Narrator: "Last we saw of Bulk Logan, he was grappling with a tough defeat, dropping the TV title to Tommy Wish due to some dirty playin' from 'The Natural' Dick Drizzle. The Bulkster needed a change of scenery. So, what did he do? He took a leap from the wrestling ring to the silver screen!"


Narrator: "Yes, Bulk Logan stars in the upcoming 'Freedom's Last Stand,' a film that might remind you of another alien invasion blockbuster from 1996—except with less budget and more Bulk. This sci-fi spectacle was as low-budget as they come, complete with special effects that might have been cutting-edge... if it were still 1983..."


Narrator: "Who knew that the man who could sell a leg drop to a packed arena would struggle to convincingly fight rubber aliens? But fear not, Bulkamaniacs! Our hero's stint in Hollywood is over, and his return to his natural habitat looms on the horizon."

Cut back to present day, Muscle Beach. Bulk Logan is surrounded by fans, clearly back in his element away from the alien invaders and questionable script choices.

Narrator: "With his movie career on pause, Bulk's sights are set on a new challenge: the X-Treme Championship. Because if there's one thing Bulk Logan knows how to do, it's make a comeback, dudes!"

The camera pans Muscle beach and all of the well sculpted bodies lifting weights, running on the sand, and playing beach volleyball (like in that one movie from back in the day when baby Bulkster was slamming Andre into the Grand Canyon). 

The camera finally settles on Bulk Logan, surrounded by a group of young, wide-eyed fans. Bulk is in his element, flexing and posing with a big grin plastered across his face.

Bulk Logan: "And that's right, little dudes and dudettes! Your very own Bulk Logan, fresh off the set of the blockbuster hit 'Freedom's Last Stand!' You know, they originally wanted Tom Cruise for the lead, but guess what?!"

In unison, the kids all yell: "WHAT!?"

Bulk Logan: "It turns out—saying your prayers and eating your vitamins—trumps smearing bird dookie on your face (look it up) and worshiping Star Wars, dudes!" 

A young wide-eyed boy steps forward.

Kid: "Bulk, is it true that Dionysus is getting a Universal title shot?"

Bulk Logan: "That's the word on the street, little man."

Kid: "That's not fair! You're so much better than him, Bulk! You destroyed him for the TV title! Nobody I know even likes stupid wine!"

Chuckling, Bulk kneels down to be eye-level with the kid.

Bulk Logan: "Don't worry, dudes! Let Dio set his sights high. A sudden rise often leads to a sudden fall! That's why Bulk's content with the steady climb. I've been the champion of Television twice in my career and now it's time to climb the next rung and win the X-Treme championship, but I hear that a literal gorilla currently holds the belt..."

The kids look concerned as Bulk stands, but he just smirks and puffs out his chest and flexing his muscles.

Bulk Logan: "And let me tell you about gorillas, little man. They're dangerous and strong, real tough customers, but they're no match for these 24-inch pythons, brother!"

The children laugh and cheer, awed by Bulk's confidence. One of the kids mimics Bulk's muscle flexing, trying to show off his own 'pythons.'

Kid: "You're gonna beat that gorilla, Bulk! You're the strongest!"

Bulk Logan: "That's right, kiddo!"

---

A few days later... 

Bulk Logan's beachfront condo. Bulk is on the phone, pacing back and forth with a face three shades redder than it's typical orange.

Bulk Logan: "What do you mean, Larry?! The match isn't for the X-Treme title anymore? Who the heck is Roger, and how did he even get a damned 24/7 defense against the gorilla, dude?!"

Larry Smith: "Bulk, take it easy, man. It's a bit of a wild story. So, Roger is this offbeat guy who ended up champion in the most Roger-way possible. Imagine this: He was magically transported right next to a sleeping gorilla and Tommy Wish, both exhausted from their match and taking a nap. Now, guess what Roger did?"

Bulk stops mid-pace, puzzled.

Bulk Logan: "What?"

Larry Smith: "He took a nap on them... And then, this ref comes along, sees the pile, throws a blanket over them, and counts Roger for the pin. Just like that, Roger is the new X-Treme Champion."

Bulk Logan: "He won a championship by taking a nap? What the hell, man!?"

