Jordan Caliban is already waiting anxiously in the ring; strangely enough, as the cameras pan out and we get to see a swarm of tables laid out, simply awaiting someone to properly set them up and slam a body through them. Hopefully the XWF staff didn't accidentally include TABLE in the mix, when they acquired these tables! A slam through him, would surely be his tragic demise! However there's no time to give that frightening thought more than a moment of contemplation, before music begins to blare from the speakers and the rest of the participants for this match begin to emerge.




From Tupelo, MS it's LJ "The Savior" Havok!




From Chicago, IL it's Matt Ward!




From ??? it's Death Merchant!

All four participants pair up and move to their allotted corners as they decide who will be the first to fight, in this Standard Tables Match. The fans shout and scream with excitement as Matt Ward and Jordan Caliban, make their way towards the middle of the ring. Matt and Caliban, will be the men who start off this match and from the way these men stare each other down, it surely means the audience is in for quite an epic battle! Both men stand, glaring holes through each other as the bell sounds and this match begins!


Caliban charges for Matt and Matt rears up and delivers a chop to Caliban's throat, that sends Caliban stumbling back as he starts gagging. From there, Matt hits Caliban with a few more chops to the chest and a couple knees to the ribs and kidneys. Caliban shoves Ward back and proceeds to slap Matt in the face. Ward chuckles at Caliban's slap and shakes his head, following this by headbutting Caliban in the face! Caliban's nose immediately shatters, almost as if his nose was made out of glass! Blood pours down Caliban's face and Caliban lets out a wail in agony!


Caliban spits out a mass of blood and narrows his eyes at Ward as Ward bounds back and forth in the ring in front of Caliban, in a taunting manner. Caliban shrieks in a fierce animalistic battle cry and rushes towards Matt! Matt dives towards Caliban! Both men charge for each other! Yet, both men somehow fly past each other and slam into the ropes. Both men then bounce off the ropes and soar back at each other, without even a second to react. Both men slam into one another and topple backwards to the ring, seemingly rendered immediately unconscious. The force of colliding into each other has knocked both Matt Ward and Jordan Caliban out! The crowd gasps in uncertainty as a ref checks on both men, who are laid clean out in the middle of the ring.


Death Merchant and LJ Havok, both simultaneously shake their heads as they both enter the ring and both slap the chests of their partners, in a unison that places them both as the legal men in this match. As the ref signals for XWF staff to pull Ward and Caliban, from the ring Merchant and Havok size each other up and down. Merchant and Havok walk to the center of the ring and take a moment to meet each other's hateful glare, before they start tearing into one another. The aggressive need to rip each other apart, surges from them so strongly; it literally emits and travels about the arena like a living invisible entity, that sends the fans into an uproar. Then upon the same instant both Havok and Merchant, begin trading blows. Each blow equal in strength and power. Both men taking and receiving hits like champs!


Death Merchant gets Havok with a right hook and a Forearm Smash and Havok retaliates with a left jab and an elbow shot. Merchant returns fire with several chops to Havok's chest and a Side Kick to Havoks ribs. Havok then hits Merchant with a knee to Merchant's gut and a Headbutt that sends Merchant stumbling back. Havok then takes that split second moment, to catch Merchant with several fast punches to the head and a European Uppercut, that is immediately followed by a Drop Kick! Merchant falls to the canvas and Havoks runs for the ropes and quickly advances to the top rope. From there Havok leaps from the ropes and delivers a Flying Leg Drop!


Havok's well delivered Leg Drop, causes Merchant to surge upwards in pain. Havok then rolls from the ring and grabs one of the tables. As Havok manhandles the table and begins to yank it towards the ring, a frantic cry is heard. The cry echoes around the ring and permeates the air, with a dry static sound that makes it hard to tell where the voice is actually coming from. Could it be coming from the speakers, or is it really emitting from a....


Table?


TABLE: OH MY GOD! NO! NO! NO! DON'T USE ME! I DON'T WANNA DIE! I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW I GOT HERE! THE LAST THING I REMEMBER WAS I WAS WAITING BY THE VENDING MACHINES...I PUT IN MY MONEY AND I WAS WAITING FOR MY TWINKIE TO DROP AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW - I'M HERE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD...DON'T USE ME! I JUST WANTED A TWINKIE! WHY? WHY ME? WHY AM I HERE?


Havok: What the fuck? A talking table???


TABLE: Yes, I'm a talking table. Jeez...that's all you got from what I said. Listen, if you smash Merchant through me, you'll be committing tablecide. Do you want to be convicted of the brutal murder of a young table in the prime of its life?


Havok: Um...I guess not. I never thought something like that could ever happen, but I really don't want to be the guy who murders a talking table.


TABLE: You're a kind and sweet man, thank you for sparing my life. There's just one thing.


