The remnants of the private jet lay scattered in the dense Amazon jungle. TK is disoriented and a little shaken, with the help of Jimmy he had managed to crawl out of the wreckage. TK is smoking his cigar that he had found on the ground as Jimmy starts to look for the flight attendant, and the two pilots, the captain and the co-pilot. Jimmy yells back to TK in frantic excitement.
I think I found someone!
Rolling his eyes, TK mumbles, audible only to the camera's microphone.
Great. Woo-hoo.
Jimmy, not hearing the mumbles of a man hundred of yards away, calls out to TK again..
I might need some help!
TK takes a puff from his cigar before shouting back.
You'll be fine! Just bring them over here to me!
Jimmy doesn't mind doing things on his own, however, in this case, he could have really used some help. Jimmy has found the Captain. Unfortunately, the Captain is underneath some of the jet's wreckage and Jimmy doesn't know who it is quite yet. Jimmy isn't strong enough to pick up the heavy metal. Jimmy struggles a couple of times trying to pick it up before hearing a frail voice behind him.
I heard you could use some help over here.
Jimmy looks over his shoulder and sees what he assumes is one of the pilots.
Thank the Bastardly Father! Someone is stuck underneath these pieces of metal. Oh, by the way, my name is Jimmy. What's yours?
The man wipes his forehead, where there is a nasty wound, Blood is going everywhere.
Names Mitch, I was the co-pilot of the plane.
Quick on his feet, Jimmy removes his shirt and hands it to Mitch.
Tie this around your head. Maybe it'll stop some of that bleeding.
Mitch follows Jimmy's instructions, securing the makeshift bandage. Together, they work to remove the wreckage, piece by heavy piece. As they lift the final piece, the trapped man reveals himself, gasping for air.
Captain Reynolds, are you alright?
Captain Reynolds, despite being pinned beneath the wreckage, looks remarkably unharmed. He greets them with a touch of humor,
I'm looking better than you.
Jimmy holds his hand out and helps Captain Reynolds to his feet. Off in the distance a woman screams.
That sounds like Sarah.
It sure does. I hope she's alright!
I'm sure she's fine. We've all come out of this pretty unscathed so far.
Jimmy looks back at Mitch, who has Jimmy's shirt tied around the top of his head trying to stop the bleeding from his forehead.
Maybe, not unscathed but you know what I mean.
The three men turn in the direction of the distant scream. Leaving TK, still preoccupied with his cigar, near the wreckage, as Jimmy and company set off in search of the flight attendant, Sarah. As they progress through the tangled underbrush, the jungle becomes denser, and the eerie sounds of unfamiliar wildlife fills the air. The source of the scream seems to be getting closer. Finally, they stumble upon a downed tree where they found
Sarah, sitting on the ground. She looks relieved to see them but she is clearly in distress. Her leg is wounded, and she is unable to stand or walk. Blood stains her clothing, and she ties a makeshift bandage around her injured leg, trying to stop the bleeding much like Mitch. Reynolds rushes to her side and knelt down, concern painted across his face.
Sarah, are you okay?
Sarah nods weakly wincing in pain.
I'm so glad you guys found me. My leg is messed up and I don't think I can walk. That tree fell on my leg after we crashed.
Mitch immediately assesses the wound and tries to provide some comfort.
Don't worry, we're here to help. Let's see what we can do.
Jimmy, still eager to assist, looks around the immediate area.
We should find some branches or something to make a makeshift splint so she can walk back to the wreckage. Then we need to come up with some kind of plan.
Captain Reynolds and Mitch nod in agreement. They quickly set to work, finding sturdy branches and vines to craft the makeshift splint. It took some time, but they managed to fashion a relatively stable splint. Gently, they help Sarah to her feet, being as careful as possible not to cause her further pain. With the combined effort of Jimmy and Reynolds, they lift her and begin the challenging journey back to the wreckage where TK still remains, unaware of Jimmy's findings.
TK, his normal bravado reduced to nothing, demands.
Someone needs to fucking do something about this mess! And get me the Hell out of here!
The reality of their situation began to sink in as they heard eerie, unfamiliar sounds echoing through the thick jungle. Captain Reynolds, his authoritative demeanor taking charge once again, gathers the group and explains,
We've crashed in the heart of the Amazon. Our plane is a total wreck, and we have no way to communicate. Our best bet is to find shelter, and we'll need to move quickly.
Jimmy, always eager to please, chimes in.
Yes, Captain Reynolds is right, TK. We should listen to him.
Oh, yeah, let’s follow the fucking guy who wrecked the goddamn plane. Makes perfect sense.
TK's usual arrogance is eclipsed by the uncertainty of getting home. He reluctantly follows Reynolds into the dense underbrush, with the others close behind. The jungle is filled full of unfamiliar wildlife, for every member of the party their eyes dart to the shadows because something seems off, and their hearts pound with every rustle of leaves that isn't coming from their movement. They walk in a line, Reynolds up front, followed by TK and Jimmy. Sarah, however, is being helped by Jimmy and the last man in line is Mitch. They walk for a while, as TK complains about almost everything. Suddenly, a hush falls over the forest. A rock is thrown out of nowhere striking Mitch in the chest thus causing him not to make a sound. Not having any time to react Mitch is scooped up by a silent indigenous person swinging from a vine. The rest of the group keeps walking, not noticing that Mitch has been taken away.
