"Are you ready? Have I kept you waiting long enough? Are you even still here?"

"Oh look at that, you are. Bully for me."

"I mean...oh good, there you are. You're still here. Wonderful. Then let us begin. Don't worry Laz, I see you in the back eagerly awaiting the start of my story but I'll pretend I don't as to not embarrass you in front of the others. Just remember when I'm through here, you and I need to have a little chat on assuming things and what you become when that's done."

"So here goes. My uprising into greatness, by Axle King -- The King of all Kings,"

++ The Rise Of A King ++

Saturday, June 25, 2009
Sunny Skies Groceries
Peoria, Arizona

The day started off like many before it. With me waking up at seven forty-four in the a.m and having just sixteen minutes to shit, shower and shave before I was headed off to the mind numbing, remedial task of working at the local grocery store. Sunny Skies, also known as my hell on earth. The rent had to get paid somehow and even though I am amazing, getting cash for being amazing was not within my powers at that time. So I had to settle for what I could get. An illustrious career in the grocery retail biz, at nine twenty-five an hour. A position I had held for a year and six months, with the final hopes of a raise just around the corner. A whopping thirty-three and a half cents! It's really all about those half cents. Fucking worthless pieces of shit. I could shove that thirty-three and a half cents up their asses. Ah, but such is the life of living like a scrub when you're destined for so much more. Back then I didn't know it. Oh no, back in those days I had the urge to become something better and the drive to do more but not much else. And it definitely showed because there I was showing up in my light blue Hyundai; at five minutes past eight, to slide on into work and hope the boss didn't see I was just a hair off my scheduled clock in time. An unrequited fantasy that always started with me at the time clock breathing an unwarranted and early sigh of relief as I slid my punch card into position and ended with the annoyed huff of Mr. Baker -- the day manager, standing behind me after I pulled that freshly punched card out into the open. I really needed to get Carla -- the assistant day manager, to start punching me in on time to avoid all this. After all I was fucking her. Least she could do was show some gratitude so I could avoid the pain of facing that jackass.

Mr. Baker: "Axle, what time is it?"

"Oh, I don't know Mr. Baker. My sun dial was smashed in the night by a rowdy group of hooligans."

Mr. Baker: "Ah, I see. Well maybe you should invest in a clock or better yet an alarm clock to avoid this from ever happening again."

"Golly-gee, I sure wish I could but sadly the nine twenty five an hour just doesn't let me factor in whimsical expenses of buying a clock; much less your fancy alarm clock, after paying the rent. But maybe -- just maybe, after I get that thirty-three and a half cent raise. I'll be able to afford one. I'll have to cut out eating that month in order to pull it off but lord knows seeing your happy face when I show up on time to sell; day old bread, rotten meat and expired milk -- all redated to fool people into thinking it's actually safe to consume, well that would make it all worth it."

Mr. Baker: "You've got a smart mouth, Axle. You think you're funny and your attitude stinks. None of that helps when you're coming into work late. Now I know you're named after that long haired freak who fronts that band of noise polluters and who knows what your parents were thinking when they named you after that guy; clearly not thoughts of anyone ever taking you seriously, but you aren't a rock star and you can't come to work late like one would."

"Mister. Baker. I can only assume you must be referring to the great Axl Rose. And that's A-X-L, not A-X-L-E, which is my name. Anyway, while Guns and Roses are a kick ass, real rock and roll band and I'm sure Mr. Rose in his heyday didn't rise before the crack of 4pm to start his day. Which I'm also certain would never lead to him clocking into work at a local grocery store. That is unless the opiates he had taken the night before were still alive in his system when he woke up and somehow clouded him into thinking he was tasked with such a job. I seriously doubt that happened though, just like I know this is nothing comparable to me showing up in a 'rock star' late fashion. Now I might be a whole five minutes late but I'm here now and I complete my duties when I'm here. Never once was there a line stacked with more than two people, when I've stood behind a register. I get zero complaints from customers, I don't bitch about my pay or my hours and I do my job. Which is a combo that can't be said by a majority of the shitheads that manage to 'worker bee' it in here on the exact dot of their scheduled punch in time. So I suggest you either get the fuck off my nuts and let me get to it or fire me. But I guarantee if you fire me, you better hope my doppelgänger walks in the door and applies for a job right after because by noon, when the lines are chock full of the geriatric, the drunks coasting on a hangover to their next twelve pack, the oversexed middle aged house wives eager to flirt with any one but their husband and the countless stream of others jammed into those lines, all complaining because god forbid they need to stand in a line for over three minutes, you won't know what to do and you''ll have no one to blame but yourself for that."

