As the hands of time spin on the clocks face, Morbid Angel still remains VICTORIOUS! Unbeaten in his matches in this federation. He of course is proud of that but will not openly say so. Over the last few weeks Morbid has experienced a lot of new things and had given himself not too much time for anything else. He is a true workaholic at heart…He finds new spots to enjoy in the most unlikely places…On a trip throughout the country side where he was hunting for a new project house to restore just two days drive from Morbidonia, he passed a small junk yard on a single lane road. He gave it no attention considering he was not looking at cars as much as he was for mansions that were in dire need of restoration. He turned around 20 minutes past and came back down and saw the rear end of a 1960’s Hearse! Morbid Angel slams on his breaks and came to a screeching halt! Everyone knows that Morbid Angel is more of the unusual type that considers himself a bit of an oddity…quite morbid and kinda like a lame vampire goth mixed with a dash of emo but that is something you can’t mention to him…that wouldn’t go over well.

Morbid had a love for the Cadillac Superior Hearse! Though he was a Lincoln man, he still felt that the best funeral car was a Cadillac!

After jacking on his breaks he rips down into the junkyard with his Navigator and sees the cornucopia of his enjoyment (metaphorically speaking).
The road was narrow and the trees limbs were scraping the doors and roof the his vehicle…and yet he didn’t care! He kept going through the sea of long since retired Hearses mixed with old ambulances. He quickly stops and jumps from the car into a mud puddle…he hardly seemed to notice. He pulls a pair of glasses from his top pocket and puts them on to get a better view of what he got into…sitting before him was something that could be considered his heaven and most likely your hell. More than 25 Hearses and Flower Cars…just sitting in the mud. Some from the 1930’s all the way up to the 1970’s. Morbid gets a grin of the most wickedness nature on his face as he walks down a narrow pathway, stopping every few cars to take a look inside. He walks up to a 1965 Flower Car and wipes away the filth from the window and looks in while shaking his head in approval! Morbid continues walking towards the back of the lot hoping that someone would see him and offer assistance. How could someone not see him walking through this decaying yard?
Morbid stops beside a 1950’s model Hearse. The car was faded black mixed with crimson red from the rust, he reached out and touched the yellowed glass with his fingers. The curtains in the rear of the vehicle were still hanging but shredded like a pack of demonic wild animals were fighting inside. The front seats were gone leaving the old steering wheel jutting from the dash, the plastic long since fallen off from the sun damage.
Morbid kept nodding his head as he walked up and down the vehicle, he randomly starts pointing at the ones he wanted to take with him…who was he pointing for? Fuck your question! This is Morbid Angel! There is no reason for him sometimes.

There was an abandoned house deep in the woods which was obviously abandoned long ago. The windows were smashed out and the paint long since vanished into the soil. Perhaps it was an old funeral home that when the owner died the family just left it to rot…probably not considering the field of old vehicles…but there must be a funeral home around here somewhere! Or even yet…living people to inquire!

Morbid starts mumbling to himself in an in auditable tone as he walks deeper into a tree smattered area. The cars became less and less but were better preserved, the trees gave them shelter from harsh seasonal changes and random looters who for some reason took their looting asses to the country, hours away…just to smash some old windows and steal seats. Makes perfect sense!

As he went deeper he was stepping over random long since fallen trees and random car parts. Behind the abandoned house there sit’s a lone hearse. It looked like someone had drove it there and parked it not too long ago. The tires still had air in them and the entire car looked cleaner than the others around….Morbid looked through the window and sees the keys still hanging in the ignition. Morbid takes a quick look around and pops the door and opens it. He mischievously reaches in with a limited hope the car would turn over…sometimes you just never know. He looks down at the ripped leather seat as he twists the key…not even so much as a sound! Morbid shrugs and not even shocked. As Morbid retracted from the car he pulls his cell phone from his pocket and quickly dials a number.



Morbid Angel-”Yes, I need to get a flatbed to….I think this is Radersdorf Rd….Alabama…….in about an hour?…..fine!….I need a big one!……..A really BIG one!…..JUST FUCKING DO IT DAMNIT!…..hello?….hello?….”



Morbid quickly redials.



Morbid Angel-”Allow me to start with my apology…….no……FINE! Double! But I want a few vehicles!….You are scamming me!…….You’ll know it when you see it!….LOOK FOR THE BIG MOTHERFUCKER ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD NOT HAPPY!”