Havok: What's that?


TABLE: Bang.


Havok: Bang?


Just then Death Merchant, who had fully recovered and climbed the ropes, drops onto LJ Havok in a brutal Suicide Dive that sends Havok to the floor!


TABLE: THAT'S RIGHT....BANG! AS IN BANG MOTHERFUCKER YOU JUST GOT BANGED IN THE HEAD BY DEATH MERCHANT FROM THE TOP ROPE! OH AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION....I'M ALSO REINFORCED WITH TITANIUM YOU ASSHAT! SO NO ASSHOLE CAN BREAK THROUGH ME! I'M TABLE BITCH! I'M TABLE AND YOU JUST GOT TABLED! OH YEAH! TABLE IS OUT THIS SHIT HOLE! SEE YOU ASSHOLES ON THE FLIPPITY FLIP SIDE! WOOO I SAID WOOOOOOOO MOTHERFUCKERS! JUST LIKE RIC FLAIR UP IN THIS BITCH! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


With that a beam of light shoots down from the ceiling and it appears to carriy TABLE up into it. Where it takes TABLE...isn't clear, but one thing is for certain that wasn't the last we seen of that crazy animate - inanimate object.


Merchant back to his feet shields his eyes as he watches TABLE slowly transcends into the beam of light and then disappears. Merchant laughs and shakes his head as he rips Havok from the floor. Merchant delivers a DDT and then follows that up by lifting Havok back up, only to deliver a brutal Back Breaker! Merchant stomps on Havok's face with his boot, before lifting Havok up and rolling Havok into the ring. Merchant then grabs a table and slides it into the ring. Following this Merchant slips into the ring right after and quickly begins setting the table up. While Merchant does this, Havok begins to stir in the ring.


As Merchant erects the table, Havoks groans and slowly rises from the ring. Havok shakes his head and looks like he was just in some horrible car accident. He seems weary and groggy from the moves Merchant caught him with. Havok staggers back and forth as Merchant finally gets the table firmly into place. Havok shakes his head again and slaps himself in the face, in an attempt to get himself in check. Havok rears back and runs forward. Havok charging forward, right at Death Merchant, who still has his back turned.


Havok inches from Merchant!


Merchant spins around and catches Havok by the throat, just before Havok makes impact!


SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!


Havok gets slammed right through the table! Death Merchant picks up the win tonight for Angels Of Death and the fans go wild!









From Birmingham, Alabama it's Elisha!




From Boston, Massachusetts it's Tony Santos!


Tony Santos and Elisha, stand at opposite sides of the ring as a casket filled with thumb tacks is rolled down the ramp and placed ringside; by faceless, nameless, grunts that make up the XWF lower tier staff. The crowd cheers enthusiastically for blood, mayhem and destruction as the bell sounds and this match begins!


Elisha lets a furious growl erupt from him, like he was some sort of beast before he charges straight for Tony Santos! Elisha catches Tony with a Spear and Tony slams into the ring post, before dropping to the canvas! Elisha quickly mounts Tony and begins wailing on him, in a mixture of punches and scratches! Elisha lives in a cave and has been away from normal society, so it appears his nails have grown a bit long and are quite sharp. They slice through Tony's chest and face as Elisha swings his arms about like a savage animal, trying to rip apart it's prey! Spit and drool, leak from the sides of Elisha's mouth and drip onto Tony as Elisha continues brutalizing Tony like some sort of crazed savage!


Tony tries to fight back though! Tony attempts to block what's happening by throwing his arms up! However, Elisha...far from being in his right mind, simply lunges forward and takes a bite out of Tony's forearm! Elisha's teeth sink into Tony's arm and Tony screams as blood just literally gushes out of Tony's arm! Elisha yanks his head back and the crowd gasps in horror at the sick sound of flesh ripping! Elisha actually took a bite out of Tony's arm and is now chewing the piece of flesh he ripped off with his teeth! Blood drips down Elisha's face as he swallows down the chunk of Tony's arm meat. Tony howls in pain and in a flash of fury and pure desperation, kicks Elisha in the nuts! Elisha lets out a wail as his hands fly to his injured testicles and Elisha tumbles over onto the canvas!


Tony sits up and scoots backwards as he pulls off his t-shirt and warps it around his arm, tying it tight in order to stop his wound from bleeding. Taking a deep breath, Tony climbs to his feet and glares at Elisha, who is still laying on the canvas. Tony is covered in sweat, from the experience of Elisha literally taking a bite out of Tony's arm, like it was a chicken drumstick! Tony's eyes are wild in a mixture of disbelief and rage as he stares at Elisha. Tony then shakes his head in an attempt to regain his bearings as he moves his wrapped arm about gingerly. A slight bit of blood starts to stain through the shirt and Tony lets out a grunt in frustration as he charges for Elisha.