That’s fucking wired.
What’s weird, TK?
It’s as quiet as fan reactions to a goddamn Centurion promo all the sudden.
Not with you talking.
Sarah says while she's being assisted in her walking.
Who the fuck is this cunt? I’m talking about the birds and shit. Even the fucking bugs quit doing their bug shit.
The Captain takes notice of this now that TK said something. He stops and turns to the group behind him which in turn causes the group to stop.
He’s righ-
The Captain notices that Mitch is no longer trailing behind everyone else.
Where’s Mitch?
He’s right-
As Jimmy speaks he points behind him, still with Sarah draped on his shoulder helping her walk.
-here. What the…
Yo, Mitch!
TK yells out mockingly, thinking he’s just fallen behind.
Where’s your bitch-ass?
Here, TK, hold her for a minute.
Jimmy tries to pass Sarah over to TK. As Jimmy lets go of Sarah she doesn’t get any help from TK. She falls to the ground.
Hey! What the Hell, man!
Shrugging like Warstein, TK smirks at her.
I’m not wasting my strength out here helping you. That’s for fuck sure.
Jimmy retraces along the trail the group had carved through the jungle. As he progresses, he spots the shirt he had handed to Mitch lying just beyond the edge of the trail.
Over here! I found my shirt!
Jimmy surveys the area where the discovery was made.
I don’t see Mitch anywhere.
Jimmy, hurry back over here!
Jimmy promptly complies with Reynolds' request and hurries back. Upon his return, he spots Sarah on the ground and then glances at TK.
Seriously?
She’s not my goddamn problem. If you want to have a problem, have your fucking problem.
Jimmy assists Sarah back to her feet while the Captain addresses the group again.
I've heard stories of people who live here in the Amazon that stalk and kill their prey using the trees.
Like in Predator?
Something like that.
Hell, yeah.
We can't sit around here; they might come back.
As they venture deeper into the jungle, one man down, they stumble upon a trail with a crude sign. Sarah, with her undertrained flight attendant instincts, notices it and says,
This trail might lead to a village or some kind of civilization. We should follow it.
TK was wary but had no choice. They follow the trail, their nerves fraying with each step. The sounds around them grow more mysterious. Whispers in an unfamiliar dialect, and the rhythmic beating of drums in the distance. The group that was once five and is now four, exchange looks of anxiousness.
The Fuck is that now?
I have no clue.
I didn't actually think anyone lived in the jungle anymore. I thought it was all bullshit I made up to keep you guys calm and keep moving forwar-
TK interjects knowing the Captain was full of shit all along.
Look at this fucking guy. They call me a piece of shit for less, ya know that?
I just assumed an animal got Mitch.
What makes you think it’s people?
The Captain points at the crudely made sign.
Only people make signs.
Guys, I don’t have a good feeling about this.
Casting a sharp look in Sarah's direction, TK fires back.
No shit, bitch. Do you think any of us have a fucking good feeling about this?
Usually, Jimmy would be the one to clean up TK's mess, but this time, even he agrees.
Yeah, Mitch is gone. I don't think he'll be coming back.
The group continues to move forward, but it becomes evident that Sarah can no longer bear to walk through the unforgiving rainforest. Her injured leg throbs with pain, and she casts a pleading glance at Jimmy.
Can we stop, please?
TK can’t help but complain, expressing his frustration, he lashes out.
Bitch, we just stopped. I have a match on the fucking 28th! I don't have time for all this bullshit!
Reynolds, the voice of reason, suggests a solution.
I have an idea.
Great.
How about, Jimmy and I, climb over that nearby ridge and scout the surroundings for any signs of help.
And what? Leave me here with the crippled bitch?
That's about the last "bitch" I take from you.
Good sounds like we have some more to go then.
It's alright, TK, she'll be fine. Right, Sarah?
Yeah, just tell the neanderthal not to speak to me.
Jimmy begins to say something to TK, but before he can speak, TK interrupts him.
Shut the fuck up and get up the goddamn hill. You two don't take all day.
Jimmy and Captain Reynolds venture toward the ridge's summit, leaving TK and Sarah behind. The tension between the two could be cut with a knife. As they await the return of the two men, some time passes without the two speaking. TK becomes increasingly uncomfortable, feeling the urge to take a leak. He eventually steps into the dense foliage, Sarah speaks up.
Where are you going?
I'm going to take a piss. Mind your own goddamn business.
I hope whatever took Mitch, gets you!
TK unzips his pants to take a leak, the sound of nature's call echoes through the surrounding area of the jungle. As he stands mid-stream, a piercing scream from Sarah ruins TK's blissful piss. The scream abruptly stops, plunging the forest into silence. TK quickly finishes and puts his dick back in his pants before hurrying back to the spot where Sarah should have been. Initially, he doesn't see anything that he'd call unusual, but it's only when he sits on the rock where Sarah had been that he notices something isn't right. In the distance, a faint, ominous gurgling noise reaches his ears. He takes a few steps into the thick brush directly behind him and sees her. Sarah's head has been caved in.
