There was a crowd gathered at the SACC’s main campus square. Gathered at a podium, they all looked up at the Dean, who was accompanied by two prominent guests.

Dean Henderson tapped the mic, sending screeching feedback through the speakers that caused those in attendance to groan in pain as their ears started to whistle.

"This thing on? Oh great! Ahem! Ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, this city’s PREMIER College, the SACC, never turns down an opportunity for expansion and growth, just like its students! I am therefore absolutely delighted to welcome you to the ribbon cutting of our newest facility for animal welfare studies, including fully equipped labs! But before we get down to to business, I would like to invite the mayor of San Antonio on to the stage, please welcome… Ron Nirenberg!"

Ron Nirenberg, the Independent mayor of San Antonio, took a step forward as the crowd mildly applauded. The Dean tried to hype them up a bit by flailing his arms upward, but with little success. The mayor didn’t seem to care much, however.

"Thank you, Dean Henderson. It is a pleasure and a privilege to be here. The San Antonio Community College has always carried a special place in my heart. Our city is proud to play host to wonderful schools, like San Antonio State…"

"*COUGH*HACKS*COUGH*"

"…and this one… But we also play host to the LFL’s Cowgirls. The Alamo! Six Flags! The River Walk! And much, much more. But this is a special week for us, because one of San Antonio’s very own, will be defending our proud city’s honor as San Antonio hosts the XWF’s flagship show, Weekend Warfare. So allow me to introduce to you, the woman who made all of this possible, San Antonio’s and the SACC’s very own, Angelica Vaughn!"

As Angelica was announced, an applause broke loose that dwarfed the mayor’s in comparison. Nirenberg didn’t seem to mind, however, as he joined in on the applause and took a step to the side.

Angie stepped up. She was clad for the occasion, in a tasteful dress and impossibly high heels, a bright smile lighting up the entire courtyard. In one arm, she cradled a pair of giant scissors, while she clutched a bottle in her other hand. In the front row, the Kappa Alpha Tau sorority sisters, clad in their traditional KAT gear, were waving pompons and started a yell.

*ANGIE ANGIE REIGNS SUPREME
NED KAYE’S WORDS WERE TOTES TOO MEAN
SHE WILL SHOW HIM WHAT IS WHAT
NED KAYE YOU ARE SUCH A TW-*

”Errr, yes, that’ll do, sisters! Thankies ever so much! And to Dean Henderson and Mayor Nirenberg as well, for allowing me to do this. I’ve been at this school for quite some time now, and a while ago I thought it was time for me to give something back. So when I went to the Dean with plans to fund a new department for animal welfare research and studies, I was thrilled to discover his enthusiasm. After the building permits were secured, we got to work! And today we finally see it pay off. But before I get to the actual cutting of the ribbon, I---”

Angelica was interrupted by the buzzing of her own phone. Her cheeks flushed red in embarrassment as she immediately shut it off.

”Sorry about that! So, before we get to the ribbon cutting, I would like to talk about what this city means to me. And what better way to do that than to elaborate on what Mayor Nirenberg said? Yes, I *will* be defending the city’s honor at tomorrow’s Weekend Warfare. And I *will* be trying to advance through to the third round of the March Madness tournament!

And yet, my opponent had the err… shall we say ‘notion’, that he can come out in MY hometown, and have HIS heart and yours connect in a way that ‘I cannot comprehend’. Well, tough luck, Neddard. That might have been true in any other arena in the world. But if you AXLY think that you’re going to have the crowd on your side in this one, I’m afraid you’re going to be disappointed. Because why should the great people of San Antonio believe more in you than they do in me, when you don’t even believe in yourself?

Of course, it’s not the only rather silly thing he said. He blamed me for many things, like ‘ghosting’ John Madison Junior. A guy who some of you may have seen around here, after I invited him here. So, like,… Ghosting??? If Ned had paid attention, he’d know that I did everything in my power to not just drag him out of his shell, but to drag him to success. And it worked, for a time. And then, JMJ basically called me a worthless prostitute and showed up to our matches bored out of his mind and lost us the tag team gold. Something I was extremely upset about. It’s literally a matter of public record!! But hey, Ned, you claim to ‘listen’, right? You don’t think I ‘care’, right? Big whoopsie there, my friend. Telling the people demonstrable lies about me while trying to prop yourself up isn’t going to cast a good light on you, I’m afraid. And it’s a pity. Because I think you’re a good dude, all in all. But you’re so desperate to put me in a bad spotlight and turn the people against me that you saw no other option but to resort to the same old demonstrably untrue nonsense that other low fruit pickers preferred. Sour grapes, eh? Generally, that didn’t work out well for them. Do better, Ned. You’re going to have to.”

The crowd hooted and hollered for their hometown heroine.

”N-E-Ways!

Let’s cut a ribbon! And baptize this thing! And I know what some people may be thinking. ‘Hey Angie, why haven’t you been talking to or about Sarah yet, you just live in her shadow, right??’ Well, I know that my opponent likes talking more about my sis than about his actual opponent for the week, but let’s stay relevant and on topic here. This is NOT about her, and I hope I made that ABSOLUTELY CLEAR! Now, we have a new department to open! And we’re going to baptize it with the brand new *CH-ANG-DONNAY*, the newest sparkling wine from the STA vinnie-yards! Don’t forget to have a taste at the reception later! Soon to be found in your local supermarkets!”