That's when Tony begins stomping with all his might on Elisha. Smashing his boots into Elisha's back, ribs, sides, chest, stomach, chest and head! Blood from Elisha's mouth; from Elisha taking a bite out of Tony, smears all over the canvas. The sight of it enraging Tony even more. Tony puts all of his weight into stomping onto the back of Elisha's head and Elisha's face smashes hard into the canvas, causing Elisha's nose to begin to bleed. The canvas begins to stain with blood as Elisha shrieks in pain.


Tony pulls Elisha up by the hair and Elisha waves his arms about in a frenzy. Blood pouring from Elisha'a nose and spilling all down his chest. Tony punches Elisha in the face a couple of times and the flow of blood from Elisha's nose increases. Snot and mucus, begin to flow from Elisha's nose as well while Tony looks utterly disgusted. Tony nails Elisha with a knee to Elisha's gut and Elisha doubles over. From there Tony hits Elisha with a Frankensteiner! Elisha hits the canvas, but Tony's not done! Tony lifts Elisha up again and proceeds to lift Elisha up in the air, before extending his knee. Tony crashes Elisha's body into his knee and Elisha drops to the canvas!


The fans erupt in a frenzy of excitement as Tony rises to his feet and grabs Elisha by the ankle. Tony drags Elisha across the canvas, leaving a long trail of blood behind him as he makes his way towards the ropes. Tony slides out of the ring and yanks Elisha after him. Elisha slams onto the floor outside the ring, his head making a sick thud upon impact with the floor. Elisha lets out a whimper, like a wounded animal and Tony responds to this by kicking Elisha in the ribs.


One.


Two


Three times!


Tony delivers a kick to Elisha's ribs three times and then Tony continues to drag Elisha on a straight course, towards the casket filled with thumbtacks. However, just as Santos reaches the casket, a fan in the front row takes a picture of Tony! The flash blinds Tony and the fan takes another picture!


Then another!


Then another!


Tony stumbles back as his hand flies up to his eyes. Tony Santos is blinded by the light...or rather, the flash of a ridiculous fan with a camera! The fan then climbs over the barricade and runs over to Elisha. This fan has a long black beard and is wearing dark, sunglasses and a baseball cap, so his identity is unknown. The fan slaps Elisha in the face and attempts to revive Elisha a bit as Tony stumbles around, still blinded by the multiple flashes from the camera. The fan pats Elisha in the face a couple more times and splashes some water from a water bottle into Elisha's face. This causes Elisha's eyes to pop open suddenly and Elisha lets out a growl as massive amounts of saliva and blood, pour out of his mouth! Elisha climbs to his feet and the fan takes off, away from Elisha and up the ramp. That's when the fan begins shedding his baseball cap, large sunglasses and fake beard; to reveal, he's none other than Luca Arzegotti! Luca waves to the fans and bows, like he just put on a great show, for all who could witness what he did. Luca quickly hobbles towards the back and collides into an awaiting Mr. Satellite, at the top of the ramp. Satellite grins at Luca and gives a thumbs up sign. From there the two disappear backstage laughing.


Meanwhile, Elisha has become even more of a wild animal! The beating he incurred from Tony seems to have awakened the beast within Elisha even more so! Elisha releases a primal roar and dives towards Tony Santos as Tony blinks and appears to get his sight back, just in time for a....


Spear!


Spear!


Spear!


Elisha delivers a Spear to Tony and rams him right into the fan barrier! From there Elisha pulls Tony up and lifts Tony high above his own head! Elisha tosses him against the table, holding the casket full of thumbtacks! The table shakes and some of the thumbtacks spill out onto Tony as he lay in a heap, next to the table. Elisha wastes no time and is on Tony within a matter of seconds, yanking Tony to his feet and hitting him with Elisha's Curse!


Elisha's Curse - right into the open casket!


The force of the move is so strong....


...the table breaks!


Thumbtacks spill everywhere!


Elisha slams the casket lid closed and crawls on top the casket as he bellows out a roar of triumph and beats his blood covered chest with both fists!




We fade into a commercial break before the main event...

Warfare AND Doctor Who?! Oh, Mr. Ferrari, you spoil me!

Achievements

• 1x Tag Team Champion
  
• August 2013 Superstar of the Month (Thank you all so much!)
  
• 1x US Champion
  
• 1x X-treme Champion
  

nicely done with caliban

LJ HAVOK IS HUMAN....

SUCK... MY... DICK!

3X Star of the Month
Former 3x Hart Champion
Former 13X Xtreme Champion
Former 6X Tag Champion
Former 2X Trios Champion
Former 2x Heavy Metal Weight Champion
Former Universal Champion