Morbid hangs up the phones and walks back to the street where he see’s some people who live in the rundown house up the street…they were just looking at Morbid who was looking at them looking at him! Morbid takes another quick look around before taking a deep breath and starts a speed walk towards the staring people. Rain started to fall and Morbid walks to his Navigator and grabs his hat… the same hat that he wore while fucking with Miranda Tigris and stuffs it on top of his head as he storms across the road.

The rain came down in a pour, soaking him within a few seconds. The wind kicked up causing the rain to hit harder. The rain fell from the hat’s brim still hitting Morbid Angel in the face. His look was not one of pleasure but for purpose. One would believe the devil was heading they way he looked! Morbid was not one for friendly smiles or even the gift of pleasurable company!
As Morbid Angel approached they watched him coming because who couldn’t? This was probably one of the largest man most people would ever see. Morbid boldly walks up the steps of the porch and stops about 3 feet from them. Morbid towers over these people. The look in their eyes were of terror and Morbid Angel knew he could control them in any conversation!

Morbid removes his hat and holds it lightly against his chest with his left hand and gives a slight bow and introduces himself with his thick mashed Russian/German accent.



Morbid-”My name is Kyril Krizcheiv, I have come to you this day in interest. I would like to speak with the owner of that property.”



Morbid Angel gestures with the hat still in his hand to where his vehicle is parked.
The man of the house starts to speak but not too loud or even too strongly…just incase…



Man-”That there property belongs to me. My brother left it to me when he died 3 years ago, God rest his soul. Them’s is his cars. Kyril is it?”



Morbid Angel-”Please, Call me Morbid…all my friends do. I would like to buy some of those Hearses.”


Man-”They are not for sale. My brother loved those cars, they are all I have left of him.”



Morbid Angel-”You’re brother is dead and will never return to work with those cars again. I am offering you a chance to fulfill his dreams of those cars.”



Man-”I apologize sir but I will not part with them.”



Morbid Angel-”Typical American! Unable to give up something they don’t need! You would rather allow your family to sit here in filth eating hard, moldy bread and drink goat’s milk from that sad sickly goat out back! You would turn down money and allow them to suffer!? For what?! YOUR DEAD BROTHER’S FUCKING CARS!?”


The man is noticeably shaken by the change in Morbid’s tone



Man-”I will have to ask you to leave now sir. You are frightening the women.”



Morbid steps closer to the man and peers down at him with the most intimidating stare (insert trademark stare!)






Morbid Angel-”I will not leave here without those cars! GIVE ME A FUCKING PRICE!”



The man looks at his wife.




Man-”Call the police.”




Morbid Angel’s eyes widen with anger and frustration. Morbid will not allow this to all just stop he is fully invested! One won’t simply ask Morbid to go away…you have to give him what he wants in order for him to leave.
Morbid calmly puts his hat on the dirty railing and grabs the man by his shirt and lifts him off of the ground so they can see eye to eye. The man looks frightened beyond words.


Morbid Angel-”What is your name?”


A few moments go by before the man answers.


Man-”J-J--Jimmy”



Morbid Angel-”Jimmy, tell your wife to not call the police otherwise you are going to have a really bad day really fucking fast!!”


The man calls off his wife and Morbid puts him back on the ground.



Morbid Angel-”Give me a price for the cars…I don’t want all of them. Just maybe 3 or 4...possibly 5 and that’s all.”



Jimmy-”I guess make me an offer.”


Morbid Angel-”No…This isn’t how negotiations work. You give me a price and I will go from there. I don’t want to insult you.”



Jimmy thinks for a few moments



Jimmy-”$150 each?”



Morbid Angel-”I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you $500 each and a discount funeral. Say 40% off at the Halls of Eternity. That’s my funeral parlor….Now lets get some keys and paperwork started!”



Morbid reaches out and shakes the mans hand



Morbid Angel-”Cash or check?”


Jimmy-”Doesn’t matter how you pay me.”


Morbid Angel-”Doesn’t matter? How about I give you 500yen? It does matter. American cash, Euros, Yen or check that can be cashed at most banks in America?”


Jimmy-”American cash is fine.”


Morbid Angel-”Excellent!”




Morbid pulls his wallet from his pocket and counts out a stack of cash for Jimmy. $2500 in all! Morbid looks at the man and cracks a small smile and hands him the cash.


Morbid Angel-”I already called for a tow and it will be here shortly."