Mr. Baker: "Just get to work. And try to make it in ON TIME from now on."

"Yes, sir. Mr. Baker, sir."

Yeah, Mr. Baker's bark was worse than his bite and that's usually what would come of him reprimanding me. I knew me showing up late made him look bad to other workers but I really didn't do it to accomplish that. I busted my ass for that dipshit and there's no way I was going to let him make me feel like I was committing a crime by showing up five minutes late. So far that I had to make him realize his error. Really all of it was a mess that could have been avoided if my punch card found its way into the time clock -- curtsy of Carla, before I showed up. Then again I might just show up at noon if that happened.

Anyway, there I was clocked in and ready to begin my shift of tedious repetition. The dull delirium of working food checker at a grocery store. The mindless mantra of swiping food items and the sea of customers all waiting for that moment when you scanned something and it came up the wrong price. If that happened they got the item free and the satisfaction of getting that container of; two eighty-eighty when it should have been two eighty-four, three bean salad -- free, was something that fueled the consumers frequenting Sunny Skies Groceries to the status of ravenous vultures. It was both funny and depressing. Though I think the most depressing fact was that I was behind the register and had to deal with any of that at all. Oh well, at least Hector -- the one armed, one eyed, four foot five, illegal Mexican immigrant, had my back. And despite the fact that he punctured food products with his hook, smelled of rotten cheese and his usage of the English language was intangible at best, I loved that midget Mexican pirate. In a barely know him, would never associate with him outside of this hell hole, sort of way.

Hector: "Glorious mornings senior. ¿Eres ready for mucho grindings daily?"

"Glorious mornings to you too, Hector. Now while I'm always ready for many grindings and that's only from the female kind; sorry to burst your bubble there buddy, I am also ready for the daily grind that is the soul crushing existence, working here is."

Hector: "¿Qué?"

"Exactly. Hey why don't you see if we need some paper bags before people start showing up with their groceries."

Hector: "¿Qué?"

"Why don't you get some paper bags just in case we need them."

Hector: "¿Qué?"

"Never mind."

Hector: "¿Qué?"

Yes, that was how all our interactions went. No matter the situation was or what I said, it always went that way. We also always wound up not having any paper bags when that one freak insistent on having his groceries; not only bagged but double bagged in them, showed up. Gotta love those true arboriculturists.

Then as the day progressed and I slowly slipped into the zombie like trance induced by hours of swiping objects over that; green light flashing, high-pitched sonic 'boop' emitting, price scanner, I failed to notice fate staring me in the face until it was accompanied by the sound of an irritated throat clear. What I came face to face with after that, was the person who would change my life forever.

Her name was Contessa Della Lee Lori Montague. Attractive in a very striking fashion but more than that was the instant magnetism I felt hit me when our eyes met. Now this was beyond any sort of romantic or primal need to bone sense. This was something else entirely. This was earth shattering, worlds colliding, unmistakable mesmerism. I felt the draw and allure of what this woman possessed, without her uttering a word. I could sense the power she wielded and that fascination and enchantment only grew when she spoke.

Contessa Della Lee Lori Montague: "Are you happy with your job here?"

It was a question I had heard many times before and always shrugged off but this time -- this time, it was different. This time I took a more serious tone when addressing it. I have to confess it was a strange moment.

"Not particularly but it pays the bills. I have a roof over my head and money in my pocket so that's good I guess. I'm not miserable or left in need of things. I get by and for the most part I suppose I'm happy in that."

Contessa Della Lee Lori Montague: Are you? Are you really happy in merely existing and slowly inching by. Just making ends meet and simply surviving on the meager wages allotted to you for being the monkey at the local grocery shop?"

"Hey."

Contessa Della Lee Lori Montague: "I'm sorry, the handsome monkey at the grocery shop."

"That's better. I'm the best looking monkey here and I'm damned proud of it."

Contessa Della Lee Lori Montague: "Are you? Are you really proud of just being that or do you want for something more in life? Something better perhaps? A role more deserving of you? I can help you achieve that. I can see you possess the look of greatness and beyond it, I'm willing to bet the mind and will to match that look, follows close behind. You know, I can help you achieve that greatness in life as well. I have the tools to assist in that. You simply must want for it yourself and then ask."

It sounded good. But some woman walks up randomly asking questions and talking like that; magnetism or not, you start to think someone's been forgetful of their meds. People don't usually talk like that unless they're missing the pill to keep them from sounding crazy or took too many of the ones that made them crazy.