Bulk shakes his head in disbelief as his frustration boils over. 

Bulk Logan: "My big return—facing a damn gorilla—and it's not even for the belt!? *SIGH* Returning to wrestle a gorilla for the X-Treme title, that’s money. Doing it just to do it—what a joke, dude! We need that title on the line. It’s what the fans and more importantly, Bulk Logan deserve!"

Larry Smith: "I get it, Bulk, and I agree with you. It’s just not the same draw without the belt on the line. Let me see what I can do. Maybe there’s a way to sway Theo to put the title back on the line."

Bulk Logan: "You better fix this, Larry. This is the Bulkster's big comeback story. And we need all eyes on ME so we can translate in-ring success into box office success, brother!"

Larry Smith: "I understand, Bulk. I’ll try contacting Theo and see if I can pull some strings. But you might have more sway here. A direct challenge to Roger, publicly calling him out... that could pressure Roger into defending the title in a big Pay-Per-View spectacular!"

Bulk takes pause to consider Larry's suggestion.

Bulk Logan: "Hmm... a direct challenge, huh? Stir up some media, get the fans roaring for it. Yeah, that could work, brother. Nobody can lay a challenge down quite like The Bulkster, dude!"

Larry Smith: "Exactly! Then go on to capture the title at The Revelry with all eyes on you—"

Bulk Logan: "—AND A BIG PAY-PER-VIEW PAYDAY! ... Alright, Larry, if the XWF won’t give Bulk Logan the title shot they promised, then Bulk Logan will just have to take it for himself, dude!"

Bulk hangs up the phone and steps out onto his balcony. He leans against the railing, gazing out at the ocean. His mind races, strategizing how to turn this setback into a comeback.

---

(05-05-2024, 01:43 PM)Roger Said: Hello everyone my name is Roger and i have been very busy with my quest to unite all of the Rogers and Josephs of the world in the name of my valiant mummy whose noble and radiant sacrifice saved all of the darling children of the world from necromancy and villainy and although this quest continues i have determined that i need to keep my combat skills sharp and quite frankly the combat at the Columbia Road Flower Market has not quite been up to scratch lately so i figured i would have a brandish of my pretty warhammer and challenge the gentlepeople of the federation that is very xtreme but spelt with an x and not an e to a gentleperson's duel.

Thank you for listening to my challenge.

Let me tell you something, brother! Bulk Logan was all set for a shot at the Xtreme Championship against A Literal Gorilla. But now I hear that some guy named Roger has gone and snagged the title while taking a snooze on that big ape!

That doesn't sit right with the Bulkster, dude!

I was supposed to get my shot at that gold and bring it back to all my Bulkamaniacs. Now, you've thrown a wrench (or a Warhammer) in my comeback tour, brother. So, Roger, you better polish that belt real nice because at The Revelry, Bulk Logan is coming for you and that title, jack!

What'cha gonna do, Roger, when Bulkamania runs wild on you?!

---

The next day.

Bulk Logan's beachfront condo, evening. Bulk is pacing back and forth in his living room with his phone pressed to his ear. He's just dropped his challenge last night and is calling Larry to inform him.

Bulk Logan: "Larry, it's Bulk. The challenge is out there, brother. I've called out Roger loud and clear. The Bulkamaniacs are gonna get the showdown they deserve at The Revelry, or Roger's going to out himself as a chicken-shit, dude!"

Larry Smith: "Bulk, I know, I saw the challenge. The XWF did too, and they’ve seen the fan reaction. I guess ticket sales were down or something... They’ve added Roger to the match against the gorilla, and the title is back on the line!"

Bulk stops dead in his tracks and raises his voice in frustration!

Bulk Logan: "What the hell, Larry?! I was gearing up to topple that gorilla and claim my glory at The Revelry. Now they're throwing all away for a TV match?!"

Larry Smith: "Bulk, remember, you were upset before when the title wasn't going to be defended on TV. This is what you wanted, man. The fans get a killer match and you get your shot at the title."

Bulk Logan: "That was before, and this is now, Jack! They're changing the game just as I laid out my plan. I was set for a monumental comeback, and now it's turning into some circus act for free TV!"

Bulk steams silently for a moment, taking deep breaths. Then, slowly, he relaxes as he processes the new scenario.