Angelica took the huge pair of scissors and ceremoniously cut the ribbon, with all the necessary exaggerated pomp and circumstance. The crowd applauded, the dean nearly fainted due to the overwhelming emotion of the moment, and the Mayor checked his watch because he had a few other events to attend today but he really wanted a taste of that Ch-ang-donnay. Angelica shook the bottle and let its cork pop. A stream of fizzy wine was blasted all over the new department’s wall, signaling the end of the ceremony and the start of the reception. Everybody made their way over to the catering tables, and as Angelica made a mental note to send Dionysus a few bottles as a thank you for the inspiration and to hopefully make him forget about Blondie’s untimely demise, the crowd was shocked as they heard more feedback coming through the speakers.

”HI-HIIIIII~”

”Oh noes…”

The whole crowd turned its attention back to the podium, where a certain someone stood, clad in the biggest dress with the puffiest sleeves and most ridiculous hat they’d ever seen.

”This is your ultimate reason for being, your one and only--- HEY!”

Sarah was cut off as Angelica grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her up into the air before carrying her off the stage.

”SIS! I canNOT beLIEVE you!! I LITERALLY just stood on that stage telling everybody that my detractors use you against me, and it’s exactly because of stuff like this! Stop it!”

”I wanted to surprise you in your smelly Hicksville before the show! You didn’t even answer my call earlier!”

”Because this is NOT! ABOUT! YOU!”

Angelica put Sarah back down near the campus’ exit.

”Sis, I love you, but now I need you to get out of here, go back to my place and wait for me. Because right now, literally every future opponent of mine is wringing their hands and going ‘sEe?AnGiEnEeDsSaRtObErElEvAnT!!!8!!’ Now go!”

Angelica dusted her hands off after she pushed Sarah into the cab that brought her here.

”Right. I hope I made my point once and for all! Now, back to the party!”

On the way back to the catering, she bumped into her *other* sisters, who were waving their pompons about, continuing their bit as Angelica’s personal cheer squad.

*ANGIE SAID GOODBYE TO KIN
MARCH MADNESS IS YOURS TO WIN
NED KAY DOESN’T STAND A CHANCE
THOUGH HE’S A CUTIE AT FIRST GLANCE*

”You guys think so? Not too short?”

*NED KAYE HAS BEAUTIFUL HAIR
HE BEST NOT SHAVE IT ON A DARE
ALTHOUGH IN RING HE AIN’T ALL THAT
HE IS STILL TALLER THAN THAD*

”…okies… I guess my own sorority sisters have a crush on my opponent, thanks for the confidence, gals! But when we face off in the ring tomorrow, you better only be starting chants in my favor! Like I said earlier, it’s my hometown! And besides, Sandra, Rita, Pamela,… You’ll have a hard time getting him to notice you. After all, I’m his opponent this week, and he has barely even noticed *me*. Sure, he had his preconceptions, none of which he dared to challenge by what could actually be *seen*, but it’s almost like he asked ChadGPT to write him a bit on “someone who has a sister I dislike”. Oh yeah, but *I* am the one who doesn’t ‘care’. AXLY let me pull up #CoolTube, because I need to get this out there!”

Angelica, having arrived at the catering tables, took a swig of Ch-ang-donnay, and pulled up her phone. Before she could load her #CoolTube app, she heard a famous ringtone. Apparently, her phone was no longer on silent mode.

HI-HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~! HI-HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~”

”Dang it, Sar, not now!!! It’s NOT ABOUT YOU!!!”

She rejected the call, and started a recording.

”Hi-hiiiiiiiii~! My Vaughnstars, the time for talking is NEARLY over, I promise! And I want to get this out here, once and for all. And if ANYONE ever brings this up again in the future, it’s proof they haven’t even BOTHERED to know what they’re talking about! I wanted to address Ned’s accusation about how I don’t ‘care’. I care more about this than anything else I’ve ever done! You can’t even begin to fathom the sacrifices I’ve made to even get my career as a wrestler started. I also realize that we all have had to make sacrifices. You too, Ned. Heck, for a good while there it even seemed like you sacrificed your sanity. But you crawled back, and you’re actually doing a great job. You’re well respected, and you’re worthy of love and admiration. So I’m happy for you, truly. Now if I can acknowledge that, why is it so hard for you to just admit that I’m not as horrible and hypocritical as you claim I am? Why do we need to throw good manners out of the window, and resort to petty lies? Slinging mud is never worth it, especially if it doesn’t stick. I had hoped you would be above that, but instead you just filled up another bingo card.

Ned, you can do better. And you can start doing better after March Madness. Because your road to March Madness ends tomorrow. Regardless, I hope we can shake hands after the match. Maybe have a glass of ch-ang-donnay. And maybe then you can acknowledge me for who *I* am, rather than who you think I am supposed to be.”

-fin-