"Listen lady I'm flattered you think I have the potential to be something better and want to help me become something great. I'm also a little intrigued on what these tools of the trade are. I'm picturing thigh high fishnets and a pair of black high heels. Which look great on you in my head by the way. The thing is though, I just don't buy into the stock that some lady talking like you do, has the power to make claims like your doing and actually produce results. Now I'm sure you can move mountains with the skills you possess. I'm actually starting to regret not pretending to buy into what you're selling just so I can get a look at those skills in action. Still I have to say I pass on your pitch. Thanks anyway."

Contessa Della Lee Lori Montague: "Silly boy. I have no want or desire to seduce you and I don't help people become more than what they are by simply spending a few moments on my back. I give people the empowerment and the enlightenment to do those things for themselves. If you don't believe me I can show you right now."

"Okay show me right now how to get something more. Please feel free to loosen up and lose a few clothing items while your at it, Hector hasn't seen a women disrobing since -- since never, I assume."

Contessa Della Lee Lori Montague: "You're foolish and perverse of tongue. You'll do wonderful in the spotlight. But as I said before, I don't physically do anything to make you improve. I just assist in your ability to do that on your own and I can do that now if you like."

"Go for it."

I was definitely curious in what she could do or say. Though I was doubtful. At that moment I didn't believe in what I now realize was the truth.

Contessa Della Lee Lori Montague: "You want more money in this job, correct? More money means more trinkets, a better place to live, a nicer car, and all the provisions that come with those upgrades. My guess is you'd be mostly interested in the women that would be associated with achieving all that. So if you want for those things, ask."

"I can't just ask for those things. Who would I ask anyway? Hector? Is Hector my secret Mexican genie who will grant me all I wish for? It figures all this time he's been holding out on me. Though it serves me right for working here all this time and not once attempting to learn Spanish."

Contessa Della Lee Lori Montague: "You hide behind that sense of humor of yours. We'll have to fix that. People can see fear and weakness behind that false sense of bravado those jokes provide. Now I said you had to ask for what you want and what you want stems from more money. More money comes from your employer and the embodiment of that is the manager who stands just a mere twelve feet from this register. Walk up to him, look him in the eye and tell him you want a raise. Don't crack a joke, don't divert your attention or try and embellish what you want is something you don't also need. Speak firm and direct. The results should prove what I say is true. If not, he'll just tell you to get back to work and you'll be proven I was wrong and I can't help you. If he does give you a raise though, I want you to immediately quit and come with me. From there there won't be a limit in what you can do."

It was a funny proposal and I fully expected it to fail. I had been working at this place for a year and six months and just now the possibility of a thirty-three and a half cent raise loomed in the future. If I could have just asked for a raise and got it, I would have done it by now. Still I walked over to Mr. Baker, looked him in his beady eyes and stated...

"I want a raise."

Mr. Baker: "A what?"

"A raise. A pay increase. I work here and do an exceptional job and so I deserve more money for doing it. I want a raise and you should give it to me."

Mr. Baker: "Well how much are we talking here?"

This was not the way I expected this to go at all. I thought I'd get laughed at and ridiculed for my 'rock star' expectations. Having the name Axle, really did fuel his fire to always do that. So when he asked how much I was talking, I decided to really test this out. Plus I was a little nervous of just blindly quitting without a plan and so I felt if I was denied, that proved the crazy lady wrong and we could forget all this.

"Five dollars."

Yeah a five dollar raise seemed like a lot at the time. Now I wipe my ass with that.

Mr. Baker: " A five dollar raise? Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack. I deserve it. You know it. So make it happen."

Mr. Baker paused and in that moment I felt a strange sensation come over me. I knew I was going to get what I wanted. I knew it. There was something in that pause he made that just set of my internal sensors off and I knew my request would be met.

Mr. Baker: "Yeah alright. I'll talk to corporate about raising your pay and get it set up. Just don't go inciting others to do the same. We can't give everyone five dollar raises."

I couldn't believe it. I mean I knew he was going to do it before he said he would but after the fact, it was still very surprising. I was actually put into a slight shock from it, which explains the ease of what happened next.

"I quit."

I didn't even acknowledge what happened with Mr. Baker after that. I was too engrossed in the fact that I was willingly walking off with a woman who promised greatness at my fingertips, with just the advisement of a few words. So things were sort of a blur from there. I was living on the high of the possibility and my actions didn't sink in until I was in her car and driving off.

"What the fuck did I just do?"

Contessa Della Lee Lori Montague: " You took charge of your life and now that you know you can do that, nothing will ever stop you. Nothing."