Morbid turns and grabs his hat while Jimmy goes inside to get the keys and titles to the ones that have them still. Morbid walks off to his car and awaits the tow truck…and to speak to Griffin McAlister.



Morbid Angel-”Griffin….goddamn! I think this will be the third time I defeated you in the ring this year…some things never change! Figuring you would be like McBride and hiding from my wrath but no…you are always trying to get in the way of some shit! Today it is trying to get my titles! MY FUCKING TITLES! THESE ARE MINE!

This may shock you a little Griffin but I know some things about you. You are a momma’s boy! In fact I have it on good authority that she use to wash you in the bath all the way up until she died not too long ago…I believe it was mother’s day when she died…mysterious gunshot and choking I believe! Bad way for a heifer to go…How’s the Kia Rio? I believe that it isn’t looking so hot anymore.

So you know I have been paying attention to you even though I didn’t say anything for a while. I been noticing some things I want to bring up…you mention the word “Bullshit” for everyone like everyone you talk to is a liar…am I to believe that everyone is a liar except you in this federation? It comes across like you expect me to believe that everyone is and you are trying to trick this entire federation into believing that I, Morbid Angel is also a liar. Claiming that I have a made up world in my head…everything in here is real! As real as can be! You are the one that is lying to yourself! You want everyone to believe your lie! The lie of a drugged up high school dropout that really hasn’t done anything except steal an old woman’s panties! And that is not something you should be bragging about! This walking joke that you are talking about is a double champion here in the XWF and…OH YEAH! that’s right! You lost your partner then your titles to fucking Frodo Smackins and Scorpio! How awesome is that? Not very considering that they are the lowest form of life here. Were talking Frodo Smackins claim to fame is crack and fucking his kids…Scorpio fucks Wendy’s burgers and laughs a lot…and you lost to them! How is that for a joke? That doesn’t seem very funny to me…well…it is funny to me! But it shouldn’t be funny to you because…well…that made you look bad!

You also mentioned that you are not big on titles or trinkets…just stomping the shit out of people…why are we having this title match again? If I recall correctly, you are suppose to be having a match against Mandii for the Xtreme title….oooooohhhhh yeah…I beat the champion! And now we fight for the title…considering that you were in fact a champion for months and lacked any defense of your said titles tells me that you are a man for the shiny things. You love them titles! You love those victories! You are a simple man holding shit dear to you and claiming that it is nothing more than luck. Do you find yourself lucky? Do you feel lucky? Do you think the gods rain down title shots and belts and victory to those who don’t want them? This is a lottery and if you play you get shots. You played to get title shots. Don’t treat me like the fool you are…you know you love to win and you know you love to have titles! VICTORY FOREVER!

Perhaps you missed our little match…I know…you were all fucked up! But I beat your ass so badly! You were nothing more than a heap on the floor until you stabbed me in the face! As the video recalls you started to cry and everyone knows I can’t pin a vagina! It is a cheap victory if I do! How can I face the Devil when I die and tell him I pinned a coward? I can’t do it…I just can’t do it…

One thing for sure is that I always follow through! I defeated everyone I came across! Except those who ran away! You ran from me twice…Diaz ran away and I believe the Phantom Stranger died of AIDS or some shit…he just kinda left after his failure!

Hmm…fucktard banter? Do I smell jealousy? It feels like you are jealous of my ability to annunciate! I speak clearly unlike you who mumbles like a stoned child with Hydrocephalus. Puts you in perspective when you think of how high you are all the time. Trying to figure out what’s wrong with me is like trying to figure out what’s wrong with yourself…there is only one person who knows the truth behind the Victory Forever and you are far from that person to even claim to know…you are pissing in the wind trying to figure it out but you never will! You are scrambling but you have nothing except the same shit other have already said trying to stop me…grasping at straws and not even catching one.”



Morbid walks around and seats himself in one of the Flower Cars and moves the seat back to fit himself inside. Morbid looks happy with it, he shuts the door and rolls down the window and puts his arm out the window and looks back at the camera…


Morbid Angel-”Griffin, what do you think of this car? Original isn’t it? Fucking beautiful!…needs a bit of paint but give me some time and it’ll go! The more I look around here I can’t stop thinking of which one of these I will put your hbody in to take it to the cemetery. Take this one for example…this one right here is rare and all fixed up it will be something…Look how long….the size alone is amazing! I might go ahead and die from excitement myself! Think of all the death that these vehicles catered to! And don’t worry Griffin, I will clean it out and fix it up before I put you in it…I’m not that mean!”