Bulk Logan: "Alright, Larry. Alright. If this is how it’s going to be, then the Bulkster is going to show up and show out. I’ll slam that big ape, and I’ll snap Roger’s frail frame in half if I have to. The X-treme title is coming home to the Bulkamaniacs, come hell or high water, dude!"

Larry Smith: "That’s the spirit, Bulk! You’ve got this, brother. The fans are behind you, and we’re all excited to see Bulkamania run wild!"

Bulk Logan: "Roger and that gorilla won’t know what hit 'em, dude! It’s time to train like never before! Warfare is gonna be the stage for Bulk Logan’s greatest victory! Now, let's get to work, brother!"

Bulk knows the wrestling world is all about the spectacle and the story. It's time to create a narrative that the fans—and the XWF—can't ignore.

---

We open inside of Bulk's home away from home:


The gym.

Bulk Logan: "Let me tell you something, brother! On May 18th, at the Spectrum Center in Charlotte, North Carolina, Bulk Logan is stepping into the ring for an X-Treme rules Triple Threat, with the prize being the X-Treme championship! 

Now, I'm not usually one for Hardcore wrestling, but when it comes to climbing to the top, the X-Treme title is the next rung on the ladder, and the Bulkster is all about reaching new heights, brother! 

And let me be clear, the only weapons I need are these two hands and the unstoppable force of Bulkamania. And who's the Bulkster facing? Well, first up,  we have a Literal Gorilla, brother. Yeah, you heard me right, a gorilla named Hank!

Now, brothers and sisters, let's get one thing straight—gorillas might be strong, but they ain't got nothing on the power of Bulkamania! The force that drives me, the force that has made the Bulkster the best wrestler to have ever lived, is gonna run wild in Charlotte, and all over that big ape, dudes!"

Bulk points at the camera.

Bulk Logan: "This gorilla, Hank, barely knows where he is at any given moment, dudes. Just watch his matches, his promos, his time working Gorilla for Anarchy. He belongs in the jungle, not in the wrestling ring, brother! 

This gorilla had the belt and lost it while taking a nap! What kind of champion does that show you he is, dudes? If he can’t even stay awake to defend his title, how's he gonna handle the hurricane of Bulkamania coming for him at Warfare?"

Bulk shakes his head, scoffing at the thought.

Bulk Logan: "And let's not even dive into what might’ve been going on before that nap! The Bulkster saves his poundings for IN the ring, dudes!

Which brings me to the final point in this hardcore pyramid, our current champion—ROGER!

What does the Bulkster have to fear from Roger? Well, let me lay it out for you, dudes! 

This guy won the X-Treme Championship by taking a snooze on top of a gorilla. 

Now, if that’s not the craziest, most outlandish way to win a title, I don’t know what is! 

But let me tell you something, Roger, you winning that belt was pure luck, and luck runs out, dude!

And your luck runs out at Warfare when you step into the ring with the master of mayhem, the sultan of slam, the most powerful force in all of wrestling, Bulk Logan, dude!"

Bulk starts to really get into his schtick now, becoming more animated as he speaks.

Bulk Logan: "Roger, you're just some scrawny kid who stumbled into the wrestling business by mistake, brother! 

And your family tree? 

That Hollywood wannabe half-brother of yours can't even hold a candle to the star power of Bulk Logan. 

That’s right, brother, I’m talking about that B-list actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

 What's he got? 

'Premium Rush' that crashed and burned at the box office.

Budget $35,000,000 (estimated) Gross US & Canada $20,275,446

'The Walk' that barely took a step in earnings.

Budget $35,000,000 (estimated) Gross US & Canada $10,137,502

And let's not forget 'Pinocchio', even the title character himself couldn't have spun a tall tale tall enough to save that movie from tanking harder than a lead balloon.

Budget $150,000,000 (estimated) Gross worldwide $33,731

Well, Roger, if he’s the best your family's blood can produce, brother, then you’re in deep trouble, because you're stepping into the ring with a true wrestling titan, and your waaaaaaay over your head, dude!"

Bulk is practically shaking with intensity now, pacing back and forth like a caged tiger on coke.

Bulk Logan: "And let's get real, brother! While Joseph's busy flopping on the silver screen, I'm in the ring, dropping giants and and making punks like you flop around from pain, dude!

