Quote:

HGH - vs - LORD RAAB Sticky Goop Match! Whoever wins will do so by knocking their opponent into a vat of putrid, sticky goop at ringside!

HGH and Raab beat the crap out of each other for 15 minutes, but eventually HGH is able to retain his gold by reversing a CHOKEINATOR into a monkey flip right into the sticky goop!

Winner by Sticky Gooping - HGH

Bobby looks away from the monitor. A tear is welling in his eye.

HGH, I have to admit, what I saw out there, the technical mastery, the absolute artistry you displayed in that ring, both you and your opponent, for fifteen of the most exciting minutes in wrestling history. It's beyond words, gentlemen. On that note, well, HGH, the way I reckon, you beat Sid, I gotta get my get back from her, you know things I don't, and having watched you go in a Sticky Goop match, I think I might have to learn exactly what. That's why, any time, meet me at Warfare, and you and I will have us a go in your signature, the Sticky Goop match.

Bobby smiles and nods.

I, however, am kicking it up a few notches, theirs can go to eleven, so BOB kicks it to well after twelve, if you can dig it bub. So this won't be just some run of the mill, rinky-dink dog and pony show in a bingo hall style Sticky Goop match, nah, no way, we're making this...

Bobby inhales deeply and exhales slowly, glaring at the camera.




















































































































































A Purple Sticky Goop match!

Bobby looks intense.

That's right, this ain't your regular carnie splooge, as nasty as that is. This incorporates some of the finest corporate and industrial waste we have to offer, and the cool part is, they paid me to take it from them for some reason! Flushed chemotherapy fluids, emptied colostomy bags from celebrity rehab centers, some wild stuff from Siberia I can't identify but it smells lemony, run-off from Flynt Michigan, I'm talking a vile concoction so disgusting that it would kill Captain Planet. Since he's fictional, well, and since BOB aren't shit people anymore, we don't need it anymore. If you're human, though, you just take a shower after and you'll be fine. I think. We haven't tested it yet.

....do it.....

....lol no....

..........please?

*ignores you*

.............c'mon dooooo iiiiiiiit...........

*turns back to the servants painting her immaculate nails*

.....FINE

DING!

TotesNOTBobby has subscribed to OnlySar

......better.......

TotesNOTBobby has subscribed to Sarmazon Prime

..........getting there.........

TotesNOTBobby has donated $100 to your "New Shoes, Yo!" GoFundSar Fundraiser

THERE we go!














Hell there, Baby Birds! I don't know about you, but I saw, like, the BEST Anarchy Championship match, like, EVER last week. And you can take MY word for it, obvs, because YOUR reason for being, THE Aristocracy of Professional Wrestling, was there! And while I know that the television broadcast of 

THE STICKY GOOP MATCH (OF DOOM!)

was, like, super duper edited, because LOL we can't put on Anarchy, I can tell you that it was a gruesome, back-and-forth affair that featured insane cameos, death-defying antics, over-the-top commentary, and mind-blowing ring entrances. Like, legit, the entire Raab family....including Lordo's 27 nephews and nieces we're, like, apparently supposed to forget exist? However that works...came out and sang a ROUSING rendition of I Wanna Raab 

(RAAB!)

that brought the audience to tears. So the question is: How does Atticus, Glory be his name, TOP that match? Why, look no further than Warfare (a different show? Sure!) and

BOBBY 

VS

HGH

(Title? Non-Title? I'm not sure, axly)

IN

STICKY GOOP MATCH TWO: PURPLE'S REVENGE!

There it is, dear Baby Birds. From the mouth that holds THE best smile in the XWF (I have the plaque to prove it!), there is literally NO better, higher, or more totes legit endorsement than this.

Theo? Vinnifred? Atticus? 

BOOK IT!

(04-20-2023, 04:22 PM)Lacklan Said: ....do it.....

....lol no....

..........please?

*ignores you*

.............c'mon dooooo iiiiiiiit...........

*turns back to the servants painting her immaculate nails*

.....FINE

DING!

TotesNOTBobby has subscribed to OnlySar

......better.......

TotesNOTBobby has subscribed to Sarmazon Prime

..........getting there.........

TotesNOTBobby has donated $100 to your "New Shoes, Yo!" GoFundSar Fundraiser

THERE we go!














Hell there, Baby Birds! I don't know about you, but I saw, like, the BEST Anarchy Championship match, like, EVER last week. And you can take MY word for it, obvs, because YOUR reason for being, THE Aristocracy of Professional Wrestling, was there! And while I know that the television broadcast of 

THE STICKY GOOP MATCH (OF DOOM!)

was, like, super duper edited, because LOL we can't put on Anarchy, I can tell you that it was a gruesome, back-and-forth affair that featured insane cameos, death-defying antics, over-the-top commentary, and mind-blowing ring entrances. Like, legit, the entire Raab family....including Lordo's 27 nephews and nieces we're, like, apparently supposed to forget exist? However that works...came out and sang a ROUSING rendition of I Wanna Raab 

(RAAB!)

that brought the audience to tears. So the question is: How does Atticus, Glory be his name, TOP that match? Why, look no further than Warfare (a different show? Sure!) and

BOBBY 

VS

HGH

(Title? Non-Title? I'm not sure, axly)

IN

STICKY GOOP MATCH TWO: PURPLE'S REVENGE!

There it is, dear Baby Birds. From the mouth that holds THE best smile in the XWF (I have the plaque to prove it!), there is literally NO better, higher, or more totes legit endorsement than this.

Theo? Vinnifred? Atticus? 

BOOK IT!

I finally sounded right quoted in a Lacklan thing y'all!

[/bobby]

(04-20-2023, 08:34 PM)Bobby Bourbon Said: I'd leave Bouncy on the side of the road like a drowned cat for even the barest chance of looking at the smallest hint of your expensive and valuable smile 😭🥰😭🥰😭🥰

Oh, shit, remember, this is because I want to fight anyone BUT Sarah Lacklan in the most epic, drag out, down and filthy match in XWF history in a Purple Sticky Goop Match.

Bobby rolls his eyes at Lacklan's poor ruse.

"Mr. Bourbon, I understand that you have been seeking me out. As the reigning champion, my schedule is quite full these days. Therefore, I regret to inform you that I must decline your invitation to come to Warfare. As the champion of Anarchy, I have the privilege of hosting my own show, and if you insist on facing me, then it is only appropriate that you come to me and compete on my terms. The decision is now yours, Mr. Bourbon. The ball is in your court."

I don't want to play ball, I want a damned Purple Sticky Goop match because you tore the house down in the last one!

(04-20-2023, 09:16 PM)Lacklan Said:

(04-20-2023, 08:34 PM)Bobby Bourbon Said: I'd leave Bouncy on the side of the road like a drowned cat for even the barest chance of looking at the smallest hint of your expensive and valuable smile 😭🥰😭🥰😭🥰

I don't see a picture of Sid, she took me on after other matches, you ducked me like like an absolute chickenshit. Look up inevitable in the XWF Dictionary, I look great in that picture!

Oh, yeah, that last line was whoop ass smacktalk, but, well, since us Bros aren't all that convinced it belongs in promos anymore, well, we'll just sprinkle it in right here.