Oh, fucking gnarly, dude.
Shortly after discovering Sarah's lifeless body, Jimmy and Reynolds return to the scene.
Thunder Knuckles! How could you?!
Oh, get fucked, Jimmy! I didn't do this!
Well, you two certainly didn't get along.
Doesn't mean I would kill the bitch. It got quite like it did earlier with Mitch. I was taking a piss and when I came back I saw this shit.
We need to keep moving.
I agree.
The three men continue their trek. Soon, they emerge from the dense rainforest into a clearing, where they come face to face with a tribe of indigenous people, their faces painted with intricate patterns, adorned with feathers and bone ornaments. The tribe regarded them with a mix of curiosity and wariness. Captain Reynolds steps forward with a friendly gesture.
We mean no harm. We're lost and need help.
The tribe's leader, a dignified figure, approaches and speaks in an unknown language. Reynolds, who has some experience in various cultures, tries to communicate using gestures and limited words. The leader of the tribe seems to understand, but doesn’t care, he waves his hand and turns his back. As the tribe's leader walks away an arrow pierces the skull of Reynolds between the eyes. He falls lifelessly into a heap in front of TK and Jimmy. TK, in a rare moment of humility, whispers to Jimmy.
Maybe we should just shut the fuck up, Jimmy.
Jimmy nods. The tribe offers food, Jimmy starts to eat it until TK slaps it out of his hands. TK shakes his head no at Jimmy. They aren't a peaceful people, living deep in the Amazon, away from the modern world. They're savages and TK suspects that they would poison them. Jimmy understands this without words. The indigenous people laugh, almost certainly confirming TK’s suspicions. As they continue to laugh, another member of their tribe is dragging the lifeless body of Captain Reynolds past. Once the body was removed both men were grabbed up by the men that would be guarding them. They are hustled over to a large wooden cage and thrown in. Jimmy glances over to TK who's as calm as ever.
Do you think we're going to make it out of this?
There is no goddamn way I don't show up to Philly and defend my Universal Championship.
You better be right.
Seriously though, Jimmy, how can anyone trust Edward to be the Universal Championship? Motherfucker ain't even found fire yet and I'm not just talking about banging two rocks together for sparks. Hell, any moron can go to the gas station and pick up a lighter. speaking of which my opponent doesn't even know how to pump gas. I’m talking about there's no fire in his heart, in his eyes, or in his sperm judging by that lanky, idiot son of his, Edward jr. who dropped Edward faster than his goddamn run here in XWF. The Universal XBUX Championship is safe around my waist.
He's a proven talent on Anarchy.
Pfft. "Proven talent" and Anarchy being a Oxyclean.
Jimmy needs to think on his feet before TK resumes speaking, quickly searching his mind for the precise word TK is trying to say.
I think you mean, oxymoron, Thunder Knuckles.
You're right, he is a moron. It's the little things that make ole Edward look bad. Like the fact he took the night off at War Games. Where was the "Strongest Warrior"? Don't you think a team could have used a guy like? I mean, if it was true. Which we all know it's not. Nah, it looks like being the Anarchy Champion is like competing for the Special Olympics. You stick around on that show long enough you'll get yourself some gold. Hell, beating the Misfits on the regular doesn't mean much when you have to face the likes of Corey Smith, Thunder Knuckles, Mark Flynn, and even Doc.
Pausing to reflect on his previous statement, TK corrects himself.
I take that shit back. Nah, not about the talent you have to face as Universal Champion. Nope, I'm talking about the Special Olympics. Those gold medals actually hold some prestige. Those cookie faced mother fuckers hold that shit with more pride than Edward does with the belt he holds. He's so quick to throw it all away. Come to think of it? How's this fuck fighting for a title while holding one? That's some straight Mark Flynn winning his Xtreme Championship bullshit, right there.
Makes sense seeing as he won the opportunity on that show Flynn commentated on.
TK expresses his discontent with a classic eye roll.
Optimal path, my ass. Before I get off track talking about that douche canoe. I have to tell the XWF fans around the world that guys like Edward don't advance beyond prehistoric times. When you look at Ol' Thunder Knuckles, you're looking at the peak of human civilization, streaming services, donuts, and goddamn monster truck rallies. You can trust when I tell you that the Eastern State Penitentiary is going to look like a demolition derby when I beat the beats off the six foot five, muscle bound, shit stain. Make no mistake I'm sending Edward back to Anarchy with his dick tucked firmly between his legs. Then again he might have to wait a few more million years before he gets one that doesn't produce failure.
A smile graces TK's face as he revels in his evolution joke. However, the realization quickly dawns on him that none of his banter can become a reality unless he finds a way to break free from the confines of his current predicament.
Jimmy, I think I have an idea about how we're going to get out of this.
With a hopeful smile, Jimmy glances over at TK, confident that his hero will save the day.