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Walter "Waldo" Wilcox · (09-27-2013)

The Narrator

How often do we really look beyond the outward appearance of a person and go inside the cover to find who the story is all about? Nobody ever really looked into the heart of Tyler, no, he was just seen as what they saw on the outside. He was a skinny, nerd-like looking boy who was quiet and got picked on. Nobody is really sure why he was picked on, I guess he was just the target of another person with a small [strike]penis[/strike], err, life of their own and was jealous of his. It's a story people know all too well these days. Various companies are pushing out different ads to stop bullying, but back then, there wasn't any of that. It was you stood up to your bully, or just let things happen and move on with your life. Sure, it may have scarred you a little but it was just a part of the strange thing we call life. It's a journey. No road is ever the same.

Let's take a moment to tell our JOKE OF THE DAY...

What's red and white? Give up? I hear quite a few answers, and some aren't even funny. The answer? I'll tell you.. pink.

Thank you for listening to my JOKE OF THE DAY...

Tyler never really enjoyed being picked on by the bullies he went to school with. Let's be honest, does anyone really enjoy getting picked on? I guess a few odd people who like the feeling pain.. you know.. those people who dress up in black leather, bring out some whips and handcuffs, have safe words, and drop candle wax on.. whoops. Haha. I apologize. Weird people like getting picked on. We'll just stop there and let your imagination come up with a parallel illustration to get the point.

If only Tyler were Charlie from the story of the Chocolate Factory and he had won a golden ticket. Now that, would be an interesting story to tell. How about we dream it? Our friend Waldo is dreaming it right now.

End of The Narrator

It's snowy in a big city. The location must be use to it as people are still going to work and the kids are still in school. Far from the 'big city' is a little old village where the lower class live. The houses have leaks and they wash clothes the old fashion way. There's no stoves on these homes. They cook over a fire in the fireplace and often have a poor man's soup, meaning whatever they can get their hands on that's eatable goes in the pot. In one of the homes is a family, larger than the average who live in the homes due to health reasons on some of the grandparents. In the home is a father, mother, son, and both the parents .. parents. Seven total. The grandparents are mostly bed-ridden and can't do a whole lot of moving. It's a sad seen really, but they try to keep their heads up and stay content.

One day, it's announced on television that a big-time chocolate factory, known as

's F'n Delicious Chocolate Factory, is hosting a special once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to visit the secret factory. You must buy a candy bar made by them, and the first few who get a golden ticket inside will be allowed to bring yourself and one guest with you for a visitation. Waldo would surely love to win one of those. He's never had much luck winning anything really. Poor guy. It's a LONG SHOT. It's like the chances of winning the jackpot with a lottery ticket. It happens, but it's rare.

Several days go by......................

It's announced that a German named Pete Gilmore has won the first golden ticket. Then, a chewing gum brat named Alexandra Callahay had won a golden ticket. A spoiled rich girl named Christa Nash finds one, thanks to her parents money buying millions of bars. Then a demon named Gari (real name Stevie Tiler) wins a golden ticket, even after not really liking chocolate. He didn't even eat the damn bar! Then, only one ticket remained. Waldo had found some money lying on the street and was able to buy another candy bar... and guess what.. the.. fuck.. happened? Waldo got a golden ticket!

They all get to to the factory and are all anxious to enter in the great building. Nash and Callahay look at each other with jealousy. Gary and Peter look at each other wondering who is actually the tougher of the two. Then they all turn to Waldo. The one who doesn't really fit. They all start to pick fun of his clothes and the way he looks. It's all too familiar. The demon, Gary, changes into a little man himself known as Stevie Tyler and walks over to Waldo and shakes hands. Waldo found a friend. Silence comes across everyone circling the building.. awaiting the man in charge to walk out in public for the very first time. A man walks out with a cane, then stumbles and is standing again normal. The crowd claps. It's David "Mystical"

. He's the son of a well known dentist named Shane

. He went against being a dentist and became the great candy genius instead.

Waldo wakes up from the crazy dream he's having. He looks around and notices his clock says 1pm. He's overslept and has a few things he'd like to do today. Waldo wants to go out and party. He gives himself a few slaps on the face to wake himself up and get alert. He picks up his phone and sees no missed calls, no text messages, and one email. He's not too happy about that and only wishes to have more friends. The email is supposed junk mail from adamandeve.com saying he gets special 50% discount on all orders above $35. He deletes it.

He goes over and cooks himself a few turkey sausage patties, 2 slices of turkey bacon, egg whites, an orange, and fixes a glass of soy milk for his beverage. As he's enjoying his delicious brunch, he decides to psych himself up for another XWF promo. He feels he's getting better, but is a long ways away from being a contender for anything. He sets up his iphone to record a video.

"Are you ready to get on the Waldo train yet? It's about to choo-choo down.. no. That's a terrible beginning. There has to be something in my dream I can use. Get ready to get a golden ticket to an ass kicking McBride.

Waldo drops his phone, yet leaves it recording by accident again, and gets out of his seat and starts jumping. He's filled with excitement at the line he just said and quickly finds a pen and paper to write it down. He goes back to the table to sit down and picks up the phone and continues.

"Congratulations Michael McBride. You've just won a rare prize, a golden ticket ass kicking by yours truly, Waldo. Now, I know you think this is some sort of humorous joke that you're fighting me, but it's not. I'm here to fight. I'm here to be on top. No more 'where's waldo jokes'. They're going to stop! And I'm going to be the stop sign. That's right. I'm going to be the stop person.. sign.. thing.. individual.. guy to tell it to stop. That's just how I roll, like a golden corral appetizer. I can rap. Go on and tip your hat. I'll take your words of crap, and flush it down. Can you hear that sound? It's the announcement of the winner, yo. It's the striped badass named Wall-Doe.

Waldo drops his phone and buries his head in his hands.

"What the hell Waldo? You realize he's fucking Irish. He's going to kick my butt. I'm going back to sleep to finish my dream.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode Waldo.. and the Chocolate Factory? Part I
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