Bulk takes a moment before leaning in closer to the camera.

Bulk Logan: "You see, Roger, this is Bulkamania territory, and when you step into that ring with me, dude, you're going to feel the power, the fury, and the raw intensity of the greatest force this sport has ever known! 

Hank, you should understand better than anyone—gorillas are territorial, and so is the Bulkster. Just like you defend your jungle, I defend my ring. And when Warfare comes around, I'm going to show you what the Bulkster is willing to do to defend his territory, brother!

Bulk bawls up his fist with a crazed wide-eyed glare.

Now let me lay it out for you, brother—here's how the Bulkster is going to crush these jaboni's at Warfare. Every move in my arsenal is designed to overpower and overwhelm the toughest competitors, and when the bell rings for our big clash, Roger and that gorilla are gonna quickly realized that they're no match for the full force of Bulkamania, dude!"

Bulk Logan stops and holds up his index finger to make a point.

Bulk Logan: "First up, we got the Big Punch, brother! It’s a Bulk Logan special, brother. It's like getting hit by a freight train covered in muscles, and driven by Superman, dude! 

Roger, when this fist connects with your scrawny frame, it’s gonna hit you like one of your bro's box office bombs—sudden, shocking, and brutally unforgettable!

And Hank, don’t think you’re out of the woods, dude, because when the Bulkster's fist lands on that thick skull of yours, it’s gonna feel like the whole of the jungle just came crashing down on your face, brother!"

He demonstrates with a big winding motion before throwing a heavy punch into the air.

Bulk Logan: "Then we roll into the Scoop Slam. 

I’m gonna lift you up high, Roger, so you can get a good look at the Bulkamaniac’s screaming faces, before I slam you down to the mat so hard you hit you head on the spotlights, brother! 

And Hank, don't think you're safe, dude—this move works just as well on four hundred pounds of gorilla as it does on lightweight chumps when you're running on the power of Bulkamania, brother!"

Laughing, he shifts his body to demonstrate the mounted corner punches.

Bulk Logan: "And when I’ve got you in the corner, that’s when the heavy hands rain down, dudes. 

It’s a Bulk Logan hailstorm wrapped in a hurricane, and it doesn’t let up until you don’t know which way is up or which way is out!"

He rubs his chin, chuckling.

Bulk Logan: "But it’s not all just fun and games, because here comes the Big Boot.

I’ll whip you into the ropes and when you come back, it’s night-night time, dudes! 

That size 15 is the last thing you’re gonna see before you hit the mat and wake up backstage, brother! 

This boot isn’t just for walking, dude, it’s for knocking lights out!

Finally, we have the grand finale – the Leg Drop of Gloom! And when I bring all my weight crashing down on you, you're gonna wish you’d never stepped into the ring with the Bulkster in the first place! 

You're gonna feel every ounce of Bulkamania as it crushes you beneath the mightiest legs in wrestling history, dudes! 

This is the move that’s flattened giants, humbled the arrogant, and sealed the fate of any challenger daring enough to face me.

And it's going to crown me the new X-Treme Champion and prove once again why the power of Bulkamania is the ultimate force in this sport!"

With a sudden burst of energy, he grabs the neck of his shirt and rips it off in one swift, powerful motion.

Bulk Logan: "Roger, you better start saying your prayers and taking your vitamins, dude, because you’re going to need all the help you can get to survive five-minutes with me, brother! 

And as for you, Hank, it's time to retreat back to the jungle where you belong. This ring is my kingdom, brother, and I rule it with an iron fist. So pack your bags and get outta here before I get charged with animal cruelty, brother, because you don't wanna see what happens when I defend my territory, believe me, dude!"

Bulk nods with a confident smirk.

Now, all that's left to do is ask yourselves this question—What'cha gonna do when Bulkamania runs wild on you?! What'cha gonna do when the greatest wrestler in the world tears down the Spectrum Center with the sheer force of his will?!

And What'cha gonna do when the dust settles, when the cheers of the Bulkamaniacs fill the arena, and world is left with no doubt—no question Bulk Logan is the REAL X-Treme champion, dudes!"

Bulk does his iconic pose, flexing his muscles, as the screen fades to black.

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