eats it.

"Now according to the Maori, because they were stuck together Rangi-nui (sky father), and Papa-tu-a-nuku (mother earth) had over 90 children. The Maori called these children gods. Now before you guys get any funny ideas, you are not gods.

"One by one these children wanted their parents separated, because they knew there was something better outside, one by one they tried to separate their parents, but failed. The love between Rangi-nui, and Papa-tu-a-nuku was too strong for their children to pull them apart."

Mastermind smirks, and eats the fourth marsh mellow.

"The only child that was able to pull Papa-Tu-A-Nuku and Rangi-Nui apart was Tane-Mahuta. He became known as the god of the forest. Of course he was a tree. That spread his roots in mother earth and pulled it's branches into the sky, to keep Rangi-Nui apart from Papa-Tu-A-Nuku."

"So let's just say Mr. XWF who is the current Ark of the Covenant Champion, is Tane Mahuta. Because he's erect, and dare I say he thinks of himself as the People's Cock. So what happens when cock's are stiff? They are erect. So that's why Mr. XWF is Tane Mahuta in this story. So we've got Soupcan O'Malley as Rangi-nui (sky father) we all know what the sky is like when there's chaos. Thunder and Lightening. So Soupcan O'Malley is dangerous, he can be between us like a flash.

"Then there's Papa-Tu-A-Nuku (Mother Earth), we all know what Mother Earth can do when crossed. She can cause earthquakes. So expect Miss Alexandra Callaway to be quite rumbling and rolling into the match.

"Then Mr XWF who is Tane Mahuta (God of the Forest), he can use his arms to whip us like branches.

"But then there are three of us left, that I haven't talked about. Let's say JJ Zilla is the God of the Ocean. To the Maori that god is called Tangaroa.

[Image: 11954371941446430571wave2_cefa_01.svg.hi.png]

"It is said that the Maori believe that if you are at the beach and dealing with the ocean, you should never turn your back on the waves, because if you do it's a sign of disrespect, and so Tangaroa will knock you off your feet. So if we turn our backs against JJ Zilla and not respect him, he's going to come and sweep us off our feet and knock us over.

Mastermind grabs the fifth marsh mellow and ate it.,

"Then there is Joey Hawkins, he reminds me of a Matt Hardy type figure, so that means if you piss him off you'll get a volcanic anger type of person. The Maori called Volcanoes Urunui. God of the unborn volcanic because he's the only child that hasn't left Papa-tu-a-nuku."

"So in Joey Hawkins we have to watch out for his eruptive influence. He can blow is stack at any time, and then we'd all be in trouble.

"And then last but not least comes me. What do you think I am? I am Tawhiri-Matea. God of the wind."

"I consider myself to be able to blow in, throw people off of their feet, off of their game, get them on their back foot, win the match and blow out again.

"So to finish off the story, this match will start with all 6 of us in the ring, all 6 personalities will be different, and all 6 is gunning for that title. Who is going to take that Leap of Faith and win the belt? That is the question. I know I have the confidence to win this match. I have the faith, and I am that dam good. Do any of you have that faith?"

Mastermind looks at the fire.

"And that ladies and gentlemen is the end of story time."

Mastermind clicks his fingers and the camera fades out.

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